I don’t think BF’s parents expect, or want, graduation tickets though.
If your daughter was contemplating moving in with a boy, wouldn’t you want to know what his family was like, and, if the opportunity arose, wouldn’t you want to meet them??
Yes…but not at her college graduation.
Is this graduation imminent (like December 2022?) or is this for spring 2023? Because if it’s not soon I would hold off on a commitment for a while and see if GF or her parents reach out to you themselves….or find out if S is the messenger for them.
Did S mention this as an official invite or sort of just in passing “hey when GF grads in May do you think you’d be interested in coming??”
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I would confirm with your S that his GF as well as her family know of the plan and would like you at the graduation. If this is the case I would go. If it is not the case I would suggest making alternate plans to meet her parents and celebrate. Either way I’d send his GF a nice gift to commemorate the graduation.
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We only casually talked to few while at the events but some people had group lunches and dinners planned together with friends and their families. We declined to join.
We had his siblings and elderly grandparents with us so it was more of a family experience. If her parents were there, we sure would’ve made it a priority to meet them.
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It was more like a casual invite on his behalf but i’m sure she would love having us there and gladly arrange extra tickets. It wasn’t an official invite.
Why not? If everyone lives in a different state than isn’t it a good opportunity to meet them?
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Please read my reply upstream,. I explained why this would not be a good time to actually meet a BF or GF parents. I think it’s post 19.
But if the other parents want to make time to meet you during the graduation weekend, I would clear this with them…first.
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When D1 graduated, she and her BF have been dating for 1.5 years. D1 invited his parents to come to her graduation party and a dinner, but not to her actual graduation ceremony (because it was boring). The BF’s grandfather was a professor at the school, they used it as an excuse to visit the parents. But I think they came because their son asked. Hindsight it was a good decision.
I would ask your kid if it’s what the GF and him want. If so, I would go.
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Still asking when this event is going to occur. If it’s not until spring I would let things play out a bit and see if anyone from GF’s family reaches out - unless the ticket thing is imminent.
Also you mention your S mentioned it casually……has HE checked with GF???
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Could you clarify something. Is your son inviting you to the actual graduation ceremony…or is there a party, dinner, luncheon…or something more social he would like you to attend.
He just said at the airport that he would like us to come to her graduation and meet her parents. I said let me check with your dad and get back to you.
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I’ll ask.
Definitely get more information before you decide.
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So DS asked his parents to graduation to meet parents…is he contemplating proposing at that time and would like them there? Do her parents prefer engagement prior to moving in together?
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This is so interesting to me. Our S recently got engaged after dating 5+ years. At the time, he had met only her aunt and not her mom nor her sibs. She had met us several times and some of our relatives but not D, even though they were in same city as D several times. They were both finally in HI and she and D finally met and she met the extended family and attended a wedding of my nephew S’s cousin who lived in DC with his fiancée.
S finally did meet more of fiancée’s family when he attended a wedding near where fiancée was raised. Fiancée’s mom and sibs and we still have not met and currently we don’t have plans to meet prior to the wedding, whenever that will be in Honolulu.
I agree it would be good to ask your S to ask GF having you guys meet her folks at graduation is something she/they would like or perhaps if there is a less hectic time/place to meet.
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OP, please listen to @cinnamon1212 – that’s the exact way to approach this.
I’ve posted about this before, including when it happened, but ds1 and his then-gf had just moved in together a few months earlier in a state about 1,000 miles away from both sets of parents and wanted us to meet at Thanksgiving and for us to share an Airbnb! Me and dh and them and their ds. The kids would stay at their own place, lol. Some here thought we were nuts to consider it, but you know what? We weren’t. It went great. Why would the kids set us up to fail, you know? If they think it will work, then trust them and recognize that this is the next step forward in your ds’s eyes. I would make sure that the gf wanted this, too, but if that answer is yes then go for it. What a great, happy occasion to meet her parents. To me, it’ll already be a happy time so that will take some of the awkwardness off.
And just to put a button on this: We flew home today from our fourth Thanksgiving together, with both families. The second Thanksgiving they had a Covid wedding in the same city we all first met, the third they had a REAL wedding in the same city and this, our fourth, dh and I flew up to the kids’ home and then we drove to the next state over so we could see where DIL grew up. We spent the holiday with the kids, her parents, her aunt and uncle and her grandparents. It was lovely. Go in with an open mind and assumed good intentions and flexibility and have a great time.
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I think so much is dependent on the school and the kids’ desires. My parents and my boyfriend (now DH) parents met at our graduation. The graduation ceremony was on Sunday morning, but Saturday had ample opportunities to socialize. The school had some open house type events and then held a tent party that night. DH and I organized a BBQ for our friends and their parents.
Did DS go to this college too? Do they have mutual friends who might want to hang out for part of the weekend? I can definitely see opportunities for low key socializing outside of the formal ceremony.
On the other hand, at some larger schools, it might just be one humongous ceremony and no real way to meet up with friends.
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There is lot of good advice here. I’m looking forward to be a part of whatever they’ve in mind.
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So much depends on the GF and what she and her parents have planned for the weekend. With both of my kids’ college graduations we were pretty low key. Meeting a significant other’s parents would have been very easy to accommodate as, in addition to siblings, we only had one set of grandparents with us at one graduation and only my sister at the other. Since GF’s family is a plane ride away, there may not be a huge gathering of family at the event. Since you can do it as a day trip if needed, makes sense to go. I find most graduations to be boring (unless the speaker is someone exceptional) so I would be happy to skip that, but glad to meet for a meal or drinks.
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