Gay College Students

<p>What has your experience been like so far? Is there a large LGBT population at your school? Do they stick together? Is your LGBT group politically active or is the group's focus strictly social? Are there a lot of closeted people (on that note, how is your gaydar doing)? How receptive are the students and administration? Any funny/awkward/alarming stories to tell? Crushes on anyone? </p>

<p>Basically, I'm interested in finding out about your overall experience, so you don't have to follow the format above (I'm simply trying to put my own experience in the context of others'). Yes, certain things remain essentially the same for gay and straight students, but I'm especially interested in how your being gay has influenced your experience (because I'm sure that it has).</p>

<p>Also indicate the school you attend or the geographic region. Thanks.</p>

<p>Two of the hottest guys at my school last year were gay. I was so depressed that they'd never be interested in me.</p>

<p>to actually put something helpful in my response--
Boston, Philadelphia, and NYC are good locations for gay students, in my opinion at least.</p>

<p>What about San Fran?</p>

<p>Definetly San Franciso or NYC.</p>

<p>HUUUUGE gay community at UCLA.</p>

<p>I'm in Oklahoma City, and there is a huge gay population at my school. Like, at least half the guys here are probably gay, which is a shame, because they seem to be some of the best looking guys on campus. And they don't seem to "stick together." And I'd say most of them are out. We do have a GSA, though it hasn't been around for the past couple years. It's coming back this year, but I think about half the people in it are straight.</p>

<p>I'm gay but not in college yet...I'm wondering all this myself...but I guess I'll find out next Fall!</p>

<p>I really hope I end up going to a school with a visible gay community that sticks together in some ways. It sucks being in highschool with all straight friends, and watching them date and do things you can pretty much only dream of when you've only met one gay person ever.</p>

<p>Iowa City has a higher number of gays per capita than SF and NYC</p>

<p>Lower amount here in Ames</p>

<p>My school has a huge LGBT population. They're not very active, though (the actual lgbt group)</p>

<p>UT Austin has a pretty big gay community. Of course with as many students as we have, we have a pretty big everything.</p>

<p>I think a lot of it depends on a gay person's personality and how comfortable they are with themselves, because I'm gay, and I'm not a very social person(in the sense that I won't go up to a person and start a convo randomly), so naturally I feel awkward being myself, let alone being my regular gay old self(like how i am with my close friends) to a complete stranger or to one of the guys.</p>

<p>There are other gay guys in my school who are flamboyant and who are comfortable with themselves, and I've seen them walk/talk/drink/smoke next to each other and befriend and actually be good friends with straight guys and girls(what gay guy isn't good friends with girls). I'm actually quite jealous because i wish i was the type of gay person who could be myself around straight guys or guys in general.</p>

<p>So it all depends on the person i think.</p>

<p>I attend school in Los Angeles.</p>

<p>I'm one of the few, the proud--a bi guy (slight male preference) at a school in the rural midwest.</p>

<p>I don't really have anything to do with the GLBT groups at my school, but they do have a presence. Admittedly, there really aren't that many of us--more gays than lesbians, more bisexual females than anyone else, and one or two transgendered students. At most, there are maybe 50 openly GLBT students (out of 6000) and probably many more still in the closet.</p>

<p>My gaydar is still right on target... for guys, at any rate. One of my good friends is a lesbian and I had no idea until she got a Facebook.</p>

<p>I wouldn't want to be flamboyantly out here since it's such a conservative area. The students might not be awful, but the townies are awful.</p>

<p>Open heterosexuality disturbs me just as much as "open gayness." Keep it in the bedroom, folks.</p>

<p>I'm straight, but there's a great LGBT community at Brown. The Queer Alliance sponsors social groups, support groups, and politically active groups. A lot of people are out on campus, especially gay men... some of the most attractive men I know here are gay (unfortunately). Although the campus is not completely devoid of prejudice, I'd say it's a pretty positive environment for LGBT folks and allies (horay!).</p>

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HUUUUGE gay community at UCLA.

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<p>You wouldn't know one until you came to Berkeley...</p>

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Do they stick together?

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<p>Yes they do - by throwing lots of kick ass parties.</p>

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Are there a lot of closeted people (on that note, how is your gaydar doing)?

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<p>Here there doesn't need to be.</p>

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Is your LGBT group politically active or is the group's focus strictly social?

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<p>I think you mean groups - we have tons of them (Asian Gays, the famed double minority group). Politically active? Since when is a group in Berkeley NOT politically active?! </p>

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Any funny/awkward/alarming stories to tell? Crushes on anyone?

