<p>Creative, I commend you for having sufficient regard and respect for your child(ren) that you are willing to loosen up on the restricitons on gaming. I believe that in the long run this will lead to a better result.</p>
<p>amazingness - there is some irony here isn’t there? Students and parents on the opposite side of the argument from where you would expect them.</p>
<p>That is because you have two parents (creative and pan) who have themselves reached a critical mass of wisdom and maturity…They respect their children and can relax about something so silly as gaming.</p>
<p>thinks old Pan is having some fun.</p>
<p>Please elaborate, fif.</p>
<p>I’m always the contrarian. Really, it’s a curse.</p>
<p>Right off, here’s a big IF: “if you have chosen motivated, focused and mature young people…” Most prep students live at home before entering boarding school. Their schedules at home may be very tightly supervised by their parents. Heading off to boarding school is a large gamble, no matter how mature a parent believes their child to be.</p>
<p>I’ve known many smart people in my life. The characteristic “smart” is often combined with self-confidence, energy, creativity, curiosity, and arrogance. Common sense? Eh, not so much. Being smart, motivated, focused, mature, yada yada, is no protection against being a risk taking adolescent–and it is no protection against depression, mental breakdowns, or addictions. A short perusal of the history of the greatest geniuses the human race has produced argues against them all being able to resist temptation. What do the students say? Oh yes, “work hard, play hard.” </p>
<p>I think it’s interesting that the students are tending to think that it would be a healthier environment in the dorms if gaming devices were banned. They’re younger–and I think they have a better view of the personal destruction this technology is wreaking for some of their peers. </p>
<p>It’s known that some students develop addictions to alcohol and/or drugs during their high school career, no matter what sort of school they attend. No one would propose to allow students to keep alcohol and illicit drugs in their room, even if the laws permitted their use. I think easy access to gaming consoles, for some students, could be just as destructive as easy access to alcohol. I also think that there is no way for a parent to be able to predict how their child will function in a boarding environment. It’s a leap of faith we take. For some, it works splendidly. For others, it’s the worst step we could take.</p>
<p>Ummm, you seem level headed and your argument is so simple-minded and repetitive that fif thought (thinks) you were joshin’.</p>
<p>Periwinkle, I don’t disagree with any of your comments, yet I still think an outright ban is wrong. Give kids the freedom to use them responsibily and take them away from the kids who can’t rather than restricting all right from the start. Personally, I would be unwilling to let my child bring a gaming system to school until he/she proved they could handle themselves academically and otherwise there first. Then, once I, not the school, allowed it, if I saw grades slipping or indications that lack of sleep was affecting performance either in academics, sports or any other aspect of BS life, I would yank it right back home. Of course, the child could go use someone else’s. But if some student can manage academics with a little gaming during free time, more power to them.</p>
<p>Many kids will spend time watching movies on their computer and many kids eat way too much junk food when Mom isn’t around to supervise. Should those items be banned too?</p>
<p>fif: I thought Periwinkle’s argument was excellent, myself. If you’re talking about Pan’s, though, okay.</p>
<p>Restricting access is not the solution. If a kid is bound to overdose on gaming, then there is something wrong with the kid, and all the restricting in the world will make not an iota of difference. If a kid wishes to find drugs or alcohol, he or she will find them; there is nothing that we can do to prevent it. Once kids are thirteen or fourteen or fifteen, we parents have made them what they are. At that point we have either succeeded or failed. If we have given them sufficient caring and love and reassurance and security such that they have the constitution to sail through the storm, then they will. On the other hand, if we have failed them, then they will turn to drugs or alcohol or addiction or whatever other self-destructive pursuit is readily available.</p>
<p>Kids will experiment, as we all did. Good kids will and bad kids will. Mature ones, focused ones, intelligent ones, all will. With drugs, with alcohol, with sex, with gaming. It is normal. But the kid with the proper constitution and character, derived from years of life at home and with family and around the love of family, will set his or her limits. And those self-imposed limits will be applied with a severity and schedule such that a productive adult emerges at the other end. We fool ourselves when we believe that externally imposed restrictions somehow promote healthy development. By the time boarding school is reached a kid either has it or doesn’t.</p>
<p>I agree with most of your parenting references, but, while I think it’s pertinent to mention that I’m very liberal and I believe in giving people chances, I’m just not sure a demanding prep school environment (where kids get upwards of five hours of homework plus EC commitments to deal with) is the right place to let kids have game consoles in their rooms.</p>
<p>Clearly it hasn’t hurt Andover as it is, without a doubt, an extraordinary school - I just think that on something like games consoles, there must be restrictions. You mention that if you’ve parented the kid well, they’ll make the right decisions, and that if you haven’t, there’s nothing you can do for them - that they’re doomed to drugs and alcohol and indiscriminate sex - and GAMING! Well, there’s rehab - and maybe prep school rehab should be restricting game console use to the common room.</p>
<p>pan1956, I respectfully disagree. There are a few things we need to consider:
- The commercially successful video/computer games were designed to be addicting. Exposure to it frequently in a short period of time WILL get many addicted sometimes even with an adult. Interruption and exclusion are key to prevent it from becoming an addiction or break it off.
