grade my Apush FRQ #2?

Question: Analyze the influence of TWO of the following on American-Soviet relations in the decade following the Second World War.</p>

Yalta Conference
Communist Revolution in China
Korean War
McCarthyism</p>

Essay:</p>

During World War II, the U.S. and the Soviet Union were allies. However, by the end of the Second World War they became increasingly suspicious of one another. The Yalta Conference and McCarthyism greatly impacted American-Soviet relations in a negative way in the decade following the War.</p>

After the defeat of Germany, the Allies had the task of determining what to do with Germany. It was decided at the Yalta Conference that Germany and the city of Berlin would be divided into four zones - one for France, Britain, the U.S. and the Soviet Union. It was also decided that the Soviets would allow for free elections in countries like Poland and offer help to the U.S. with the war with Japan. Although they somewhat helped with Japan, they did not allow for free elections in Easter Europe. Instead, the warsaw pact set up communist satellite countries to act as a military buffer zone for the Soviet Union. Tensions rose after the Soviets blatantly disregarded agreements made at the Yalta Conference. Tensions were even further increased when the Soviets cut off the railroads to Berlin - which would have allowed communism to take over Germany and the rest of Europe- Truman called for the Berlin Airlift. In short, the Yalta Conference and a few other developments in the decade following the war escalated tensions between the Soviet Union and the United States.</p>

As a response to the increased tension, McCarthyism spread like wild fire across the U.S. McCarthyism, similar to the Red Scare in the 1920’s, led to a witch hunt looking for commies. McCarthyism could even be seen in Hollywood. A Blacklist was compiled of suspected actors of being communists. Once put on one of these Blacklists, people were shunned and could not find a job. The HUAC was another committee formed to hunt down suspect Communists. The McCarren Internal Securities Act was implemented by the Federal Government to find and arrest suspected Communists within the Federal Government. The height of McCarthyism can be depicted when Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were accused of helping the Soviet Union by offering them American secrets about constructing the Atomic Bomb. At the time, there wasn’t any evidence worthy of convicting the couple. Yet, because of McCarthyism the couple was hanged.</p>

Overall the relationship between the U.S. and the Soviets deteriorated fast after World War II starting with the Yalta Conference. These views were adopted by the people of the U.S. which led to the ideology known as McCarthyism. These two things put together led to the opening of poor relations between the U.S. and the Soviet Union known as the Cold War. </p>

If you could just give it a score of 1-9 that would be great!</p>

I’m not going to give you a grade, but I’ll tell you what I recommend you do.</p>

First, shoot for a five-paragraph essay. Second, don’t use derogative/pejorative terms like “commie” on official tests like these. :P</p>

Overall, the essay was organized well. The introduction was awesome; it gets right to the point. Good job!</p>

if thats not at LEAST a 7-8 then I’m screwed haha…</p>

I thought that your essays was excellent. There was a high level of analysis and plenty of examples to support the thesis. Personally, I’m surprised you’ve managed to memorize so many details such as the Rosenbergs (which I don’t frankly care about as much). Definitely at least a 6, which is more then enough for a 5 if you do well on the multiple choice.</p>

If you wouldn’t mind, could you comment on my essay as well? Just let me know so I can post it in this thread.</p>

sure Ronaldo! do you mind also grading my other frq and dbq? ill send you a link after i look at yours.</p>

^
I’ll grade your other DBQ and FRQ too if you want.</p>

I’d say probably a 6. It began to sound a lot like you were just making a laundry list of facts at a certain point, and I didn’t think the analysis was very good.</p>