Grad school and my parents

<p>Researching ways to get to interviews is good practice for dealing with the realities of handling adult life with your issues. Being “furious” is not helpful, especially to strangers who have been brainstorming for you and dealing with your changing posts. Contact the schools you want to apply to disabilities offices and discuss how things could be handled in their institution and town. Their answers will save you a lot of frustration, getting mad at other parents won’t. This and many other good suggestions have been presented by parents before my post. Calm down and consider the person you are presenting to us- attitude counts for a lot.</p>

<p>To the OP: Your original post brings up a number of issues but if you’re looking for information/support about traveling to your interviews, I suggest you look at [Disability</a>, Handicapped, Wheelchair, Accessible and Disabled Travel Information at Access-Able](<a href=“http://www.access-able.com/]Disability”>http://www.access-able.com/). </p>

<p>You say that you’ve done quite a bit of traveling - to conferences, etc. - so going to interviews should be similar. Don’t let your wheelchair stand in the way of going to the grad program that’s best for you.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

<p>2boysima has written a fabulous post. For all you know, the universities of interest to you have tons of information at their fingertips regarding transportation from the airport and local hotels that are accommodating to your needs. I wish you lots of success.</p>

<p>Have you contacted your own college’s disability services office and the office that helps students get into grad school to get their suggestions? More than likely they’ve helped other students navigate similar concerns to yours.</p>

<p>We also could be more helpful if you provided more info about your disability. I undersand that you’re in a wheelchair, but I don’t understand your problem with doors. Do you have problems moving your arms?</p>

<p>You also may be able to get good advice from the national or state association for people with your disability.</p>

<p>I agree with those who pointed out that people here are taking their time trying to help you, and your becoming “furious” because you disagree with someone’s well meaning advice could cause you to miss out on the useful advice that is being offered or could be offered.</p>

<p>You’ll get more of what you want if you focus on the posts that you find useful instead of blasting the ones that you disagree with. Take what you need and leave the rest.</p>

<p>I can totally relate to the process you’re going through and the reasons you’re applying straight from undergrad. My daughter is currently going through the same process, perhaps in a similar field of study. From what she says, phone interviews normally don’t result in being admitted so I understand your reluctance to go that route.</p>

<p>She’s applied to 6 programs with an exceptionally strong research fit with faculty at 4 of those programs so she’s hoping for several interviews. She knows that her top program only has 1 funded slot this year so she is stressed over that. She also scheduled a very light course load for the spring due to her thesis and interview travel but she’s stressed about managing those interviews if the dates overlap.</p>

<p>Just submitting the applications is extremely stressful and the waiting for interview responses even more so. I can’t imagine having to deal with your traveling concerns on top of that so I applaud you for your determination and all that you’ve accomplished so far. I recognize that you must be a strong independent person or you would not have accomplished what you have.</p>

<p>When my daughter finds herself getting stressed over her chances of acceptance, she says “I’m going to end up where I’m supposed to be” and I think that’s a positive way to approach it. Give it your best and you’ve done all you can do.</p>

<p>I like the advice that 2boysima has given you. As a parent going through this process for the first time, I had not a clue when DD started talking about applying to Ph.D. programs. I have an M.B.A. and thought you had to apply to master’s programs first…I had never even heard of going straight from undergrad to Ph.D. programs so this has been an education for me. </p>

<p>I think you should do your research on your travel options, contact the school disability offices to see if they have info that might help, and see if you can convince a friend or younger person in your lab who might want to visit the campus with you…that way it becomes a win-win situation since they see campuses they may choose to apply to in the next year or two.</p>

<p>Once you have some travel options, lay it out for your parents and give them some time for it to sink in. I’m betting they’ll come around. My husband still makes comments every now and then like “how long again before you have a real job?” but he’s just joking - he’s really very, very proud of her and what she’s accomplished.</p>

<p>Good luck to you. You sound like a very competitive applicant. I’m wishing for the best for you.</p>

<p>My school’s disability office is understaffed and pretty awful, and had I followed their advice above the minimum over the past four years, I would have only achieved a fraction of the things I have in college. The national org for my disability pretends as if people with my disability either magically disappear when they turn 18 or, at best, can hope for sheltered employment in some factory somewhere. </p>

<p>Also, I saw on the med school board that many parents are paying for otherwise supporting their kids’ medical school apps–pray do tell, does that make their kids “immature”? </p>

<p>Thank you very much to those of you who have offered helpful suggestions; to those of you who didn’t, I sincerely hope that you do not have people with physical disabilities to whom you give advice in real life!</p>

<p>I think MagnoliaMom’s suggestion to find a colleague who is interested in the same schools to travel with is an excellent one.</p>

<p>I know many people with physical disabilities, many of whom are highly successful and highly mobile. I don’t know any of them who ask for advice and then get hostile when they don’t like the advice. You are free to ignore any suggestions you wish, but people here are trying to be helpful and empathetic.</p>

<p>Perhaps if you were to become a “member” of some hotel chain rewards program (like Marriott or Sheraton) it might assist you in getting some extra special treatment. (I get priority treatment in this way.) Bigger hotels in large cities probably have more to offer-- also check any hotels that are convention destinations. I’m sure there must be some hotels that have guest services that can accommodate you. There’s usually a varied staff of concierges, valets, doormen and bellmen, etc. that might be available to assist you. I have done a lot of traveling and often see handicapped people. I don’t know what the precise accomodations for them are, but I’m certain there must be something somewhere to suit you even with your special requirements. </p>

<p>It may also be possible that there could be some on campus accommodations at the schools you’d be interviewing at that are reserved for alumni and/or special visitors that you might inquire about. You never know unless you ask.</p>

<p>Chin up and follow your best instincts–it’s your future.</p>