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<p>The gays I know are mostly playful, and are serious only in strict homosexual environments. There's almost no friction between gays and heterosexuals.</p>

<p>I attend a Jesuit university in Chicago, and I'm happy to report that I've encountered very few cases of homophobia on campus. There's only one homophobic person on my floor (of ~36 guys), and we don't even see each other, so I'm not bothered at all. And when we do, we just don't say anything. Simple as that. How do I know he's homophobic? by the comments he blurts out during floor meetings, the stories he tells, etc. Oh god, he's annoying. As for the other guys on my floor, they might throw occasional jokes but in good spirit. They developed this habit though that I find somewhat annoying. Whenever I bring a guy to my room, they say "oOoOoO" as though we're going to have sex or something (my room faces the common area). It started out as a joke the first time, but it has grabbed on.</p>

<p>The majority of the other students aren't homophobic, or at least they won't show it to you (hopefully, they're the same behind your back). In fact, from my experience, homophobia is more prevalent in the general public. Once, I was browsing the gay magazine section at a bookstore and this man called me a [name] from the other side of the shelf ). At first, I thought he was just thinking out loud about the magazine he was reading, but all of a sudden, I heard "What's wrong with you, [offensive name]" I was so appalled that he went out of his way to say those things in public (he picked the wrong person to pick a fight with, I tell you) that I almost blurted out this entire spiel and caused a scene. But, I decided that the best and quickest way to make him feel stupid (while also allowing me to conserve the small amount of energy left in me that night) was to ignore him, so I pretended that I was so into the magazine I was reading that I didn't even hear his comment. Basically, I treated him like one of those people who talks to himself. I also went back to the gay magazine section and started browsing again. He left soon afterwards. I triumphed at making him feel unimportant.</p>

<p>I would say that there are a lot of gay guys at this school. Maybe part of the reason they flock here is because of the 66/34 female/male ratio (greater possibility for female friendships?). I would also say that half of them, if not the majority, are closeted, so no, most of the gay people here don't stick together. I see way too many guys hanging around a group of girls (I admit, I do this too...). It's kinda funny how very few gay guys hang out together, well... except when watching America's Next Top Model. Lol, I was invited to an ANTM party and couldn't decide whether to go to it or to the Halo tournament on my floor. My friend and I decided to go to a cafe instead to study. I would've liked to attend either one, but I had a lot work to do and didn't want to fall behind. Besides, I don't think my friend would've liked the ANTM party (nor the Halo tournament for that matter). It's really funny that the guy who organized the ANTM party doesn't seem at all like the kind of person who'd be interested in such a show. He seems like a demure Catholic schoolboy.</p>

<p>My "friends" right now (in quotes, because only time can tell if our friendship of 5 weeks will become long-term) consist of 3 girls and two guys. The person I hang out with most is a guy from my floor (the openly gay guy is in a different dorm, so I see him less often). We have similar priorities and goals, part of which is our desire to transfer out: he to UChicago and I to Northwestern. Not that we don't like the school we attend now... we're simply looking for a richer experience. He could be gay, but I'm reluctant to ask. On his Facebook profile, nothing is indicated (this is a strong indication of yes, right? otherwise, he would've put "women"). Anyway, this information is not crucial for me to know at this point. He looks like one of those great Russian authors with messy hair; in other words, he reminds me of a UChicago student. He says I look like a hybrid of a UChicago and Northwestern student-- I don't really have an image of what one looks like. As for my other friends, I like the fact that the openly gay guy is very subtle about his sexual orientation (as am I, though I don't have a problem with flamboyant gay guys.. they're amusing). Yes, we talk about gay-related stuff (esp. when we first met) and we're close simply because of our shared experiences, but gay topics don't dominate our conversations. In fact, I'm more interested about his farmlife and he about my insight on different topics. The only difference in my relationship between the two guys is that I can talk about guys with the latter, though not very often even. I do that with my girl-friends. One of them has a tendency to fall for gay guys to the point where she no longer finds the situation funny. In the streets, we pretend to be bf/gf, while I give her advice on who's gay or straight (I have an excellent gaydar). We often get caught giggling when looking at some guy she's interested in... the guy often gets puzzled (I laugh because she's very blatant in asking me whom I find attractive). It's so funny. I love when we do this. In return, the girls give me fashion advice. I admit... I was a little hurt when they said that for a gay guy, I had bad fashion sense (comparing me to their gay friends in HS who had "flawless" taste in clothing). They thought that as a gay guy, <em>I</em> should be the one giving them fashion advice. *sigh. I secretly thought that my fashion taste was exquisite, but apparently, I dress like a middle-aged guy. So, they take me shopping, which is fun when I have the money to spend. They think that I should emphasize the "gay nerd" vibe that I supposedly give, but I think I prefer the hippie look: dark pants, t-shirt, maybe even a 5 o'clock shadow (though it takes me weeks to grow just a few short strands)-- since I'm an activist, you know.</p>

