Grade my essay please?

<p>This is the 5th essay I have written for the SAT so far. Please tell me what is done well and what can be improved! Thanks!</p>

<p>Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is?</p>

<p>The manipulation of appearances can affect how we perceive reality. This is made apparent through examples such as Othello, where the antagonist, Iago, conveniently misleads everyone in the play or in the enron scandal where executives had used a serie of elaborate schemes to trick investors into believing their company was doing well.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by the cunning actions of Iago, appearances often differ from reality. Through the poison of his words, Iago was able to convince Othello that his wife was cheating on him with his lieutant Cassio. To achieve this feat, Iago had to deftly manipulate appearances in order to influence Othello’s perception of reality. Iago used Othello’s jealous nature in order to make him fall from grace, that is, he fed him with lies to make him believe there was something going on between Cassio and Desdemona. Furthermore, Iago used Othello’s handkerchief to stir jealous feelings within the moor. He placed it in a way that made it seem like Desdemona had left it Cassio’s possession. Themes of trickery, deceit and appearances versus reality are present throughout the play exemplifying how appearances and reality can be very different. </p>

<p>As shown by the Enron scandal of 2001, appearances do not always convey a true sense of what is really happening. In October 2001, the financial world had its on the enron corporation, which is a huge energy company in the US. At that time, it was revealed that the company had billions of dollars of debt and was, contrary to appearances, not doing so well. Keneth Lay, the founder of the company, along with other top executives used several different financial schemes to belie the company’s financial status. Investors were flabbergasted when the value of the Enron stock severely plummetted. The enron corporation was forced to declare bankruptcy after its use of sly methods to hide billions of dollars of debt was discovered. This was one of the biggest bankruptcy cases of all time in the United States. As we can see, although the Texas based energy company appeared to be doing well, it really wasn’t which is even more proof that appearances can be misleading.</p>

<p>To conclude, after a careful analysis of Iago from Othello and the enron scandal we can easily see that appearances can fail to give an accurate description of what is really happening. Both examples previously explained showed how the manipulation of facts alter our perception of reality.</p>

<p>5/6. Work on your grammar, and stop giving the impression that you’re feeding simple words into a thesaurus and spitting out big ones that take away from your piece rather than add IMO.</p>

<p>Your conclusion isn’t very good either. “To conclude…” is what students are taught to do in elementary school. I think that you could be a little more insightful at the end.</p>