<p>As an Asian kid about to make it out of high school, I'd say being Asian had nothing to do with it. Our parents are concerned for our welfare, and reading through some of the comments on this thread, my parents did half of those things. You just gotta suck it up, sorry. I also know a bunch of non-Asian kids who got this too.
First: Your complaining about it only gives Asian families a bad name. We're attracting "pity" from other people just because they think we have crap-homelives. Or they think we're forced into Joy Luck Club situations (btw, Amy Tan is teh sux. Not at ALL a good representation of Asian America today), and dealing with backlogs of generational oppression.
Second: Stop feeling sorry about yourself.
Third: If you're really passionate about something, then stick up for it. Put your foot down. Forget all the BS your parents may give you about getting kicked out of the house; they probably don't mean it. An example for you:
I loved this club at school called JSA (hahaaa <3), and when I took the presidency in junior year, my mother told me first thing to drop it, since it would take up too much time. We had a number of arguments about this. I didn't drop it, kept my grades up, and eventually my parents came to respect me for standing up for myself (and even appreciate JSA for making me more responsible, et cetera).</p>
<p>Your parents just want the best for you, likely, and since what they probably know as the sure-shot best-damn-thing out there is Harvard/Ivies/etc., they want it for you too.
Just take it with a grain of salt. =/ Try to understand their reasoning before you deem them a bunch of Far-East Neo-Nazis. </p>
<p>(... but if your parents are physically abusive, et cetera, who'm I to say anything? ><)</p>
<p>I'm a HS senior. I've both fought with and tried to understand my parents. The latter works a lot better. </p>
<p>For me, well, it's hard to expect my parents to do a complete 180 on their system, when it's all they know. My dad was only one of 4 of the students in his high school to go to college (this was a class of 1000). This was when mainland college education was completely funded by the government, and could only afford to accept the extreme best. Their own views on education have gotten them this far; we're in the US now and upper middle class, so those views clearly weren't worthless. </p>
<p>And even though I've disagreed with their rules sometimes. They've often helped me in the end. We used to argue a lot about them not letting me have a boyfriend (They didn't think anyone in my grade would be worth it). But if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have found a great guy, who was willing to wait months, and still is waiting, until I get into college, so that he can ask them for their permission.</p>
<p>I'm not sure how to describe my parents. Sometime, they are sooo asian but there are time when they are normal too. My dad is the worst, however. He can't control his temper and sometime he rely on violence to solves problems.</p>
<p>Hey! I'm going to the university of my choice though (vanderbilt). It's not an ivy or a super top school, but it's my choice :) I'm majoring in East Asian Studies and pre-law. My mom is like 'whatever, just make money'</p>
<p>yelled at her and did the threatening routine for not trying to get in on the science competition. She was insecure and then finally just gave up. she still resents me for it, in the 11th grade.
She is ambivalent, hugs me yet doesn't confide, and I don't blame her. Now when I give college advice she just talks over me and refuses to listen. </p>
<p>American parents are sometimes just as guilty as Asian parents of pushing their kids. I knew she was gifted, and I just expected too much too soon and didn't go about it the right way. </p>
<p>These Asian parents sound as opinionated and pushy and demanding and insensitive as I was, and you kids just have to give them a stare and tell them to back off, it is your life. Mentally, if you are afraid to do it right out.Just realize they are programmed to be fearful (all parents are) and this is what they say out of fear. Try not to take it to heart. I suppose someday if I just keep out of her way for the next several years, my daughter will eventually forgive me for my insensitivity when she was in 6th grade.</p>
<p>omg aurorad12345 I wish my dad thinks like you do! anyways I'm a junior in hs and I don't do as well as I should be doing, all my dad talks about is Financial aid and getting into a college. he knows ivy league is out of the question (thank goodness) but he's always a pain in the a** and he's so dramatic. basically he's a typical asian father it's either get a good job or juss work in a supermarket and become a cashier</p>
<p>Im indiian. My father would constantly try to insert his "words of wisdom" and ranom times usually ending with why I should be a doctor. If relatives would come over, or if we were just casually sitting at the dinner table, my dad says "Shreya you have everything to become a docotr. Compassion. hard work. dedication" And i sit their wondering why he said that all of a suden. Or if i request money for the mall or whatever, he'll say.. "well I can't give you too much money. Thats why you have to become a doctor so you can spend money". I was like WHAT? hahaha his logic is too funny.</p>
<p>Grades wise, hes lightened up a lot. Im the typical strauight A student with a couple of Bs and Cs on a few quizzes here and there. Before i used to svcared bringing home a C or a B but now, he just says to work hard, forget what happened and try to improve. So that works! And as for SAT, he was really happy i got a 2200 superscore, so I guess compared to the mounds of asians here sho complain about their parents being mad at a 2320 i envy/pity you. </p>
<p>But now being sneior, i usually just get the usual, be a docotr lecture. Bu tbesides that, hes more of the strict type when it comes to hanging out with guys..but thats an entirely different issue. haha</p>
<p>I'm South Asian. My parents pressured me constantly when I was little to do well in school. Now that I'm in high school, they've backed off because they know I care enough myself to want to get straight A's and good test scores.</p>
<p>My parents are always saying that I need to be a doctor too, lol. But I think I do want to go into medicine.</p>
<p>I'm Indian... you know the drill. I get the whole speech and stuff, and of course, I want to aim high - but I've finally convinced my parents that and Ivy may not be the best for me.</p>
<p>But I still get the whole test/grade fiasco... except for some reason A's aren't enough... I need to be ahead of the class in every subject. But it's cool.</p>
<p>Personally I think that if my parents weren't stereotypical Asian parents, I wouldn't have been pushed as hard and I wouldn't be where I am today.</p>
<p>I don't blame Asian parents either. Back home it's a heck of a lot more competitive, and over there a 98% is a lot worse than a 100%... even though here it's nothing.</p>
<p>oh, asian parents. my dad, refused to pay $50k a year for anything that wasn't HYPS, so my college list was pretty easy to make...hahah</p>
<p>but in reality, my parents arent bad. i do kow this one kid, his mom is the "crazy asian'. she planned his schedule so that he wouldnt take PE til sr year and is consequently #1 (b/c he didn't have that extra 4.0 weighted in, not b/c he took a ridiculous schedule). AND, she (NOT the actual kid) calls my house and is like **** doesnt know how to do this, did your D copy it down/do it/know how? AND sometimes she even asks my dad (cuase hes a crazy smart asian) if he knows how to do it!</p>
<p>My parent's are actually pretty cool, except when my mom tells me "participate in clubs, play an instrument, do more community service, get a summer job, OR YOU WILL NOT GET IN to HYPS!!!"