- There is a reason for age limit for certain things. While it’s debatable, the age limit for drinking (without limit at least) is 21. I am sure this is not the only reason, but it is believed that once you pass a certain age it is not as easy to develop an addiction, or it’s easier to get rid of that addition if developed.
- The debate comes down to different philosophies on control. Should there be a gun control for example? Would easy access make a person more susceptible to certain behaviors? I personally think it does make a big difference. Apparently most boarding schools agree. </p>
<p>Kids of this age haven’t developed the kind of maturity you are talking about. It is still in the making. FYI, on Andover revisit day I specifically asked this question. No, no TV or game consoles in dorm rooms. They will be in the common room.</p>
<p>Thanks for the info, watertester. I wish I had been to revisit day!</p>
<p>I have no opinion about and make no reference to any school’s policy. I don’t care about Andover’s policy. Why does everyone reference Andover? I AM TALKING ABOUT FIRST PRINCIPLES. If you believe a kid is “focused and mature and motivated” then why in the world would you turn around and restrict his or her access to entertainment? Because either you do not believe it in the first place, or you have the policies in place to placate the parents. Please, please, stop bringing up specific schools. I am talking about general first principles!</p>
<p>Creative hit the nail on the head with the SPS motto: FREEDOM WITH RESPONSIBILITY. You cannot have one without the other. Kids need freedom in order to be responsible and responsibility in order to be free.</p>
<p>Take my word for it - I am a 10th grader. Motivated, yes, but perfect, no. I would be so tempted by that game console sitting by my desk as I sat trying to write a paper…</p>
<p>Tom, you must not have much faith in yourself. Were you my son, I would recognize your accomplishments and allow you the freedom to make your own choices, knowing full well that they would be the correct ones. You deserve to play your Guitar Hero.</p>
<p>Haha, yes, I do, and thanks ;)</p>
<p>And I do have faith in myself, just not a lot of restraint when it comes to things like this. For example, I told myself I would go and take a shower and continue to study for my AP European History exam that I have coming up on Friday - 20 minutes ago. Well, here I am still posting. But after I hit post on this, I’m going. Promise!</p>
<p>I just think that if I really felt the need I could just go downstairs and play in the common room until 10 when my DPs would come and tell me to get my butt in gear and to go do my homework… Rather than being able, hypothetically, to just go back to my room, turn on the XBOX, and continue late into the night, turning off the console and covering myself with blankets whenever I heard someone walking down the hall. You know? Because I wouldn’t necessarily put that past myself on a bad day ;)</p>
<p>Pan1956, maybe you have seen my post but I don’t think you READ it, other than the reference to a specific school, which was FYI because that question was asked earlier. You are entitled to your opinions. I can tell you that smarter kids are easier to be attached to games because they can enjoy the sophistication and the fun of a well designed game more. They can stay in the game longer without having to start all over. If it has ever been a problem with your kid, you’d have a new perspective. I barely heard of any parent of boys has the same opinion as yours about video games.</p>
<p>What is so very peculiar about my opinion?: IF A CHILD HAS DISTINGUISHED HIMSELF OR HERSELF IN SCHOOL AND HAS REACHED A LEVEL OF MOTIVATION AND MATURITY SUCH THAT THE MOST SELECTIVE SECONDARY SCHOOLS IN THE US ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT THAT CHILD, THEN THAT CHILD IS LIKELY WORTHY OF THE FREEDOM TO MAKE HIS OR HER OWN DECISIONS ABOUT GAMING. FURTHER, THE ACT OF GIVING SUCH A CHILD THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE IN RELATION TO GAMING IS REFLECTIVE OF RESPECT AND HIGH REGARD FOR THE CHILD. What is so unusual or counterintuitive about this opinion?</p>
<p>“What is so unusual or counterintuitive about this opinion?”</p>
<p>…The fact that when applied to a body of 1,100 students, there are bound to be several (or even quite a few) that abuse the privilege until it bleeds out of every opening on its face.</p>
<p>I completely agree that kids who are so above average deserve some kind of reward (if that’s what you’re getting at) but I think that this kind of privilege can end up being more of a curse, even to the best of us. While it’s always annoying to have to cater to the “lowest common denominator” of us, the ones who will play video games a little more than we should, given the opportunity, it’s necessary for the success of that lower common denominator.</p>
<p>Again, I agree that extra privileges should be bestowed on people that have proven worthy. I’m just not sure that a games console in a dorm room is a way to achieve that. How about allowing the kid to have a fridge? I’d kill to have access to a cold Vitamin Water at my every convenience…</p>