<p>Prompt: Can knowledge be a burden?
As we herald an era of innovation, from the telephone by Alexander Graham Bell, the aeroplane by the Wright Brothers to the internet by Tim Berners Lee, it is clear that technological innovation, spurred by the acquisition of knowledge is intrinsically linked with overall progress of the human race. However, everything has its drawbacks, that of knowledge being its propensity to be exploited. Knowledge can be perceived as a burden when it falls into the hands of those who are ill-equipped to maintain equinamity with its use.
Alfred Nobel, who set up the eponymous ‘Nobel Prize’, was the inventor of three explosives: cordite, gelignite and dynamite. Although he made dynamite as a stable alternative to nitroglycerine, used extensively in mining and responsible for killing his brother Emil, the use of these explosives in warfare undermined the principles of fraternity and pacifism he steadfastly believed in.
The Chernobyl and Fu-ku-shima Daichi nuclear disasters is another example where the quest for increased energy production lead to widespread devastation. Thousands perished, and many more were afflicted by maladies due to radiation exposure throughout their lives.
In an agriculturally intensive country such as India, we witness rampant overuse of fertilizers in an effort to increase output. Increased output and food security, two desirable consequences of innovation are accompanied by the loss of soil fertility and environmental degradation.
Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley, also illustrates the perils of the thoughtless pursuit of knowledge. Frankenstein, perceived as an abomination, ‘made of severed body parts and strange chemicals’, kills many of his creator’s loved ones and leads a life of despondency, hatred and solitude. In Macbeth, Macbeth’s knowledge of the prophecies of the trio of witches lead him to kill King Duncan and be lulled into a false sense of security about a Scottish general, Macduff, who ultimately beheads Macbeth.
Another instance of knowledge as a burden was depicted in an episode of ‘CSI NY’ in which Robert Browning, an exceptionally gifted scientist was murdered for inventing a time machine by his greedy assistant. Knowledge is power, and like power, it is inherently prone to misuse. One can therefore successfully conclude that knowledge can be a bane rather than a boon.</p>
<p>Rushed ending, please grade out of 12.</p>
<p>For a 15 year old you have a very good vocabulary, which is great. The essay you’ve written on this topic is good, but it could’ve been better.
You asserted more on facts, rather than personal opinion. When I read the prompt, I read with the mindset of learning your own personal opinion on the topic rather than a conclusion drawn from many instances.
And this essay sort of condemns the idea of gaining knowledge. At the end of the essay, you came across to me like you feel that knowledge is something evil and something which normal people shouldn’t have, and which is misused by 90% of the population. If that were true, I’m skeptical about whether globalization happened through some magical phenomena.
Do not feel like I’m condemning this essay, my point is that you are mostly talking of the ill caused by gaining knowledge, and being curious. It’s like you’re trying to demean the good power of knowledge. This essay is pretty damn good, just a bit short than it should be, I’d say, and it neglects the good side of the knowledge. Talk about symmetry more, if there’s a good side, there’s also a bad side. The best essay on this topic would make me feel like knowledge is a very important source for development but also a potentially a hazard if mistreated. Like, knowledge is a good servant, but a bad master.
You should enlighten the pros of knowledge as well as the cons. It’s a personal opinion, when an intelligent person reads an essay, he wants to know about your own personal opinion along with your knowledge of the topic. Good luck, I hope the force is with you. 
P.S. I really can’t say I’m fit enough to rate the essay, sorry.</p>
<p>Thank you @somebodyyouknow, I appreciate it. My personal opinion is to the contrary, I argued at the opposite side of the fence to challenge myself. I am an extremely curious person. 
The SAT essay requires you to be somewhat partisan, or atleast that’s the impression I get. I intended to convey that knowledge is a burden when one can’t handle it with equinamity, but that was all I could manage within the time limit. :)</p>
<p>But thank you, I’m always open to constructive criticism!</p>
<p>Well, if you’re giving the SAT I’d advise you against challenging yourself during taking the test, brush up your skills and you knowledge, read the newspaper and read autobiographies of people, that oughta help you out. I’d like to read another essay from you on the same topic, but this time I’d like to hear your own personal opinion, and I hope that would hel me understand you as a person and in the end I won’t be like ‘Hey, is knowledge a friend or foe? Should’ve I dropped out of school?’ Haha</p>
<p>@ofthepunjab, your essay is mindblowing. Literally. Your emphasis on general historical facts is pretty good considering you are no older than 15 years. But the fact that you have not put up any personal opinions of yours is well… Let down. I know you and you know me. The SAT requires you to strike a balance between appropriate examples as well as your personal views. I too am eagerly awaiting your ‘refined’ essay.