-She watches about 2 hrs of soap opera every day</p>
<p>lol!My mom is the same thing but as I am a high school senior right now and living in the US all by myself for the second year as a 17 year old, she gives me some respect. When I had a serious talk to her, she stopped pushing me and giving me more pressure. I guess asian parents just want the best for their kids, there is totally nothing wrong with that, but just different when kids are going through hard times and they have their own thinkings.</p>
<p>i have Russian parents, who both grew up in communist Russia, so you can say they are pretty much the same as Asians. But yeah my dad doesn't even know what city Harvard is in or what they even offer there, he just knows that its called Harvard and that it is a top school and he nags me to go there, but I dont want to go there. After I told my parents that I want to go to a state school, I overheard them talking about me and I heard my dad say "Oh well we messed up with our first child (me) but our second one (my brother) will go to Harvard!" LMAO. </p>
<p>And to everyone who says that parents act this way because they "love" their child, I definately do not think this is the case. They either:
1. Want their kid to make lots of money so they would get some and could retire with a fortune.
2. Do not want their kid to have an enjoyable childhood that they did not have.</p>
<p>If I loved my kids I would respect their decisions and if I truly did not agree with their decisions I would talk to them about it and tell them why I did not agree with them. Authoritarian parents are the worst, they break their children down with fear and the child grows up to have no self-esteem.</p>
<p>Lol. Luckily as the second child I have it wayyy more easier. My parents are now more like "You don't have to get into an Ivy League, just somewhere that gives you a lot of money." But, I know that they are just holding back on saying, "You 'better get into Harvard!!!"</p>
<p>Dude, I totally understand what you mean. And you're dad is not the only one who does that. My guess is that he's saying all this just to motivate you. If your brother got into UT Austin, and your dad still loves him, then obviously, he can't hate you if you don't get into Harvard. You should tell him, that Harvard ain't easy. There's way too much luck involved--you could be the most qualified applicant, and still be rejected.</p>
<p>My mom: law school? That's great! Law's a great thing to study, it's just a ridiculously hard thing to study.</p>
<p>Her question before that: How do you become a lawyer?
Me: Um, you go to law school, you pass the bar, and then you get in.
Her: But what about the time between passing the bar and law school?
Me: Most big law firms sponsor you in the meanwhile.
Her: But what if you fail the bar?
Me: If you go to a top30 law school, 85+% of the kids pass the bar.
Her: Oh, okay.</p>
<p>I think she'll actually let me go to law school. I'm thinking she secretly wants me to go to law school. Everyone says my mom should have been a lawyer.</p>
<p>My dad told me if I wanted to study in US, it had to be MIT or I had to study in India...
But that was only to motivate me and encourage me to work hard and do my best in everything I do..
He never forced me or threatened me for anything...He lets me have fun (hangout with friends etc).
If he knows that I am working hard and not wastin time, he is fine--when i start to slack off sometimes, he just reminds me I shouldn't be wasting time..
There is a lot for me to learn..
I am really glad my dad and mom are what they are because they are very encouragin and motivating--my mom used to be harsh on me so that I got better grades, but it was for my own good. They knew I had the potential and just wnted me to put it in action..
So, I think we Asians should be glad for what our parents do as they do it for our own good.</p>
<p>My mom said I could spend spring break just sitting at home working on my transfer applications to Cornell and Penn, and that I wouldn't have to get a job like usual. And that if I got into Columbia she'd buy me a car and cook better food and be just be a better mom in general. Lol.</p>
<p>Well I'm as white as can be, and the other day, my family and I were talking about college. I'm a hs freshman. I don't mind talking about colleges, because I am interested in looking now, but it's the expectations that drive me insane!</p>
<p>Like, I said how I want to take the SATs soph year to give myself time to improve without cramming senior year, and we started talking about superscoring. And I said how I don't think Stanford superscored, but it was okay because I wasn't going there. My dad goes WHY? And I'm like, Um, it's too big? And then my mom goes (it's really loud in the restaurant we're in) WHAT? And I say the same thing, and she's just like, Ok... giving me this look like, So what?</p>
<p>And then my dad starts yammering on about Harvard and I'm like, I don't even want to go there. So he goes, "Oh, well, when we're up in that area we might as well just visit, I mean, it's good to look at a lot of schools to get a better idea...blahblahblah." ARG! I mean, obviously the kids on here care about college. Why add to the stressed superstar stereotype by throwing Hah-vahd expectations into the mix?</p>