And so here it is. The moment when she’ll fly away from her nest. Are we ready? Not sure. Is she ready? Not sure. However, it’s a major milestone and we hope she has developed qualities that’ll hold her steady as she navigates the next few years on her own. Isn’t that what we did as well? Can’t believe how soon this has happened. Just wanted to jot down my thoughts as this occurs.
We dropped ours off on Monday. I was fine at first as her excitement was contagious. I fell apart yesterday. Miss her like crazy but she’s having a great time and seems to be adjusting well. I’m not ready to be an empty nester!
As our son begins his senior year of college, this is his eighth year starting school away from home. For me, it has gotten harder rather than easier each year as I contemplate the loss of my child to his adulthood, his childhood “stolen from us – not always in one momentous event but often in a series of small robberies, which add up to the same loss” (John Irving). College is certainly one of those robberies. He has faced each new step in this transition with confidence, competence, and even a bit of bravery. We are terribly proud of him, but there is still a child-shaped hole in my heart that reminds me of Emily Dickinson’s lost jewel:
I guess I’m waxing poetic today as I grieve the child I’ve lost at the same time I celebrate the man he’s become. There is something about the beginning of each new school year that brings these mother’s thoughts, mother’s tears for me.
Hugs to all of you who are facing this loss for the first time. I hope it gets easier for you.
Actually glad he’s headed back soon as I know how much he loves it and my wife and I enjoy thinking about all the great things he’s doing.
Also glad to have my car back!
It changes your perspective when you end up with an ill child who doesn’t finish college. I am very happy to see my younger two thriving in school! I know they don’t take their education for granted now, either.
“Children Are Like Kites
You spend years trying to get them off the ground.
You run with them until you are both breathless.
They crash … they hit the roof … you patch, comfort and assure them that someday they will fly.
Finally, they are airborne.
They need more string, and you keep letting it out.
They tug, and with each twist of the twine, there is sadness that goes with joy.
The kite becomes more distant, and you know it won’t be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you together and will soar as meant to soar … free and alone.
Only then do you know that you have done your job.”–Irma Bombeck
I clipped this out of the newspaper when my first one was very little. I still have it.
It’s always been a reminder you don’t have them forever.
But there is a reason that HOME is a major computer key in case of a needed “reboot”