<p>Hello, I am currently a sophomore in college, and my girlfriend is as well. I got to school in Alabama in and she goes to school in Georgia (our home state). We have been dating since freshman year of high school (5 years and counting) and she is the only person I have ever loved or dated. She is my best friend and I fully intend on marrying her. We talk frequently of marriage and our future life together. We are both Christian and believers in abstinence and we are quite committed to one another. </p>
<p>My question is why wait to get married until after college? I think it would be good to legally get married now, and then have a full fledged ceremony and everything after college like we planned. I'm talking just going to the courthouse and getting married on paper. Nothing else. We won't change our relationship, won't start living together, having sex, etc. We will even still call each other boyfriend/girlfriend. </p>
<p>If we did this we would be eligible for pell grants as our parents' incomes wouldn't count on our fafsa. I currently recieve no parental support for school yet get no money from the fafsa because they make too much (they just have high expenses due to medical bills and other things). Pell grants would certainly help each of us and I don't know why it would be a bad thing to go ahead and get legally married. </p>
<p>We could still stay on our parent's health insurance and car insurance, so what else is affected? </p>
<p>But really, any input here? You don’t have to agree with my religious philosophy or practice or anything like that. I was just trying to provide a full picture so that people wouldn’t respond by implying that we shouldn’t do it because of potential breakups. I want financial pros and cons mostly </p>
<p>Why would you still be on your parents health and auto ins if you were married?
What do your parents think about this?
Living at home while you attend college is probably the safest financially.
Why are you attending school out of state when money is so tight?
If your parents are not helping you with school or living expenses, how are you paying your bills?
How is your girlfriend paying her bills?
If you will be truly self sufficient, will pay for your own health & auto ins as well as the rest of your expenses, then I agree, you could marry to pool your resources, but living together rather than separately could save even more.</p>
<p>Is that a new thing?
I haven’t been paying attention to ins changes because ours hasn’t.
Then are the married kids dependent for taxes or how does that work?</p>
<p>Should married couples of any age be living off of their parent’s money, in any form, whether cash or health insurance benefits? </p>
<p>I have known of several young couples who married very young and still behaved as if they were just dating teenagers, and both sets of parents babied them and financially supported them. and, consequently, weakened their marriages. Those marriages did not last, and the only good news is that there were no children.</p>
<p>Don’t get married for Pell grants. "Kids, did I tell you the story of why I decided to propose to your mom? Well, it all started with Pell grants . . . "</p>
<p>If you are striving to live a Christian life, in particular, then don’t devalue your marriage right off the bat by making such a covenant before God just for taxpayer subsidies. Find an alternative way to afford college, preferably by the sweat of your own brow (nothing as appealing as a man who knows how to work and provide for his family.)</p>
<p>Honestly, you don’t sound anywhere near being ready for marriage, even a marriage where you would still call each other boyfriend and girlfriend and be married in name only. A really bad idea. Please don’t do it.</p>
<p>At this point, wouldn’t you only get about $5600 a piece per year? And so, for $22k you’d participate in a sham marriage. And don’t kid yourself - if you’re not having sex and still referring to yourself as boyfriend and girlfriend, it’s a sham marriage. That could possibly bring up legal questions of fraud (I have no idea, I’m just throwing it out there).</p>
<p>And ask yourselves honestly, are car and health insurance really the only support your parents are giving you? Who pays for your cell phone? Your clothes? Your food when you’re home? When a man marries, “he shall leave his father and mother.” Since by your own admission you’ll be accepting car and health insurance from them, you’re not really leaving them, are you? Yet you will stand before a judge and God will then hear you speak the words that you will love and honor this woman for the rest of your days. Just because your minister isn’t there, doesn’t mean you didn’t speak the words.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to be so harsh, but I think you have some serious self reflection to do before you can contemplate marriage.</p>
<p>Wow so much judgement here. This isn’t a typical marriage for convenience. This is a couple that has been together and plans on marrying. </p>
<p>I say go for it if you want, but understand everything that goes along with legal marriage. Just because you’re not living like you’re married doesn’t let you off legally.</p>
<p>Speaking as a pastor: could you really be comfortable with yourselves while living a lie? Either you are married or you are not. Your wedding day should be a day of happiness and excitement, especially given your vows of celibacy until married. I think you would feel a sense of loss and disappointment having a secret marriage at a courthouse, and maybe discomfort at a fake ceremony when you get around to the pretend wedding ceremony at church - and you would be lying unless you changed the ceremony to a renewal of vows. </p>
<p>A little bit of federal grants doesn’t seem worth the possible negative fallout on your relationship. Stay true to yourselves and be proud of the strong character that you have.</p>
<p>Another consideration is the fact that it is probably hard enough to remain celibate now. If you are married, it will be even more difficult, and odds are that you will end up having marital relations - after all, it would be perfectly acceptable and marriage without sexual activity is unnatural and against the Bible as conservatives interpret it. Given your religious views, I am thinking that you probably do not plan on contraceptives once you become sexually active. An unplanned baby would definitely complicate things and probably prevent your wife from completing her education.</p>
<p>People get married for money all of the time. Nothing new here. And people time their marriages for a number of financial reasons as well. Got kids in college, on financial aid and you are thinking of getting married. Well, you better think about the impact on financial aid because step parents income and assets go on that FAFSA and other financial aid forms, and that additional amount can bump you right into the full pay zone. </p>
