<p>I will be a freshman in about a week at a university about 30 minutes from my home. I was initially so excited and never really considered going home besides every once and a while to see my dog and wash clothes or something so probably like once a month? Well my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer a few weeks ago and this changed everything. For a while I contemplated commuting but i've now decided that i'm definitely living in the dorms for the first semester. I DO plan on going home a lot though now. I am only taking four classes first semester (My university wants to "transition" people in and not overwhelm them), so I have so much free time. I really want to be there for my mom and help her out while she is doing chemotherapy. </p>
<p>My problem is that I don't want to be "that kid who goes home every weekend". I know it is frowned upon at universities. I also don't want to explain to people "I'M GOING HOME BECAUSE MY MOM HAS CANCER". </p>
<p>What do I do? I want to enjoy my freshman year but with a cancer diagnosis in my family, can I even do that? How can I be there for my mom and be at school as well? Thanks</p>
<p>First of all I’m really sorry that you have to go through this, and I wish your mom all the best!</p>
<p>On to your issue: as a disclaimer I’m going to be a freshman in college too so I don’t have much experience here. But you obviously face a very different situation than someone who is just going home all the time because it’s easy, and I really think people will understand that. Balancing school and your mom might be tough but I think figuring that our will just come with time. But as you’re figuring that out I think people should be understanding if you explain the situation to them. It might be a good idea to stay on campus for the first few weekends (if you’re comfortable being away for that long) just to make sure you don’t miss out on those early connections, but I wouldn’t worry about being judged for going home when you have a very understandable reason for doing so.</p>
<p>Hey there. Let me start by saying I wish the best for your mom and family. I know situations like these are not easy. </p>
<p>I’m in a similar situation as you. My brother has bipolar disorder, and even though my college is 20 mins away from home, I decided to live on campus. Just like you, I plan on going home during the weekends to help take care of him. </p>
<p>My best advice to you would be go home on the weekends. Just be sure to make those early connections during the weekdays while you are on campus. I don’t think going home on the weekends will ruin your college experience. Personally I think family comes first, however others may think otherwise.</p>
<p>A lot of people I know either go home on weekends or commute to class because of their lives. Whether it be fortunate or not, I did not have the opportunity to live in a dorm setting myself either - and at the end of the day I don’t know whether it would have made a difference in my social life or not xD</p>
<p>Going home every weekend will NOT kill your social life. You’re living on campus in a friggin dorm?! You’ll be around people 5 days a week! </p>
<p>Best of luck with that situation, sorry to hear In my situation I live with my family in the same town as my university We couldn’t find a house near it (and wish we could have), but it’s been a lot of fun so far anyway.</p>
<p>A lot of kids go home during the weekend. My daughter’s campus is in a college town and she’s been told to expect that. My other daughter’s campus is a huge school and students go out and about their business. People won’t care that you go home on the weekends as it is very popular at some schools. </p>
<p>You don’t need to explain to anyone the reason for leaving, just take your books with you and get some work done while visiting with your family. Your mother will appreciate you being there with her, but she will also not want to have you neglect your studies.</p>
<p>TBH, going home every weekend is pretty lame. I had a roommate that did that because he had a gf back home but I feel like he missed out socially/college exp. I myself lived about 30 min away from home and went home usually 1x a month but it was mostly out of guilt because my parents always complained about being lonely lol. But realistically, if you’re mom has colon cancer that changes everything like you said. You have to be willing to sacrifice some social time in order to spend time with her, meaning going home more than 1x a month. At least that’s what I’d do if my mom got cancer.</p>
In my situation I live with my family in the same town as my university 
We couldn’t find a house near it (and wish we could have), but it’s been a lot of fun so far anyway.</p>