Frustrated with my younger sister

<p>AAHHH I just want to throw something. She has no goals, aspirations, or ambition to do ANYTHING besides flip the channels on the TV remote. Seriously, that's all she does, all day. I bought her "The Perks of being a Wallflower" for Christmas, thinking that she'd actually listen to me and read it.......hasen't even touched it! GRRR. She's a freshman in high school for Pete's sake and she isn't worried about her GPA or anything. I told her that she should take the ACT, rolls her eyes. I'm a senior so I'm constantly trying to give her advice, but the only thing she finds interesting is the next episode of "Pretty Little Liars." I try to talk to her about life after high school, and the only thing she's bothered to mutter involves going to the local state uni and majoring in business. I don't want her to settle for that! I don't want her to settle for a "B" in history!! I care about her future! When she's flopped on the couch all day long, I don't know what to do! I've been through high school, I know the challenges she's going to face!!!</p>

<p>Advice????</p>

<p>Shut up and leave her alone. She’ll “come to her senses” by herself.</p>

<p>Mind your own damn business.</p>

<p>Similar boat as you. Little brother in the 7th grade who can’t seem to care about school and only hangs out with idiotic friends and plays his bloody guitar all day. And for some reason watches Supernatural all the time. When he finishes, he starts over. He angry because our parents will not allow him to go to a music school/uni or let him major only in music. I’m struggling to have him not settle for his D’s and F’s in math, since he definitely has the potential of an engineer, but if he keeps up his rate, I also predict he would be hopeless. The best I’ve seen is that he would probably consider going into medicine, but even that will probably require him to step up his math for undergrad.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, you’re going to need your parents’ support here. Talk to them and let them know you are genuinely concerned. She might just need some knowledge of the different possible careers she could go into. You might also want to make sure that she’s not worried just because she’s actually doing good in school.</p>

<p>@Spastic@Indigo: You guys are helpful. Please provide us with more of your wisdom.</p>

<p>She’s a freshman. Calm down. What does a freshman need to take the ACT for? She’s got plenty of time to worry about college in the next 4 years. No reason to start the stress early. </p>

<p>Besides, you can’t force her to do anything. It’s frankly none of your business if she chooses to watch tv all the time. It’s her life. She’s old enough to choose what she wants to do with her time. Honestly, you nagging her is probably motivation to NOT do what you suggest she do.</p>

<p>Success in school =/= success in life. Happiness means different things to different people. Getting a B in history will not ruin someone’s life. Getting bad grades in math does not ruin someone’s life. Majoring in music is not a bad thing, I know several people who majored in music and have been perfectly satisfied with themselves.</p>

<p>Quit trying to force your narrow world view onto others.</p>

<p>Ok, so how can watching TV 24/7 be a good thing? How is that going to help her in the real world? I’m trying to help her here, not control her life lol…</p>

<p>She’s a freshman… maybe watching a lot of TV isn’t good for her, but it’s none of your business. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. Nothing you do will have any effect on her unless she wants it to, so stop being a narrow-minded elitist and worry about yourself.</p>

<p>Stop being an overbearing sibling. It’s her life, stop trying to impose your beliefs on her.</p>

<p>Besides, she might write an essay on Pretty Little Liars that Harvard may find absolutely appealing.</p>

<p>I know you’re trying to help her, and I get that. It’s natural to want to protect siblings. My older brother is a total genius who’s going to an awesome college, but just isn’t putting in enough work to fulfill his potential, so I understand. But you can’t make your sister have the same academic desires that you do. <em>Plenty</em> of people get Bs or lower in high school and end up extremely happy, and even extremely successful. If you want to help your sister, encourage her instead of nagging and criticizing her.</p>

<p>rbouwens - you’re not your sister’s parents and you’ll be in college next fall. Enjoy your senior year, if you MUST say something, the occasional hint about how excited you are about your LAC may get her going. I saw younger children of friends who started thinking about what they needed to do when they realized that mom & dad were solely focused on them now that big bro/sis was off to college!</p>

<p>I am In the same situation! I am a senior and my little brother is a freshman. All he does is watch tv, hop onto the laptop, then runs along to play the xbox. I hate how he is doing this! He needs to focus in school. Just like your little sister he thinks a B is okay. And gives excuses like “oh, this class is just to hard.” when I know it’s not because he does the homework for it in the snap of a finger and the answers would be correct. I told him before he started high school I would help him get a 4.0 and when I tell him that now he just says “why should I get a 4.0 when you (me) didn’t get one!” That’s exactly why! I know how hard it is to apply to college without a 4.0 but I guess he will have to learn the hard way. My advice to you would be to just leave her alone about school. But at times tell her the difficulties that came when you applied to college. And when she gets home just be like don’t you have homework. That’s what I’ve been doing. It might work for you (hasn’t worked for my lost cause)</p>

<p>Stop being an overbearing sibling. I’m sure your sibling doesn’t appreciate you breathing down their neck.</p>

<p>I’m sorry but I agree with majority of the users here. She’s a Freshman. Being a Freshman is all about trying new thing and making mistakes. I made mistakes as a Freshman and didn’t listen to my parents. This year I learned that I need to step it up and do something about it. I think you need to let go and stop hovering over here. I have a sister too would watches T.V. all day. I’ll say things like this: “Do your homework”, “Do you have something else to do besides T.V.” Her answers are: “yeah”, or “whatever”. Then I leave her alone. I know that she’ll learn one day.</p>

<p>If I came across like I’m nagging, I really try not to. I really try to just “talk” to her. I only nag her about reading the book I bought her, because her excuse is that “she doesn’t have time to read it;” whatever!</p>

<p>I agree that you should respect her decisions about how she spends her time. However, you can still give her a push in the right direction by telling her of the major benefits good grades and going to a good college bring. But don’t try to force anything on her.</p>

<p>As a side note, some of the respondents are either only children or absolutely independent siblings. Telling OP “it’s none of his/her business” is not only completely unhelpful, but untrue. It’s perfectly acceptable to be concerned about siblings’ academic progress, and it’s a sign of love that OP wants his/her sister to have a successful future. Just because academics is not the only means to success does not mean it shouldn’t be emphasized. Why don’t you guys start telling parents that they should stop bothering their children about grades because it’s not the only way to success/happiness? Being related to someone does, in part, make it one’s business.</p>

<p>Many people bring up the saying about leading a horse to water, and I’ll admit that you can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead. :D</p>

<p>Tiger sibling much?</p>

<p>I have to disagree with most people here. I wish I had an older sibling to give me advice. I had to learn the hard way - and by that time it was too late (I had a terrible junior year).
Your sister might not care now, but when it’s about time to apply to colleges…
However, if you try to tell her this you will probably appear to be very annoying and condescending. Your sister probably does not see you as an authority figure.
Maybe you can get her studying by acting as an example. Whenever she sees you, make sure you’re doing something academic.</p>