I hear people in my dorm and outside my windows socializing. They are going to develop into functioning members of my society while I fester in my bed. If aliens were to come to our planet they could use me and my situation as an example of social natural selection. My loser genes will be removed from the gene pool. At least the bird who is unable to fly reaches their fate more quickly. I get to see myself fail for several decades.
“It is a Friday night, the fifth day of the earthlings 7-day week cycle. Friday night is a time usually characterized with social interaction between the college youth, a chance to form relationships and bond with one another. Yet, we must only look to the bedroom of the solitary ‘loser’ to see how social selection helps weed out weak genes from the gene pool. This ‘loser’ is unable to socialize with others, and as a result, will perish alone. Fortunately for the rest of his species, his failure genes will not continue on to the next generation”
Your writing statements indicate all the classic signs of depression.
Please go see a counselor; there is a lot that you are saying here that can be said directly to a counselor. Counselors wont JUDGE you!
Change evolves and takes a little time. (If you got into Harvard, you are brilliant!)
The counselor won’t make you immediately become social. The counselor will work with you and other medical professionals in a confidential setting to help you understand the heavy load you have been carrying without the support you need.
Ask me in a PM how I know this.
As a Mama, my perspective is: you need to know that we carry you for nine months and we love you without even knowing you. Then we try to raise you right, but we are human and we make the most awful mistakes because we are NOT perfect. We don’t know anything, so we watch and ask others and we learn as we are raising you. Its not perfect. We still love you and wevtry to make the best of things. We don’t like to admit that we could be wrong, but it does happen that we SCREW UP our kids! I’ve made incredibly stupid mistakes with my three, and fortunately for my husband and I, our kids have forgiven our mistakes.
Please don’t assume or make the mistake that everyone is raised to be perfect social butterflies. It takes practice and work for many of us just to be able to get up, go to work/school, meet others, shop, interact and entertain ourselves.
A counselor will provide another avenue for you to reflect upon and help with your depression. You’re smart enough to know that.
The point of therapy is NOT for the counselor to say something that makes you feel better. That’s not how therapy works. It’s not like a parent saying, “You’re amazing! How could anyone not like you?!” No. that’s not what therapy is. The therapist doesn’t console you or uplift you or act as your cheerleader. The therapist treats you for depression. It WILL help. You might even be put on medication, which should make you feel better in 2-3 weeks. Please go. You need to be treated.
@WorthlessLoser As you claim to know a lot about being a looser, what would be your advice to others who feel what you feel? How can they improve their situation, even if only a little? Would you recommend joining some charity so they can help others?
Your argument is that if I join a charity and help others I won’t feel like a loser? I don’t know, maybe. I think I’ve gotten what I wanted out of this thread. I’m just going to go back into hiding like in high school. I’m feeling pretty resigned to my position at this point. Maybe I’ll eventually build up the courage to go seek therapy as recommended by so many. For now, I think I’ll just wallow in sadness.
Seeking outside help is the best answer. Users have tried to help, but there seems to be no open-to-listen. Since there is no other good advice to add and no respondent is a professional in this discipline, and the thread is going in circles, I’m closing and wishing the OP best of luck.