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<p>You’re married because you made a lifelong commitment and promise to your wife. If you want to get married, then by all means go ahead. But this nonsense about still calling yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend is where the deceit comes in.</p>
<p>You are married if you get your marriage license and get married on paper. That is ALL that counts other than on a personal basis. As to what your personal beliefs, your religion, your family, etc, that’s all personal. What you believe and consider, someone else may not, and those who don’t look at things as you do have every bit as much right as you in their considerations, BUT, all of us, everyone in this country is bound by the rules that define matrimony in terms of getting married civilly. No, it is not just a piece of paper. It is what is universally accepted and is what gives you certain rights and responsibilities. Anything else is just all in your head, and you can think as you please as long as you abide by the law. </p>
<p>But bear in mind that on your FAFSA, both you and your wife will have to list all the support that you are getting from your parents as unearned income. Any money your wife makes goes on the FAFSA as yours too, and vice versa. The same with assets. Also your parents and hers have to be told ,as they likely declare you two as dependents on taxes and may get other tax benefits like the college credit. </p>
<p>And for anything that comes up, whether you are married in you own mind or not, you are married. You are married when it come to answering that quesiton on any form for any purposes. No one cares or is interested that you don’t consider yourself married and yes, you would be living a lie if you got married–you do realize that you make certain promises in the marriage ceremonies even at the city clerk’s office and you swear certain things. So, yes, in the eyes of the law, the country and most everybody, you are married regardless of what commitment, promises you made to your wife and the lord. </p>
<p>What did your minister say about this idea?</p>
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<p>Puzzled why you’ve not first had this conversation with your parents and potential inlaws. Do they agree that a civil marriage wouldn’t ‘count’ for purposes of them continuing to offer both of you support? If not, that would be the end of considering this course of action. </p>
<p>So you want to get money from the taxpayers, so you tell them you are married but you want to continue to also get money from your parents so you will pretend you are not married.</p>
<p>Lying is always such a great way to start a life together.
And some wonder why religion has a bad name in some circles.</p>
<p>If you get married in a courthouse or anywhere else…using a marriage license and someone qualified to perform the ceremony in your state…you ARE really married. Period. You are FULLY married. Your living situation may not change but your marital stays WILL be MARRIED. Getting “married on paper” is GETTING MARRIED legally.</p>
<p>Having a religious ceremony is not the only way to FULLY get married. </p>
<p>Yes, you can do this. Your parents will no longer be able to declare you as dependents. Your tax filing status will be married filing jointly or married filing separately. </p>
<p>I would be honest with everyone. You will no longer be boyfriend/girlfriend. You will be husband and wife. Period.</p>
<p>It’s quite OK to go through with this marriage. I agree, both of your families need to be on board with this. They might NOT be. But you will not be able to keep this a secret…sorry, you won’t. </p>
<p>Just a couple years ago, you stated you will receive full tuition at GT, UGA & Alabama, plus a $1,000 award at UGA.
You also commented on both GT & UGA having the best programs, so Im wondering how you ended up in another state when money was so tight and when your serious girlfriend & your family remained in your home state?
If you want to get married, I think you should transfer to either GT or UGA, so you can consolidate expenses & behave like a legally married couple.</p>
<p>Because legally married couples never live in separate states/maintain separate households.</p>
<p>The OP and SO are both of age to get married without consent but if they think they can just do this and tell no one, including the parents, they are mistaken. As I, and others have mentioned, there could be tax ramifications, so the parents do have to be notified so that the IRS does not notify them, and they end up in trouble with their tax returns. IF they do get married, the parents may take a very dim view of doing this just to get PELL money; I would, and they might just pull the support they are giving since they are losing the tax benefits. Every time they fill out forms, when you and SO, are married, that has to be taken into account when certain family questions are asked. Yes, it does count for a lot of things when you are married, regardless of how the OP and SO think of it. You are married, baby, in every sense of the word, except maybe in your minds and your SO’s, and that 2 people vs the millions. Most ministers and churches will not marry individuals until they have the civil papers completed and meet those requirements, so you are married regardless of what you are thinking.</p>
<p>If parents don’t like the idea and pull benefits and support, it can be a bigger problem. Most folks have no idea how much support they are actually getting till they lose it.</p>
<p>Actually Romani. We know several married couples who DO maintain separate households in two different states. In three cases, this was forced due to a job opportunity for one spouse. The other spouse didn’t move. </p>
