Grade my essay please :p

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Please grade my essay, I would appreciate any feedback - Thankyou :)</p>

<p>Prompt: Is deception ever justified?</p>

<p>Almost everyone in the world has decived another person atleast one time. Some people may have decived others on more important topics, while others may have used deception for minor issues. Deception is an integral part of life, but what it is used to accomplish is what determines weather it is just. Deception can be justified if used to help someone, or to make them feel better.
Throughout my lifetime many people have told me that Im good at something even if that may not be one hundred percent true, but this is accepted as just because it is said to help me. My sister is learning how to play the guitar and she is relativaly new to playing it, but she has the misconception that she is already a very good musician. I could proceed to tell her how I really feel, but in the end this would just hurt her self confidence and make her diffident. My conjecture is that the deception im using towards my sister is justified because its ultimate purpose is to help her gain self confidence and become better at playing the instrument.
Unfortunetly there are situations in which deception cannot be justified. When deception is uesd to intentionlly harm someone, it is never justified. In ‘The Diary of a Wimpy Kid,’ Greg the main character joins the crossing guards, which is a club that guides younger schoolchildren across streets. One day Greg forgets his uniform, so he asks his friend Rowly, who is off duty, if he could borrow his uniform, and Rowly, being the good friend that he is, agrees. While guiding the children across a street, Greg intentionally leads them the wrong way to avoid a group of bullies. While trying to avoid the bullies, Greg makes the young children fall into a deep hole. One of the neighbors sees this, and due to her poor vision, thinks that Greg is Rowly bescause of his uniform. The neighbor, being a good samaritan, immidealty phones the crossing guards and informs the organization of Rowly’s baneful actions, even though Greg was the true perpritrator. Greg uses the unjustifable type of deception and lets Rowly take the blame for his actions.
In many situations deception is neccesary and needs to be used. Deception can be justified if it is used to aid someone, or to help them but when it is used for personal gain or for harm it is never justified.</p>

2

<p>5/12 or 3/6 at worst.</p>

<p>I don’t consider myself qualified to give feedback, sorry.</p>

3

<p>You are supposed to choose one standpoint and argue for one side only, not both sides. Doing so makes you look like a flip-flop. You are supposed to demonstrate how well you can argue for ONE side in an essay, not compare/contrast 2+ sides.</p>

<p>0.</p>

4

<p>^Where did you get that idea? You’re supposed to “develop your point of view, present your ideas logically and clearly, and use language precisely.” If you want to say that there’s a gray region, from the instructions alone, you are allowed to go for it. As long as your critical thinking ability shows, you’re fine. If you read the sample 6/6 essay, “Is perfection a vice or virtue?” in the Blue Book, you’d understand that CB too thinks talking about both sides is fine.</p>

5

<p>I agree with crouch88, the collegeboard does not mind if you take both sides, and im positive that the essay I wrote will get more then a 0, since the lowest score you can get is a 2.</p>

6

<p>

^Bahahhahaahaha, you can’t be serious. Obviously you’ve never written an exam essay in your life. </p>

<p>calculix: 6-7/12. I’m really on the fence as to whether this is a 6 or 7, and even torn as to **whether<a href=“hint”>/b</a> to award this an 8.</p>

<p>Your argument of both sides is a good indicator of sound critical thinking, though your ideas are not expressed in exactly the right way. Your personal example lacked strength not in analysis, but in the lack of persuasion by detail. If you were to able to seamlessly add small details about yourself and your sister into your analysis, it would make your argument much more authoritative. Your second example spent too long recounting plot and lacked clarity, if a marker was to read it and not skim it (likely, given the moderate length of your essay) it could change his holistic impression of this essay from 4 to 3.</p>

<p>Also, try to vary your vocabulary and sentences a bit more. You have a lot of potential, keep at it!</p>

7

<p>Thankyou for your reviews :)</p>