<p>huge problem here. me and my girlfriend had planned experiencing college together since sophomore year in high school. I got accepted to UCI, UCD, UCSB, and cal poly slo, rejected by UCSD and UCLA. ive always been fascinated with architecture so i decided to go to Cal Poly SLO as a architecture major. She had applied to all the mid tier UC's, we were shocked when she got accepted to UCSD, however she got REJECTED by Cal Poly SLO!!?? she applied as a mechanical engineering major, *** i didnt know cal poly was more selective than UCSD?!! </p>
<p>well the big problem is this, i am pretty set on going to Cal Poly SLO but my gf got rejected! i am seriously debating going to UCSB with her, but i would be sacrificing my desired major, architecture, for engineering at UCSB. deep down inside i really really want to do architecture at SLO, one of the best programs in the country....and my girlfriend really wanted to go to school here with me. i know i shouldnt sacrifice my college decision and career aspirations for one person, but this is my best friend, girlfriend for 8 years. </p>
<p>i am terrified that going to different colleges will eventually destroy what we have. i will eventually meet new people on my own here at SLO, and she will do the same at UCSB.</p>
<p>has anyone ever gone through this? girlfriends/friends VS. the college you want? what should i do? i can still got to UCSB, im just terrified i will regret it!</p>
<p>I would NOT give up a chance to go to SLO for Arch....they are far superior than UCSB in that dept. A friend graduated from SLO and got a fantastic job designing hospitals and made big bucks straight out of school.</p>
<p>If your friend truly is a friend, she and you will remain close. You can always reunite at breaks, summer and when college is done!</p>
<p>If you are really in love, the relationship will survive. Maybe this is fate's way of telling you to do the best thing for yourselves as individuals and see where life takes you.</p>
<p>shes going to UCSB. she chose it over UCSD only because UCSB is the closest school out of all she was accepted to cal poly. i feel bad because i know her mom really wanted her to go to UCSD. </p>
<p>she tells me to go to cal poly and do what i always wanted to do, but i honestly can't see this working out. im NOT insecure at all about myself but my girlfriend is the type of girl that gets guys looking. not that she is a skank, she is just naturally pretty and friendly to all people. plus all my friends and family always bug me about how 'hot' she is. i know that no matter what she does some UCSB surfer jerk or sbcc punk is going to try to pull a move on her. this will probably happen on a daily basis. i trust her as anyone would trust their best friends but it bothers me that this stuff will be going on. she is the sweetest person and i know she cares about me more than anything and would never do such a thing to hurt mebut i cant stand the fact that she will be getting hit on by guys on a daily basis. and college is no fun if you sit in your room all day and hold yourself back from meeting new people because you are afraid it will make your boyfriend hundreds of miles away feel insecure. so im thinking i may just head over to UCSB. its a really good school as well, in some ways better than poly, i dunno, they dont offer an architecture program there though, so ill have to settle for something else. my problem is spending 4 years of my life working on a major that im not the most passionate about may be something i regret for the rest of my life........</p>
<p>friends are telling me that its a good indicator for us to take a break and find ourselves for a while. have fun and dont let the distance between us make things worse, give the relationship a break or whatever.......but i cant do it......cal poly slo architecture (my dream college experience) without my girl vs. second choice school and major (ucsb engineering) with my girl.........</p>
<p>i sometimes feel like telling her to just go to UCSD, because honestly its such a good school for what she is planning on doing and i want to see her get the best education she possibly can, and this is definately at UCSD for her. maybe we can take a break but once she goes to UCSD i know its going to be done for us......too far, we'll only be able to see each other in between quarters and terms, and that doesnt look too fun.......college decisions suck.</p>
<p>I'm a SLO student and know many guys who date girls from Santa Barbara. They talk during the week and see each other most weekends. It's only an hour and a half drive. But what if you go to SB and you two break up? Then you'll REALLY wonder how your life would have been. You're right, both schools are excellent, but the deal-breaker the way I see it is that SB doesn't offer arch. If you really want to pursue arch, I wouldn't pass it up for a girl. Ultimately, you know the situation the best and have to make the decision, but those are my two cents.</p>
<p>Giant8307 makes a great point. If you two did break up, you'd always wonder if you could have had a better college experience and ultimately a better life.</p>
<p>My college counselor, when discussing about Cal Poly SLO with me, mentioned a well-known "back door" policy for admissions into Cal Poly SLO. If your girlfriend takes classes at Cal Poly SLO this summer, she will automatically be enrolled and considered a student in the Fall. I'm not completely sure about the details, so you may have to consult your college counselor.</p>