<p>Very interesting thread. To the OP, what you describe is a betrothal, or as we call it today, an engagement, but not a marriage. Unfortunately for you, the government does not grant any tax benefits or federal financial aid benefits for betrothed couples. If we lived in a culture where a betrothal was as legally binding as a marriage, and involved financial issues (dowries, or the future daughter in law moving in with the future in-laws prior to an official public wedding ceremony and consummation of the marriage), then perhaps our laws would reflect that. But we don’t. Marriage is not derived from the law, and a marriage license is just society’s way of officially acknowledging the marriage covenant and considering that personal covenant as a public contract, mostly as a way of protecting the financial interests of any children, or in the event of divorce. Yes, I know people want the law to define marriage, but I reject that and that is another topic for another website.</p>
<p>I have already shared that I think it is ill-advised to define marriage in financial terms, especially for someone who self-identifies as a Christian and has read all the scriptures about God’s plan for marriage. How people out in the world may define marriage is irrelevant to you, or ought to be.</p>
<p>That said, if you and your SO are confident that you are going to marry someday, then it is good for you to contemplate all of the pertinent issues. You both need to already be working together on your finances so that you both are making decisions that will put you both in good positions to start your married life the best way - debt free. Financial issues kill more marriages than adultery, so for that reason, talking about money is very important. Sit down and work on separate budgets (you should not combine your money right now) and then look at your separate budgets and see how your finances are going to come together. Make sure your budgets plan for becoming non-dependent on your parents’ money. And both of you should be minimizing your school debt and working towards degrees that will lead to paying jobs. If marrying for the sake of Pell Grants is something you are contemplating because you are short of money, then it sounds like you need some more intense financial counsel. Dave Ramsey’s materials are a good start.</p>
<p>Best of luck.</p>
<p>@thumper1 I was under the impression Romani was being sarcastic–hard to tell over the web, however. </p>
<p>Overall, marriage is a union between a man, a woman, God, and the government. Marriage for money isn’t a new thing at all. </p>
<p>That’s one definition. For Pell Grant purposes, it’s a union between two people, sanctioned by the government.</p>
<p>It feels to me like you really aren’t planning to tell your parents and you are not seeing the full ramifications yet.</p>
<p>If your parents don’t get told, then they would certainly still count you as dependents. That would be a red flag and they could be audited by the IRS. That means that they will have to pay a huge fine, plus the taxes owed, plus interest. This could be thousands of dollars…perhaps more than any Pell grant you got. </p>
<p>In case you think I’m exaggerating… Clear back in the early 90s, we knew a small business owner whose total in back pay and penalties came to over $6,000 that he didn’t have (had to borrow it). He had hired a bookkeeper who wasn’t a full CPA and she made a lot of stupid mistakes. The IRS didn’t care. And they won’t care if your parents didn’t know you were married. </p>
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<p>@thumper1 , Sorry it wasn’t apparent, but it was a sarcastic response to ek’s assertion that the OP should move. I know several families who do this. </p>
<p>I should add that personally I think Pell grants are a dumb reason to get married but A- it’s better than some reasons for marriage I’ve heard and B- people getting married for legal/financial purposes has been the “purpose” of marriage for far longer than “love”. I just don’t think the OP deserved some of the harsh responses. </p>
<p>My parents haven’t claimed me since I was 18 because they already get hit by the alternative minimum tax, so they don’t really get exemptions anymore (its a terrible law that needs repealing in favor of the FairTax legislation IMO). I talked to my girlfriend and she said her parents are not planning to claim her in this year either. So that’s not an issue so much either. </p>
<p>Just curious how this might affect your beloved’s financial situation. You state that you’re paying most of your own expenses now, but is she as well? If she’s still being claimed and getting financial assistance from her family, it might not work out so well for her.</p>
<p>Marriage also makes many people obligated for their spouses debts and liabilities, so tread carefully. I’d double-check that you can keep the insurance that you think you can. I have friends whose kids were NOT allowed to remain on family policies after they got married.</p>
<p>I’d be sure both parents and in-laws are OK with this, if you both are expecting them to continue to provide whatever financial (and other) support they currently are. In our home, if you marry, you are on your own and mom & dad won’t be paying your bills any more. This was the way it was when we were kids too. No one in our family got married until they could assume full financial responsibility of themselves and spouse.</p>
<p>Also, I’d double-check with them as to whether they are even interested in providing a “big wedding” and/or party after you graduate; they may figure if you get married now, why should there be a party some years later as a “wedding” or “reception.”</p>
<p>this really isn’t anybody else’s business. if these two determine they want to get married then get married</p>
<p>Because legally married couples never live in separate states/maintain separate households.</p>
<p>Why get married if you do not want to call each other your spouse, let alone behave like a married couple?</p>
<p>:-/ </p>
<p>Legal and financial benefits. Again, nothing new </p>