<p>Both my parents are asian, but they're totally whitewashed so I got lucky. My dad grew up as a surf bumb on northshore, hawaii and my mom grew up here southern california (shes only half asian also); so i dont get that get good grades ******** as much or the "you have to be absolutely perfect at everything", i also dont have to learn the asian language, because both my parents dont know anyother language besides english and occasional words of japanese. so not all asian parents are uncool</p>
<p>my parents are typical chinese parents. and most of the time they see other friends/relatives' kids always better than their own kid. what i hear most often from them is "look at blahblahblah's kid, and look at you!" ... "blahblahblah's kid got straight As, and you?!" ...</p>
<p>word to =feeling= .. my parents compare to me to everyone. I dare not bring any smart people over to my house anymore, because once they are introduced to these smart (huh, coincidentally all Chinese people -- I just noticed that) girls, they can't help but read my report card and say, "Look at [insert name here] -- she doesn't even go out, and she gets straight A's, and she..." which is exactly why I didn't dare tell them that one particular favorite of my dad's got a 2340 as opposed to my 2240 (and wanted to RETAKE).</p>
<p>They also think that if I get many B's, I will end up like my cousin -- who didn't graduate from hs. Funny how it's so extreme, going from 4.0 to highschool dropout.</p>
<p>Wow, some of your parents are truly pathetic.</p>
<p>My parents: You're going to wherever we can afford to send you.</p>
<p>Ivy League - scratch. Stanford - only if I do ROTC. USC - only if I get a scholarship. Santa Clara - ditto. Pitt - already got one. UMD - it's in-stae tuition.</p>
<p>I think my parents, after living so long in the US (since the 70s), avoided the whole Asian parent stereotype - though once I got straight A's for the first time, there's been an expectation that I will continue to do it...and I did, for almost 7 straight years. Hehe. I made it very clear to my parents this year that straight A's was going to be difficult, if not impossible (5 APs, and I just don't want to have to study all the time)...Hell, I came close anyways - only an 86 in Art History kept me off.</p>
<p>My parents simply assume I know what I'm doing when it comes to academics and they trust me enough to do things my way (though they still feel the need to prod).</p>
<p>My mother's fairly liberal too. I'm asian/hispanic, but my mom had it pretty tough in Korea as a teen. I'm not a typical asian: never played the piano/violin in my life, can't eat kimchi, and can barely handle chop sticks for that matter. "Uma" doesn't even know what 4.0 means. My mom thinks it would be nice to get into someplace such as Berkeley, but she is completely fine with my probable decision of going to a UC or even a local University, and double majoring in English and Anthropology, and is just as ecstatic as me in my hopes of supporting myself by being a part-time tap dance teacher. :) What can I say...she's liberal.</p>
<p>But for everybody else, I know it can be hard...but be yourself. In the end, it's really all that matters.</p>
<p>I'm Asian. I've faced similar situations. Here's how I dealt with it:
1. Go Buck Ass Wild on them.
2. Show them you are crazy.
3. Holler and fight back.</p>
<p>And they will become conditioned and used to your new "self". They will stop the nagging and BS. But they will still support you because in the end, you are still their kid.</p>
<p>Where did I end up? Rutgers Pharmacy and I'm doinge extremely well there while managing 21 credits a semester. I'm glad I got my wildness overwith during highschool. I used to go out to parties every week and do so many stupid things that my parents would eventually find out about.</p>
<p>Now my Chinese dad brings me to Costco and let's me pick out about three bottles of liquor every week for my parties. Mind you I am still 18.</p>
<p>It's all about conditioning your parents. Just go BUCK ASS WILD on them.</p>
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<p>HAHAHAH! Good job, good job.</p>
<p>Yeah, no parent is going to force you to go to any college you guys. Asian parents will try to persuade you to aim for the skies but will in the end learn to cope with whatever you achieve. College is just a phase of life...there's so much more to life that this BS.</p>
<p>I volunteer regularly with an 86-year old woman at a local hospital and whenever she talks about her life experiences during WW2, Cold War, Vietnam, Great Depression, etc., it makes me realzie how trivial my problems are. I immediately forget about how I'm "imperfect" since I have a 3.9 GPA instead of a 4.0 GPA and be grateful that I have good health and a loving family to come back home to. </p>
<p>People have it so much worse off than we do.Be happy with who you are and learn to accept your strengths/weaknesses!!!:)</p>
<p><em>claps hands</em>. Bravo! :D</p>
<p>Interesting stories... my parents are just interested in having me go to college, regardless if it's a JC or Ivy. However, I am familiar with the Ivy-or-Die attitudes of some Asian parents.</p>