<p>So if you are getting married for that PELL grant program, you had better v-e-r-y carefully check how it works, and what your parents and your SO’s will be losing when you marry in terms of things like dependent exemption, college credit, maybe Earned income credit. Check timing, check the rules, run the numbers, make sure your schools will recognize the independent status and not simply integrate the PELL into their aid packages (yes, some schools do that). Also, you had better understand what you and your SO are going to have to declare as income for the next year if you really are being supported by your parents. I don’t know the rules about this, so I can’t say, but if your parents pay for something when you are independent, you may have to include that as income the following year. Dependent students don’t since their parents assets and income are already in full consideration. You may need to show how you are making ends meet and if its from money others are giving you, that may figure in the aid equation.</p>
<p>Some couples hold off marriage because some financial situation make it an issue for fin aid where they could get LESS depending on the timing of the marriage. So don’t just assume it’s all good. Do your homework and find out what you actually will get.</p>
<p>Do understand that there are obligations and ramifications of marriage, legal ones, that come into the picture. I’m not even going into those, or into an moral issues. I’m being pragmatic here, and there are enough things just in that category to carefully research and consider.</p>
<p>As far as judgment goes, he asked for advice and framed his question with his own Christian code of morals. The Christian God sees all. He’s either married or he’s not. It’s not my judgment call. It’s the Christian theology to which he ascribes. </p>
<p>Yes, he would be married. I’m not sure that he really wouldn’t think so. I’m sure that if they did marry, they would realize how nutty it would be to still call each other BF and GF. </p>
<p>I don’t think the “Christian God” would care either way as long as they love each other and want to be a couple til death do us part. </p>
<p>As for the money…I don’t give a rat’s patootie about that. Since the beginning of time, people have “coupled” for financial reasons. People marry to get insurance (my uncle married my aunt so that she’d have insurance…they now have been happily married for over 30 years…2nd marriage for both), people marry for companionship, people marry to “live more cheaply as a couple” or whatever.</p>
<p>This isn’t fraud. They love each other. If their intent is to be together forever, there is no fraud.</p>
<p>I live in an area where people buy marriages all of the time. It’s a booming business as it’s the fast track to citizenship. </p>
<p>What I don’t understand is why you and SO don’t just get married now. Lots of married couples live apart. Why get married JUST FOR THE PELL GRANT, when you two are in a committed relationship. That’s the part I don’t get. You’ll both be in it for all of the legal ramifications, financial pitfalls and such, so why not fully get married. Your parents are going to have to be told or there could be tax issues and other things that may be affected. You can have a big to do whenever you want. Heck people are having second celebrations of marriages (or first) years after the fact. My brother married right before being shipped out to a combat zone for a number of reasons, and his wife’s family did the big whoop de doo celebration when he came back stateside, a year or so after his tour. Happens all of the time. </p>
<p>And if you do plan to get married, but would just rather get married now (and take advantage of a favorable Pell situation), nothing wrong with doing that. Consider the option of a small church wedding with only the immediate family. And discuss whether living apart is what you really want to be doing (that’s OK too) or if one of you would rather transfer so you can be in the same location. </p>
<p>Wow ok thanks for the responses, I would first like to respond by addressing many of the questions that were involved here,</p>
<p>My financial situation:
I pay for the following via scholarships, loans, and a small amount of summer/winter break income:
Tuition
Rent
Food
Books/Supplies including my computer
Entertainment (eating out, concerts, dates, etch.)</p>
<p>My parents pay for:
Car
Car Insurance
Health Insurance
Cell Phone Bill
Gas Money
Clothes </p>
<p>It’s kind of the opposite situation that many teens and college students face. </p>
<p>In this new situation this setup would not change, I would just take less loans as I would now get grant money. </p>
<p>As far as the marriage questions go. Our current plan is to get married after we graduate college, probably within the first year. If we were both working now and financially independent we probably would get married now, but then the parental support would likely stop. </p>
<p>That is why we aren’t getting married (fully) now. That is why if we get married on paper we would not treat it as if we were fully married (aka not live together, not have relations, etc). </p>
<p>I think what it comes down to is my belief that you get married in the church under God, and the law part of it is less important. This would be a marriage under the law without any of the ceremony part. Our ceremony and marriage under God would still come later (after I propose and we go through engagement and pre-marital classes and the whole process). </p>
<p>So I ask those who are saying I am would be living a lie, am I married because the U.S. government says I am, or am I married because I have made a lifelong commitment and promise to my wife and to the lord? </p>
<p>I currently receive no need based financial aid, I didn’t even fill out a FAFSA for this year because with my parents income all I would get is unsubsidized loans. I am an out of state student and no she would stay at her college in Georgia </p>
<p>I think it is fine to get married. Legally married. Just know that, and for tax purposes, you’d be married. Your parents and your inlaws would lose the dependent exemption ($3900), and would not be able to take the AOC, but you would get to take those.</p>
<p>Your parents can still pay for the items they pay for and it is not taxable as income to you. It is a gift, and well under the annual allowance for gifts. You can stay on their health insurance (the ACA expanded it to 26, but many states had it at 24 anyway, and it covers married children but not their spouse or children), and the car insurance is a private contract between them and the insurer, so that’s up to the insurer (many allow anyone related to share a policy, but watch where you declare you permanent home residence to be).</p>
<p>My niece just married her boyfriend at Christmas, but their wedding is in June. They needed to get married because he’s Canadian and is applying for citizenship, and it’s a timing thing that they wanted the wedding in June. You are not defrauding the government. You really will be married, legally, and how you live during that marriage, together or apart, is up to you. My sister and her husband have different permanent residences for tax purposes (he votes, registers his cars, etc at his home and she does it at her home).</p>