<p>Basing your choice of college on what a girlfriend decides to do, especially at your age, is not a wise course of action. I'm sure you heard this before and I'm sure you'll dispel it and do whatever you plan on doing it anyway, but it would be wrong of me not to reiterate what you've probably heard for the umpteenth time.</p>
<p>Audioslave: If that were true, anyone would be able to attend, so what would be the point of admissions? The catch is that you must be admitted to Summer Session and then can continue into Fall.</p>
<p>Not to beat a dead horse, but if you truly love someone you want what is best for them, not what is best for YOU. Sometimes that means encouraging them to pursue their dreams even if you can not go along for the ride. </p>
<p>I'm truly sorry to hear that your girl friend chose UCSB over UCSD SIMPLY to be a few hours closer to you, not because she really prefers it. I'm sorrier to hear that you are not encouraging her to make the best decision for HER without worrying about YOU. To me, both things are signs that you are very insecure about your relationship to begin with and that is not a good sign that it will last even if you both end up at the same school.</p>
<p>Thank you Carolyn! Where are your parents and hers in all of this? If you were my children, I'd be getting help to make you see how wrong either of you not choosing your best option at this time is.</p>
<p>The sad truth is that the odds of your still being together by the end of college are slim. I'm not saying yours is not a great relationship, but simply that history shows the odds of young love lasting are incredibly small.</p>
<p>It's likely that one of you would feel really foolish in the future for not having followed your individual dream and doing the best you can personally do.</p>
<p>A mature, secure person never minds a test of a relationship. I know that's a hard concept for a teenager, but believe me, you will not want to end up in a relationship where you are together because neither had the chance to see the world and decide they want to be with you with all others considered. The insecure, don't look at anyone else relationships do not result in happy marriages.</p>
<p>Let your beautiful girlfriend go out and be hit on, know she's an attractive woman and still choose you. That's the only way you'll ever be truly secure in the relationship. And you go out into the world and be friends with girls and see if she remains the one for you.</p>
<p>ideally this is what should become of this: she goes to UCSD and gets the best education available to her. not to mention spending 4 years of her life in a beautiful area.
I go to cal poly and go through with my dreams and aspirations i had planned for in architecture ever since i was a child. </p>
<p>right now she is going to try to appeal cal poly. if not right now ive decided to agree with her mom about UCSD being the best place for her.</p>
<p>its not as simple as it sounds this is my best friend since we were children. she is the type of person that i cant imagine life without. UCSD and cal poly are 6 hours away........and college would suffer for both of us if we just spent our free time talking on the phone with each other every night and weekend. </p>
<p>im trying to figure out what to make of this, because it has almost as if we are breaking up "by default."</p>
<p>i may be young but honestly this is someone i plan on being with for a long time, i dont want to sound dramatic or cheezy but "marriage" is the type of thing that i see with her.......and honestly being away at college is going to make things a lot different. </p>
<p>im definately going to poly though, its the best for ME. and she should still go to UCSD, its the best for her. i just dont want to even think about saying "oh maybe ill meet new girls in cal poly" or her "finding herself meeting new people" like everyone tells me because honestly im not interested in that. im not interested in meeting new girls at all........</p>
<p>Mindgame, Good decision. It will all work out in the end the way it is supposed to. Even when you're married, you'll still face tough decisions like this --- a strong love will ride out the bumps. </p>
<p>I will share an ancedotal story with you: When I was a senior in high school, there were two couples in my class that had been together since freshman year. Everyone thought both couples were "made for each other" and destined to be together forever. </p>
<p>One couple chose to go to the same school (each had other options). We thought this was incredibly romantic and a sign that they would be together forever.</p>
<p>The other couple had a tougher choice: the male was recruited to play baseball at a top school but his girlfriend's family could not afford to send her there. They ended up going to schools several hours apart. Everyone at our school thought this was the saddest thing in the world and predicted that their relationship would never last. </p>
<p>The first couple split up within three months of starting college and the girl ended up transferring to another school to start fresh because it was too heart-breaking to see him around campus after the break up. </p>
<p>The second couple stayed "together" through out college and, although their careers took them to cities two hours apart after graduation, they ended up marrying each other about 4 years after college. They have been married for 25-plus years and are still very happy with each other. </p>
<p>The first couple both ended up marrying other people and they also have been happily married for many years. I saw both of them at our 20th high school reunion and neither seemed particularly interested in talking to the other. </p>
<p>So, there's no guarantee either way. </p>
<p>Best wishes to you and your girl friend for future happiness and success!</p>