<p>The administration is very receptive. My university was recently selected to host the Jesuit LGBT Conference this summer. Our funding request is likely to be approved, according to the leaders. The administration also approved a proposal to have a "safe space" and a peer counseling group for LGBT students. My anthro professor also addressed the gay "nature vs. nurture" debate on the first or second day of class. He claimed that biology is a major factor, together with the environment, in shaping one's sexual orientation (this is what the majority of evidence suggests). This girl in my class raised her hand disagreeing with the professor, so of course, my hand shot up in the air along with several others' (this was a class of 200-- only a few others raised theirs). Hmm, we quickly settled that one, but the girl still refuses to engage in a private one-to-one debate with me. </p>

<p>As for awkward stories, I definitely have one. During orientation, I played ping pong with this one guy, we talked in the context of a group, and then separated ourselves from the group to go some place on campus he'd never seen before. Fast forward to today, we're no longer on speaking terms. It's quite funny actually... Whenever we see each other, we go in different directions pretending that we never did. I think I misread him BIG time, though I refuse to take all the blame. I interpreted our closeness (when walking) and our glances as a sign that he was interested in me. We stared at each other for about 20 seconds (which is a long time, if you think about it), but apparently, I'm just a little brother to him. Sigh* I feel stupid.</p>

<p>correction: *occasionally throw jokes (not throw occasional jokes)</p>

<p>What would you say to the idea of a gay a cappella group?</p>

<p>Let's face it... most of the songs a cappella groups sing are love songs, and the songs usually involve heterosexual couples. I feel insincere singing those songs.</p>

<p>Not that I enjoy singing love songs.</p>

<p>I just counted the number of times I said the phrase "singing...songs" in post 17, and I'm not very happy with the tally. *I feel insincere singing them. *Not that I enjoy singing about love.</p>

<p>OK, much better.</p>

<p>Prompted by the TIME Magazine article on Billy Graham (from an old issue), I tried emailing him and got this response from the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (I didn't expect to hear from him directly, so I'm not disappointed). Just thought I'd share:</p>

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"You inquired about Mr. Graham’s advice and opinion regarding homosexuality. Mr. Graham shares with most Evangelicals the scriptural view of homosexual behavior. This is clearly presented in such biblical passages as Romans 1:24-28, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, and 1 Timothy 1:9-10, which recognizes that same-sex relationships fall short of God's plan. However, Scripture also declares that God loves people who are engaged in homosexual behavior just as He loves people who are engaged in any other kind of sinful behavior (John 3:16). God desires to forgive, heal, and transform them as they respond to the Gospel.</p>

<p>There is a distinction between homosexual feelings (attractions) and homosexual behavior. Homosexual behavior, including willful lust, is clearly condemned in the Bible. However, those who trusted in Jesus Christ are not condemned by God for involuntary feelings. All believers struggle with a variety of feelings which can lead to temptation--and even sin--if they are yielded to. Homosexual feelings are only one variety with which some struggle. God is all-powerful and is able to change a person as they yield to His love and care (Romans 12:1-2), regardless of the sin that person is involved in.</p>

<p>Many theories have been suggested as to how homosexual feelings or tendencies are acquired. Whatever the case may be, people with homosexual inclinations are usually not aware of choosing such desires. They discover them, to their own dismay, in the process of growing up.</p>

<p>Rather than our getting caught up in arguments about where these feelings come from, the Gospel invites everyone to find victory over sexual temptation and strength for the hard journey toward healing--being "conformed to the image of [Christ]" (Romans 8:29). And even if a person feels that they had an inborn tendency toward homosexuality, it would not follow that God intended it or that it was good. We live in a world broken by sin and its effects, in which all kinds of genetic weaknesses occur."

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<p>At least the Evangelicals (as interpreted by this association) don't dismiss science outright.</p>

<p>I think I'll go to church just to show my mother that I still have an ounce of humanity in me. Of course, even as an agnostic, I know that I do, but my mother seriously thinks that I'm falling by the wayside, and it's scaring me. So I'm doing this just to satisfy her (for show, in other words). I don't think she's really bothered that I'm no longer Catholic (maybe just a bit)... she simply wants me to believe in a higher power. I'm thinking about the Unitarian Universalist Church right now.</p>

<p>gianscolere, I am a straight Catholic. While I am anti-gay marriage, I am not someone who treats gays as inferior. My recommendation for your mom who is Catholic is basically to sit her down and tell her how you feel and that you are no longer interested in going to Church. Honestly, I think you have better ways to use your time than going to Church just to please your mom.</p>