I’m a highschool senior and I am academically, a very strong student. I’m a cheerleader as well as involved in multiple clubs and organizations. I have an okay personality, but I am not the ‘cool’ kid and I can be pretty shy. I have a lot of acquaintances, but not a squad. I have never been to a party, drank, smoke, etc. I have only been involved with a few boys and I am mostly inexperienced with everything beyond making out. How am I going to fare in college? I want to fit in and make friends and meet boys. Any tips on improving myself now?
Joining a sorority might help you get the type of college experience it sounds like you want.
There are all sorts of people in college; it’s not like everyone parties hard all the time and you’re going to constantly surrounded by that. I was never the most popular kid in high school or a partier, but I’ve adjusted just fine and have never felt like an outsider at any point. The great thing about college is that there really are all types of people, so you can find “your people.”
My biggest piece of advice is to not purposely try to change yourself to be like the stereotypical college student just because you want to fit in. Be yourself and do what you feel comfortable doing. Don’t be afraid to try new things, but at the same time, don’t force yourself into situations you’ll dislike.
As far as making friends, the first few weeks, be as friendly as possible and get involved. Go to any activity fairs your school has and join some clubs. Hang out in your floor’s lounge/community area and talk to people, leave your door open so people can say hi when they walk by.
If you decide to drink, be safe and know your limits. Go to parties in a group, have one person in the group who’ll remain sober (and if you’re driving to a party, of course have a DD).
First of all…I would say 99% of college freshman feel like you. College Orientations are designed to help you make friends. Most freshmen have no friends and are looking to make some.
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During Orientation, go to as many activities as you can. Ask people in your hall way if they are going. Introduce yourself…they are looking for friends too. “Hey, I am Pat…what are you majoring in?”
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Go to the Activities Fair and sign up for a bunch of clubs that are of interest. They may not all pan out, but don’t eliminate anything yet. If you are into music/D&D/running/church/whatever, you can find other people who are interested too. Service clubs are great because you spend time working together.
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Talk to the people on your floor…Get some cookies and offer them “Hey I have cookies, anyone want some?” and then strike up a conversation about where they are from, what they are majoring in, etc. People like to talk about themselves…let them. Don’t make it too long…move on to others.
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At dinner time, ask your roommate/people on your hall if they are going to dining hall. Go with them. See if people in your dorm generally sit in the same area… Join them.
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Go to any dorm activities your RA has set up. If you are still having issues, talk to your RA. See if they have ideas. If not suggest that they have one. Maybe a movie and pizza?
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Join your dorm’s intramural (or any intramural) team.
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Talk to others in your classes…exchange numbers so that if either of you miss you can exchange notes… Ask what someone got on a homework question (that you did too)…once you get to know them, ask if they want to form a study group.
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If this isn’t working, go to the Counseling Center…they are ready to help freshman this time of year. Don’t think you are a loser because you have to go…this is something you pay for! Get the benefit! You may need to learn some new social skills. They may also have group talks on Homesickness or fitting in.
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Go to ongoing campus activities…concerts/movies/lectures/parties. Invite someone/group of people or just sign up and meet people for activities that might be off campus.
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See if your dorm/floor has a GroupMe Group set up…otherwise suggest to someone who is extraverted that it might be a good idea. Then people can send a group text that they are showing a movie in the lounge or are baking cupcakes in the kitchen.