P.S. I have already rated you!</p>
<p>I personally think you went a bit overboard with all the examples, I would recommend 3 or 4 with more detail. Also you mentioned how Alfred Nobel started the Nobel prize but you didn’t mention that he created it because he was so upset that his inventions had become weapons of mass destruction! That would have been extremely relevant to your topic. It could be written like this:-</p>
<p>“Alfred Nobel was prolific inventor known for inventing the explosive dynamite. It was extremely helpful in mining however, it was also used as a weapon of destruction, causing many deaths. This malicious use of his invention undermined the principles of fraternity and pacifism he steadfastly believed in and motivated him to use the fortune he had amassed to set up the Nobel Prize, an award for those whose discoveries and inventions greatly benefit mankind.”</p>
<p>Now using this you show how his knowledge was used for good (mining )and bad purposes (warfare) which will bring out the symmetry and support your point that “knowledge’s weakness is its propensity to be exploited.” </p>
<p>So my recommendation would be to cut down on the number of examples and go for a few relevant ones like the Alfred Nobel one. I personally don’t think you need to take a partisan stand so you should make a balanced and rational proposition and then use relevant examples to support it. </p>
<p>Your example on India could be modified to show how food production in India skyrocketed with the advent of the Green Revolution but simultaneously its unrestricted use has had adverse effects on the soil. (if you’re from Punjab you should know more about this than me )</p>
<p>Another example related to the Green Revolution is the discovery of how to make ammonia synthetically. The story is very interesting, if you don’t know already, then google Franz Haber. He intended it to be used as a chemical weapon but his discovery led to the development of fertilizers which greatly increased the worlds carrying capacity.</p>
<p>PS Your vocabulary is really good, I’m jealous :P</p>
<p>Your essay is good, but it could definitely be better (coming from a kid with a perfect score on the writing section. 80/80 raw score and a 12 essay). </p>
<p>Your vocabulary is obviously very well developed, and that is very good for the SAT essay. Your examples, though very good for answering the prompt, are lacking. Instead of trying to pack your essay full of 5 different examples all proving the same point, try cutting it down to 3, or even 2. And instead of only mentioning each example lightly, then moving on, I recommend developing your examples more, and delving into them, to really show how they prove your thesis (which is very good by the way).</p>
<p>If you want to see some examples for 12 essays, go here:<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/409070-sample-sat-12-essays.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/409070-sample-sat-12-essays.html</a></p>
<p>As you can see, some of these essays even only have one example, but because it is explained so well, and proves their thesis, they can get a 12. (my essay is on the 10th page, by the way, if you want to look at it.)</p>
<p>and by the way, I disagree with all you people up there ^^^^^^^^. The SAT essay is not all about personal opinion, or a balance between opinion and facts. It never says this anywhere on the SAT. You can use all the facts you want, a personal opinion is just an add-on if you want to do it. In my essay, I used 3 hard examples, and no personal opinion at all, I even avoided personal pronouns throughout my entire essay, but I still got a 12, so… ya</p>
<p>Thank you r15h4bh, I’m an avid reader. I googled Franz Haber, it’s funny how the only name I’ve encountered all these years is Norman Borlaug’s! Could you or satman111 please score my essay? PS Thanks for the link satman111.</p>
<p>I also feel that it is perfectly okay if an essays examples are all facts and not based on personal opinion. And no, I don’t know how to grade an essay so all I can do is tell you what I think would have made it better. Sorry :)</p>
<p>I really like your essay, its very well written. I would give it 11/12.</p>
<p>@Ofthepunjab</p>
<p>Your paper is an eight. It would be a nine or a ten if you’d spent more time discussing the burdensome aspects of knowledge. </p>
<p>Also, what analysis you do provide is too often of a factual nature.</p>
<p>You don’t say much that I don’t already know.</p>
<p>Your essay, with its crazy superfulous vocabulary and plethora of facts, has solid examples that are well backed up. However I feel that your points are limited, in the sense that u only have one topic sentence. You should include more topic sentences i.e. more points</p>
<p>Thank you all! Yeah, I have a flowery style of writing, although I won’t say it’s superfluous. I hope it isn’t. :P</p>
<p>Depends on the reader! Haha sorry I’m not a big fan of big words, but they are good:)</p>