This is an interesting topic. Just last night, my teen asked me how the war in ukraine affects us. I’ve lived through war in 1990s which has affected me profoundly in many ways, even 20 years later. Images from ukraine have caused flashbacks to return. My teen and I talked about it for a long time. She seed to stress out how important participating in US elections is, whether midterms, presidential etc. she’s also been curious about socialism before and has asked my opinion about it. She doesn’t parrot what young people are sold nowadays. She only wanted to know how it was living in a socialist country. No more no less. No one needs to be all doom and gloom all the time. Young people do not need more things to worry about.
One can realize that without lying awake, consumed by fear.
Who mentioned anything about fear? Being concerned about something is not equivalent to being fearful.
Many on this thread.
I’m with Bunsen on this - a thoughtful decision not to have kids based on environmental impact isn’t the same as making the choice out of fear.
COVID-19 pushed life expectancy in the US and many other countries downward: How does U.S. life expectancy compare to other countries? - Peterson-KFF Health System Tracker
Of course, what today’s young people in the US have seen in their lifetimes is:
- Long wars that eventually failed.
- Decreasing freedom in the US and around the world.
- Politics changing from “people who disagree finding a workable compromise” to “non-violent civil war”.
- Economic bubbles and busts.
- Climate change and lack of action on it.
- COVID-19, followed by mitigation attempts that were burdensome but not enough to prevent widespread sickness and death.
- An economy that requires more education that is becoming less affordable.
- An economy that appears to give all of its growth to the top 1% or 5% or so, leaving others in a zero-sum or negative-sum game.
In addition to your list I would add that our kids may live to see the end of western democracy and free and fair elections in our country.
I hope my pessimism isn’t validated but one thing is certain; anymore who isn’t concerned, isn’t paying attention.
Birth rate in each region all over the world has the highest correlation with the cost of raising a child in that region. The rising cost of higher education here may have something to do with the desire of some not to have kids.
Having kids nowadays is expensive and very hard work, in the US more so than in some other countries. Since 1st grade, I grew up as a latchkey kid, going to school and back by myself, heating leftovers for lunch and playing outside and doing homework until my parents came back from work. On summer breaks and sometimes on weekends, I was shipped to my grandparents who were relatively young and could help in rasing me and my sister.
The lack of safe spaces for the kids to play/be outside, the reliance on cars and the distance from close family makes rasing kids very time-consuming and exausting. Also, people are too busy. There were several young colleagues that had children recently during the stay-home times of the pandemics just because they could take a breader and have more time with their SO.
In my opinion, these reasons outweght the threat of Putin, or even global warming, for young people.
It might but European countries, the UK, China, etc….are experiencing dropping birth rates and college education is free or much lower cost than in the US. Many claim the costs of having/raising children in those countries is less as well but they’re still struggling with maintaining even replacement birth rates.
In the case of countries in East Asia, the cost of raising a child before college is much higher than in the US (on a relative basis). I believe South Korea is the highest, followed by some regions in China. Their birth rates are also among the lowest (Taiwan’s birth rate is the lowest anywhere).
The perceived lack of safety (presumably the perception of crime) today is in contrast to the actual drop in crime compared to a generation or two ago, when today’s parents were going to school and back by themselves.
But yes, the perceived need for constant parental supervision (sometimes enforced by local child protective services when 10-12 year old kids are found playing in the park by themselves) does increase the work that parents take on when they have kids.
I don’t know, I think geopolitical events will always be present. There’s always some major disaster that is lurking, you can’t predict the future. 31 years ago, I had to leave my infant son with a babysitter because my husband was deployed, and I had to fly tanks, explosives and body bags into the Middle East during Desert Storm. I wasn’t expecting that, but we all survived.
I suspect more of an issue now is housing affordability, and the fact that so many people are waiting much longer to get married. Or have girlfriends (can anyone help me out on that one)?
Way back when my kids were about 20, they said they weren’t having any children. One told me, “All kids do is use all your money.” Preaching to the choir, kid.
Now that they are much older and wiser (25 and 26), they are planning to marry and have children. One has picked out a lot of names. Girl names. I don’t think she realizes she might have a boy.
My mother has 10 grandchildren, ages 16 to 40, and no great-grandchildren. The oldest 2 aren’t having children, the next one isn’t married, and then there are 5 in their 20’s. Four of the 5 have partners, but not married and no plans to do so as yet.
I have two close friends who do not have children by choice. They don’t regret it. In fact I have quite a few college friends (from my sorority) who did not have children by choice. A few have step children. I would have regretted not having children.
My kids lived through 9/11 (they were in K), the entire Afghanistan occupation, stock market crash, moving twice in hs … life is tough. But they also got to be girl scouts, go to camps, go surfing in two oceans, go to college and now are starting careers or finishing grad school and getting to travel. Their lives aren’t so bad.
Ok so many responses are resonating . I just want to highlight what I hear from @busdriver11 and @twoinanddone… life comes in waves.
When kids are stuck learning algebra, we help them dissect the problem. When a pandemic hits, we advise how to proceed. When they think they can’t go on- for another second, for whatever reason- we tell them another morning will come.
Throughout our lifetimes and our kids’ lifetimes, we will deal with rolling hills. We all wrestle with an uncertain future- as parents, as citizens, as students, as humans. Maybe when our world experiences significant unrest, we can make sense and take action, however small? We can gain strength from conversation, from connection, from the understanding of our personal and cultural histories? And maybe that will have absolutely nothing to do with Russia’s war with the Ukraine or our future as a democratic nation or climate change.
But I think we’re doing a good job in getting the conversation started and for that I am grateful. Our world is a wild, chaotic place and we can do this, one wave at a time
In advanced economies in Asia, there’s also the matter of women wishing to pursue careers and not desiring to become traditional housewives. So, many delay marriage or some forgo it altogether.
That’s true in all advanced economies where women have better opportunities to pursue their careers. They delay marriage and/or childbirth, which cause them to have fewer children than they would have otherwise. Because they’re older and have more resources and better appreciation of childrearing, they tend to spend more on their children, which helps drive up the cost of raising children for everyone.
I hear my daughters talk about how to balance work and kids (but not my son!). However the decision about kids or no kids is almost entirely about climate and they see adoption as the most responsible way to raise kids.
How many of you would go back in time and choose not to be born because of world events? I wouldn’t.
Other people making the choice not to have kids means nothing to me, but I disagree that young adults today in some way have lived a tougher life than the generations before them.
It can all be true at the same time. The kids I know are cognizant of having lived an extremely comfortable life so far, yet also see that population growth WITHOUT significant lifestyle change on a large scale (resource usage, pollution, energy mix) is unsustainable. They are realistic about the political likelihood of such change in their lifetime. They do not feel a moral obligation to prioritize the desires of future potential offspring of their own blood (“I’d like to be born”) but do feel some obligation to prevent human suffering (including the suffering of those same potential future offspring, but also the suffering of those already born, those who will be born to other parents, and for some kids I know, to the condition of non-human species on this planet). Adoption has been mentioned - a worthy strategy, but not parenting at all is also a gentle strategy that should not be sneered at, in my opinion.