<p>Qn: We most resent in others the very flaws that we ourselves possess.</p>
<p>Hi guys, I know this topic might have been graded before but i would like to put across a new perspective to this question. Hope you guys take time to read and grade it!</p>
<p>I believe witnessing one's own flaws manifest in another individual would not lead to resentment or hatred for him. On the contrary, one would more than likely start to reflect upon oneself and be emboldened to make a change. This concept or ideology can be best explained in the late Michael Jackson's "Man in the mirror". The mirror in this case assuming the role of a person with a similar flaw as oneself. However, I do believe resentment may be evoked if the flaw that the two individuals possess leads to a clash of personality. Furthermore, I would like to add on by saying that the flawlessness of a person would more than likely evoke jealously and ultimately resentment as compared to the former statement.</p>
<p>Beneath the closely knitted and bonded family image that my family holds is an underlying problem which has a lot of relevance to this topic. My Father and sister both have volatile temperaments, which have been the cause of heated arguments and the utter disdain for each other. This resentment has been due to the clash of personalities where both individuals' characters do not complement one another and not because they see in each other the same flaw that they share.</p>
<p>Adding on,the biblical phrase "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye when you yourself have a plank in you own eye" demonstrates the propensity for us to overlook our own misgivings as we analyse or judge others. This bible verse directly rebukes this claim and shows that in most cases, we look at others with a one-sided attitude,</p>
<p>Flawlessness might in some cases stir up hostile feelings and resentment. The example of how Jesus had to die on a cross despite being blameless illustrates the influence that jealousy has on our actions. Finding no fault in Jesus who in his time was a great missionary, the Pharisees were adamant to get him arrested and killed. If Jesus were just like the Pharisees, having similar flaws of pride and the love for materialistic gains, the Pharisees might well have left him alone.</p>
<p>The shared flaws that we might have with another person could well be bridges to build bonds. In a nutshell, the absence of such flaws could very well distance a person from others not like himself. However, if shared flaws could stir up animosity, it would most likely be due to the clash of personality instead.</p>
<p>Please grade it from 2-12. thanks a bunch! Feelfree to highlight to me my mistakes!</p>
<p>I do not understand the reference to Michael Jackson as you do not really expand on this aside from the first paragraph. Instead you touch briefly on your family then onto the bible. You have potential and I can see what you are trying to do but the whole thing feels very crowded and “wordy.” </p>
<p>Does that make sense? You need to pair it down. Write how you speak. It is way too formal. I think if you expanded more upon the issue in your family the essay would be more personal. It also feels like you are very distanced and austere. We should write what we know and what we feel. What you have written feels cold. Put yourself in your essay. Right now it is like your essay is a heavy victorian tapestry when I think you need a sheer white cotton.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your feedback! Yea i get what u mean by my essay being crowded. I think i try to describe too much? After reading through it myself I think i need to keep my writing concise. Sorry, but i m rather intrigued by your comment regarding my “aloofness” haha. Could u enlighten me on how to make my essay less austere-ish?</p>
<p>Well first let me say you do know how to write. But it feels like you are trying too hard and it also comes across very analytical/technical. It isn’t bad, in fact you might score fairly high. But you won’t get the elusive top score because I don’t hear your voice. I don’t feel there is any risk, but instead a blatant attempt to write for the sake of the grade and that is where you lose your voice while trying to crowd in so many formal words. </p>
<p>Relax, read some poetry or fiction and take a risk. Be different and don’t be scared to use colloquialism. Focus either on Michael Jackson, the bible or your family…not all three. And connect your feelings to the essay. There is beauty in simplicity and showing vulnerability. Don’t worry about sentence structure, in your yearning for perfection you become analytical and a bit sterile. </p>
<p>Be vulnerable, take risks, let the reader hear your voice, not what you think they want to hear. A long time ago I got a 5 on my ap English test and it wasn’t cause of technical writing. It was because I took a risk to be different, Im absolutely sure of that. Good luck!!</p>
<p>Haha guess i’ve been reading too many factual magazines and papers my whole life! I have never been involved with literature except maybe for a term or two. Okay, awesome feedback! I will try to work on it. I’m not too sure about how they would take to colloquialism though. If i’m not wrong i cannot use slang and terms like “Mom and Dad”? I’ll try to incorporate my own voice into my essays in the future! Thanks for your help mspearl!</p>