<p>I'm surprised this thread I started so long ago has still been fairly active :)</p>
<p>I don't really think your dad really means it because my parents say the same thing to me. Basically if you think about it, he just wants what is best for you. Besides even if you went to an other college rather than an ivy they still love you and will pay. >] They love you way too much to do that.</p>
<p>Back in the highschool days, my friends and I did Chinese improve at some parties. Essentially it always revolved around these two things.</p>
<p>99% is not good enough. You need to get 120% with extra credit! (Slap)</p>
<p>MIT? *** is MIT. Asians always go to Harvard! (Beatdown).</p>
<p>Sounds like one heck of a party... :rolleyes:</p>
<p>i can't handle chopsticks, too!!! (Tip: just stab the food).</p>
<p>yah, and although parents generally don't mean it, it still adds big pressure on you...</p>
<p>My mom is really annoying. She tells me "Go to Georgetown or Open Door State U." What the hell? She's always bugging me about how I'm a math/science person even though my grades prove the polar opposite. My mom basically planned out my entire life from the moment I became a junior. According to her, I would:
A) Get into Georgetown
B) Major a science (bio/chem whatever)
C) Go to Harvard Med
D) Become a doctor.</p>
<p>Except that won't work for me. Firstly, I suck at chemistry. Secondly, I hate science. Thirdly, I want to be an investment banker, not a doctor. I told her SEVERAL times that I would rather disown her than become a doctor, but she won't listen. She keeps tellimg me all this BS about why I should become a doctor. These are the reasons:
A) She THINKS I'll be a good doctor (Did she forget to look at my report card? History/English: A/A-, Math/Physics: C/B-)
B) She THINKS doctors make a lot of money (Um, no. Investment bankers make $350k straight out of MBA. Doctors make less than $200k pre-malpractice insurance out of med school (if they're lucky). Factor in malpractice insurance and it's like in the $130k range.)
C) She THINKS if I go get my MBA from Harvard (this would be MY choice, not hers), I would end up being a telemarketer for the rest of my life. (WRONG!!! Finance jobs pay tons, and most MBA's end up going into finance jobs anyways.)
D) Law school, MBA doesn't guarentee anything. She THINKS med school does. (Um, LIAR!!! Med school grads still need to pass the MLE. If they fail, they aren't licensed to practice medicine. I'm POSITIVE that the Bar or the NASD series 6,63,65 are MUCH easier to pass.)
E) She's obsessive/compulsive.
F) She doesn't have anything else to tell me.
I told her I wanted to do business and go into Corp. Finance, but she won't listen. She imagines me being a telemarketer making cold calls all day. Her misconception scares me because she worked for Citibank for not one, not two, but TWELVE YEARS!!! I don't think she knows what a stockbroker or an investment banker does. I don't think she even did any research into this. She thinks I'll work in retail sales. It's beyond persuasion. I've already tried talking to her, but it turned into a bickering match, where I walked away and shut myself up in my room for hours. </p>
<p>She thinks anyone who's not a doctor won't be successful. She tries to pin me into becoming a doctor EVEN IF I CLEARLY told her that I DON'T want to be a doctor, or study science in college, but SHE WON'T LISTEN. She's still insistent about it. I don't even talk to her anymore about course selections, or what I'm going to do in college. I'm just going to major econ and go into investment banking, and when she finds out, it'll be too late for her to do anything about it.</p>
<p>tell her that more and more doctors are in danger of malpractice (even if they don't do malpractice often). maybe that will enlighten her.</p>
<p>At least they recognize that you want to study business. My mom, mainly, (my dad totally rocks...he'll support me no matter what I study in college, grad school (looks like it'll be MBA), etc.), though she knows that I would rather disown her than study science in college (I TRULY abhor science with a passion), refuses to recognize it and still bugs me about, to no avail. If someone stops listening to you and stops consulting you for advice and avoids you, shouldn't you maybe back off????</p>
<p>I have two personality/career tests (from PR, Naviance-this site my school subscribes to for College Counseling) that CLEARLY indicate that my interests are OBVIOUSLY in business/finance. She still refuses to recognize that her perfect little son wants to study business and DO BUSINESS (I want to be an investment banker and will be. I don't care what my mom says.)</p>
<p>Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Still not working.
Shouldn't parents be SUPPORTING you in whatever you do, not WORK AGAINST you? She's usually been pretty supportive, and played along when I wanted to be a lawyer in middle school, and talked to friends about what lawyers can do. But she vehemently objects to me becoming a stockbroker or investment banker. Whatever. I don't care what she says, this is my life. If she doesn't like it, she can pack up and go home.</p>