Grade my essay please!

<p>PROMPT: Is censorship justified? </p>

<pre><code> Censorship, depending on the context, can either be benign or deteritorating to people of all ages. Several examples from a football event, the music industry, and a ostracized nation exemplify this notion.

Recently at the Superbowl XLVI, female rapper M.I.A. performed at the halftime show in front of 38 million American viewers. Unfortunately, MIA made an offensive gesture, and since the show was filmed live, the producers were unable to censor such an erratic action. Understandably, this gesture incited controversy-- people were outright disgusted at such an irreverent and callous motion. In fact, every year, millions of children watch the Superbowl, because all of their "heros" are playing on the field; ergo, with million of children watching the show, explicit material should be strictly coerced. As adults, we have the obligation to shield the cherubic minds of children of children—thus, it is necessary for censorship to be enforced on television since it has the potential to influence so many children out there.

Similarly to tv shows, music also is regulated for profanity. Just like television, music contains much vulgar speech that should be bulwarked from kids. The result of censoring music is actually quite cogent: One day, my little brother was listening to the radio, and began singing along to a song that had a gamut of profanity. To my astonishment, for all the parts that were bleeped and blurred out, my brother filled in words such as “dumb, silly and weird.” The innocence of my dear little brother made me appreciate the positive effect of censorship for omitting the vulgarity of the song. Therefore, because of censorship, children can sustain a pure and innocent mind that is vital for their age.

In retrospect, the mass censorship of media in North Korea illustrates the problems that could arise, such as a lack of development and knowledge. Because North Korea is ruled by a dictator, the government completely underscores the importance of worshipping and obeying the leader, which digresses focus from modernization. Thus, the technology, cars, infrastructure, medical procedures, and books are all outdated. In this case, censorship forbids the inhabitants from perceiving that the rest of the world is advancing my more quickly. In this situation, censorship is deleterious to human development.

After analyzing North Korea, music and the Superbowl-- censorship, indeed, relies on the context of the situation. Ultimately, censorship can be effective—it just has to be used prudently.

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<p>Very solid essay. 11 or 12 out of 12 depending on the reader. </p>

<p>Nice extensive use of difficult vocab words. </p>

<p>Good analyses of the examples. </p>

<p>Very effective conclusion…</p>

<p>Not much to say but that. I could be picky but I don’t have the time and it’s not that worth it reading the overall effect of this essay =D</p>