<p>Today, my mom said that if I made it into my one top college, she'd try to support me no matter what.. but if I didn't, she wants me to go to a public college. </p>
<p>It bothers me that she thinks of college on such a simplistic level. College is where I'm headed for the next 4-8 years and I'm more interested in private schools. I wish she'd try to learn more about financial aid options.. rather than simplifying the whole ordeal into private college = $$ expensive and public school = no $$ unexpensive.</p>
<p>The problem is, I don't know much about the finances behind college either. This is so frustrating. My mom is causing me so much stress on top of being a junior in high school with 5 APs with her (what I consider) uneducated remarks. </p>
<p>When she says that I only have ONE chance to get into my first choice early decision, that's just stressful. That just makes me hesitate to go for a college I want if it happens to be selective... </p>
<p>I want to know... how do Ivy League colleges and private schools offer scholarship money to students? Can I just apply for it as a student and get as much as I need?</p>
<p>How can I get a significant amount of scholarship money? (For example, 50 dollars wouldn't help much)</p>
<p>How do I deal with my mom and explain my feelings to her? She thinks that if I go to a public school that I don't want to attend, everything will be all great.. she'll have nothing to pay at all.. I heard that private schools are great at offering money.. is this true?</p>
<p>the Ivy Leagues only offer need-based aid; not merit at all. so if your efc is low, then you'll get a lot of aid. considering that your mom is willing to pay for a top school (which is quite expensive to attend), you might not get a lot of aid. but your mom may just want you to go to a top school so badly that she will somehow find a way to send you there. to get a clear picture of how much aid you'll get, calulate you efc. there are some efc calculators available online: look on collegeboard.com of <a href="http://finaid.org/calculators/finaidestimate.phtml%5B/url%5D">http://finaid.org/calculators/finaidestimate.phtml</a>. look at both the fed methology and institutional. most private colleges use the institutional, so you might want to pay close attention to that.
if you really have a school you want to go to and money is an issue, try applying for some outside scholarships.<br>
there are some good private colleges that offer merit aid. just research. i don't know them off the top of my head.</p>
<p>Boston University offers a lot of merit based aid, from small amounts up to a 4-year full ride.</p>
<p>I know how you feel. My mother's fine with footing the bill if I make the Ivy cut, but if not... well, paying all that money isn't as worth it to her. Argh!</p>
<p>Remember that a lot is going to change between now and next April when decisions come in. You will change, and believe it or not, your mother most likely will as well.</p>
<p>As you're doing research on various colleges, educate your mother as well. If her opinion is uninformed, inform her! Talk about the various colleges, including the ones that offer merit aid. Talk about how to evaluate the curriculum and academic reputation of the schools. Talk about what your learning style is, and where you believe you would learn most effectively (LAC or large university? Middle university? Strong in science, or in humanities?). Oh, and while you're talking, don't forget to listen to her concerns as well.</p>
<p>Once you have all of your choices next April, including need-based and merit aid, you both can then sit down and evaluate your choices.</p>
<p>If you want your mother to understand, you're going to have to do the work to help her.</p>
<p>As others have said, one thing your mother needs to understand is that private is not necessarily more expensive than public. There are many private schools that offer decent merit aid to attract good students, and for students with higher EFCs, this merit aid can often lower the college cost so that is comparable to that of a good public university (often, families with higher EFCs receive little aid from public universities). So you really cannot evaluate the cost until after you have seen the financial aid package each school offers.</p>
<p>For example, last year when S was applying to college, our EFC was $13,000. S's GPA was around 3.2, SATs in the low 1300s so a good student but certainly not stellar. S was acccepted at our flagship public university (safety), with a cost of attendance around $19,000 including room/board, but received no merit aid/grant, just a few thousand in student loans and work study. He was also accepted at his first choice, a smaller second tier out of state private university that costs twice as much, but he received a 4-year merit scholarship and grant that covered half the cost, and because this brought down the cost so much, he was able to go there at roughly the same cost as the state school. One LAC he applied to even ended up being less than the state school (but was not a good a fit due to his major).</p>
<p>Mimi, your mom sounds a lot like my husband did last year. I had done a lot of research on the subject for my work (I'm a freelance writer) and I knew that there are many private colleges and universities that offer great merit aid packages to good students. You can find out a lot about them just by searching this website to start, on threads about good merit aid. </p>
<p>For my own son, who is attending this fall, I have a spreadsheet that compares the yearly cost given the aid packages offered to him. Right now, he has a substantial merit aid package (along with a small student loan) from a very good private university that will make it the same cost as attending a State school. State schools usually offer very little in the way of merit aid.</p>
<p>You might ask your guidance counselor to have a meeting with you and your mom so he could give her some facts. Sometimes it's less threatening to a parent to have an adult who has the facts present them. Your guidance counselor may also have some great suggestions for merit-based schools.</p>
<p>What I had to remember with my husband (who can be very stubborn, and who at one point was insisting that "there is no way we can afford college for him") was not to engage in argument about it. You sound smart, so do some research, try to identify good merit aid schools that you would like to attend, and work on meeting the requirments for merit aid. Basically you'll need the best standardized testing scores you can get, good grades, great recommendations and some interesting ECs. It's not easy but it can be done. </p>
<p>Please PM me if you'd like some more information. You are a very good writer, which is definitely a plus for all of those scholarship applications. Good luck!</p>
<p>You might want to consider schools that give merit aid and the opportunity to compete for full scholarships. Our daughter applied to several schools, all LACs and 1 public univ. Some used only the FAFSA, but most either had their own fin aid paperwork or used the Profile. She received merit $ from most of the LACs that along with grant $ and subsidized loans that equaled our EFC (what we are to pay). The public univ costs are the same as our EFC, so no $ there. So, no matter where our daughter decides to go, our cost will be the same, at least for the first year. I had no idea that a private college that costs more than $37,000 would end up only costing us what a state school would. Please do not let $ stop you this early in the process. </p>
<p>One school did not give her merit $, but their grant $ was equal to merit + grant at other schools. Since grant $ is recalculated every year and merit is not, that gave us something to think about.</p>
<p>Another thing to consider: if your mom is willing to foot the bill for your top college, would she consider investing in a college consultant who could help you identify schools that would meet your criteria, and that would help you submit applications that had a good chance of getting merit aid?</p>
<p>I second Chedva. You should educate your mother. But you need to realize it is a negotiation. Your mother told you she would TRY to support you no matter what at your top choice. That doesn't sound to me like tuition is not an issue. Have a discussion about what she can/is willing to pay. Then start looking at options. LACs can be better choices if you have a good application package (grades/scores/ECs).</p>
<p>At least it isn't the ultimatium I am giving to both of my children...if they don't want the expense of loans...then they will have to attend whichever college I am working at when they start. Otherwise, they will have to find the funding themselves as I will not out PLUS loans when I can get them a Bachelor's Degree for free.</p>
<p>Nikkii, If I were in your position I would do the same. BTW, my H and I have no intention of taking out any plus loans. Our kids need to stick to what we can afford (not what a school thinks that we can afford--we said good bye to those schools with son #1, and he still had 5 schools to pick from).</p>
<p>I've heard that the U.S. Department of Peace offers an amazing scholarship to students who openly wish to wage war. I would send the department of peace a letter detailing your inner hatreds and desire to wage war regardless of whether such a desire is justified.</p>