I am moving into an apartment this year and was randomly assigned a roommate. This girl and I exchanged numbers and have been texting back and forth about utilities, who can bring what, and general interests.
When talking about our social lives and going out and such, she asked me if I smoke (I do not, and I told her so). she responded that she smokes pot “very often”. I told her that while I do not care what she does, I am not okay with her smoking in the apartment or having marijuana in the apartment. She did not respond after that. What do I do? I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to say I don’t want pot in our apartment, because obviously it’s illegal and I don’t want to deal with any possible repercussions. Should I wait for her to respond, try to switch roommates, or something else? I honestly do not give a crap about her drug habits as long as they’re nowhere near me or my living space.
If she won’t respond, change roommates.
Ask to change roommates now before school starts. What if she hides her stuff in your belongings and the room is raided?
Well I seriously doubt that she would try to hide her pot in my belongings, or that I wouldn’t notice if she did.
My question is, if she does happen to have drugs in her room in the apartment that I don’t know about, can I get in trouble for that?
First of all, I wouldn’t assume that she - or one of her friends - wouldn’t hide something, perhaps in the back of your closet. If it’s paraphernalia, as opposed to drugs itself, you might not smell it. Drug users may not always be the most thoughtful people.
If drugs are in her room, you probably wouldn’t have a problem, but if they are in a common area, you could be in trouble unless she admits that they are hers and exonerates you.
If one of my children came to me with your question, I’d have them change roommates immediately. Why spend time worrying about something that you can avoid?
I think that you sound really uncomfortable with this and the anxiety over it is just not worth it. Switch room mates.
Also, she could very well have an addiction. As someone with firsthand experience with said condition, I also would worry about her lying to you. Like, constantly. Of course, that speculation may be a little extreme–but I don’t think your consideration of moving out is. She doesn’t seem willing to honor the request you made in your last text. If it’s not too late, I would look into it.
Besides any legal issues, as a non-smoker the smell will overwhelm you. Change roommates immediately.
I seem to be in the minority here, but I think you’re blowing this way out of proportion. For most people, marijuana use is less disruptive than alcohol or tobacco use. It’s becoming more and more ubiquitous and, in many places, is on the road to legalization. This girl is not a heroin junkie.
That said, she WILL have marijuana in the apartment (where else would she keep it?) and she will continue to use it. If you’re not comfortable with this, switch roommates.
@Knittergirrl is correct. I think this is blown way out of proportion and edges on unreasonable(I’m not going to discuss this part, I know it is illegal and I also know that it is extremely prevalent on college campuses).
However, knowing lots of people and being around lots of people who smoke. I can tell you for certain that she will not oblige to not having it in the apartment.
Since it makes you uncomfortable, ask for a new roommate.
I agree this has been blown a bit out of proportion. Marijuana use is becoming more and more “normalized” and even in states where it is illegal I don’t think the police make a practice of going after people who are using it on a personal basis. That being said, I had a roommate who was a regular, constant user and while I really liked her a lot, that odor lingered and was always noticeable to me. Also as a result of her marijuana use, she was very lethargic and slept a lot- it was a bit frustrating. I would try to switch roommates if I were you- it sounds like a matter of incompatibility.
I would have a problem rooming with someone who smoked cigarettes - even though it’s not allowed in the dorm, the smell gets into everything. While I don’t find the smell of pot as offensive, it’s still something I wouldn’t want my apartment to smell like. Is this a shared bedroom situation or do you each have your own rooms? I really wouldn’t want my bedroom smelling of pot.
And I wouldn’t want the risk of being roommates with someone who kept an illegal substance in the apartment. Even if it is the roommate’s pot, some schools have honor codes and not reporting knowledge of an illegal activity could violate the honor code. And do you want to potentially be in the position of having to PROVE it wasn’t your pot?
That said, I’m not sure how you phrase the request to change rooms without ratting out the current roommate.
I wouldn’t want to live with a smoker of any substance.
It’s easier never to have that person in your life than it’ll be to get her out of your life. Switch now before it becomes a bigger pain to do it.
I see no upside to having her as a roommate, and frankly, she’ll see no upside to having you as her roommate, either-she’s looking for someone who shares her lifestyle because she shared that info with you, and either she’ll resent you for not letting her smoke pot in the house, or she’ll try and get you to join her.
Since it’s illegal, she’s not going to be standing out on the porch in the rain with a bong. She’s going to be doing it in your living room.
The pot smoker is probably switching roommates right now.
Given the rate at which college students smoke weed at many colleges, I’d guess one’s chances of getting a weed smoking roommate to be about 50/50.
If the apartment is own by the school, it is highly likely that the housing contract forbids smoking of any kind. It could put in in an awkward situation if someone report the smell. If it is a privete apartment, you might risk your damage deposit if extra cleaning needs to be done to remove the smell.
Another thing is that smoke/smells travel. If anybody nears you has asthma, it will cause them serious health problems. If I was asthmatic I would not hesitant to report someone that was causing me to have serious reparatory problem. I am not kidding. Pot smoke can send my daughter to the ER.
I would find a new roommate. Not everyone (think future friends) want to be around smoker of any type.
I don’t really see how it’s being blown out of proportion. If you’re not comfortable with something going on in your place of living, you should be able to voice that.
I’d switch room mates or contact them again and see if you can get a response with regards to not having it in the room.
@noname87 Weed smoke really doesn’t stick to things like cigarettes do. If you smoke in a closed room it will stink for a few hours, but it’ll be gone by the next day. There’s no way you’d lose your damage deposit from smoking weed in your apartment; if you rubbed ash into the carpet, sure, but definitely not from the smell alone.
I don’t think the reaction here is blown out of proportion given the “very often” description. “Occasionally” or “sometimes” would be different. Yes, get a different roommate. Having a room that “stinks for a few hours” “very often” is a bit much if you are not participating also.