Grade my essay please?

<p>Please tell me what can be improved!!!
Thanks</p>

<p>Do people need to unlearn or reject many of their assumptions and ideas?</p>

<p>The flow of ideas is something that is always changing and the therefore, people need to give up old ideas and replace them with newer ones that will better fit the current world. Several examples, such as Galileo, Othello and the Enron scandal help to prove this point.</p>

<p>In the 1600’s, most people assumed that the earth was at the center of the universe, mainly because of the catholic church’s propaganda. Today, because of the efforts of Galileo, we know that this is not true. People had to experience a paradigm shift. It was difficult at first because the idea of an earth center solar system had been around for so long. This example is proof that nothing is set in stone and that anything even the most persistent ideas can be changed. The process of unlearning something is difficult but sometimes it is absolutely necessary in order to ensure that the people are not given misleading information. What is the most difficult is accepting that something we have been led to believe for so long might be wrong. Therefore, as society experiences changes, one must adapt one’s ideas and assumptions to make them fit in the modern era.</p>

<p>As showed by the play Othello, people often need to realize that their assumptions might be filled with errors. The character Iago is seen throughout the play as an honest man. That is what the people are led to believe and that is what they assume as true. However, by the end of the play, the other characters, because of an influx of information, realize that Iago is the most cunning character of the play. As the flow of information and ideas evolved, the characters had to adapt to the changing circumstances and had to unlearned what they viewed as true. What we can learn from this example is the context and the situation is in constant movement over time. Therefore, we need to be ready to reject past ideas in order to make space for new and updated ones that better fit the current situation.</p>

<p>Finally, as shown by the Enron Scandal, the way we perceive or see things is always evolving. In 2001, the world learned that the Enron Corporation, an energy company, had lied about its financial status and therefore past positive views about the firm had to be abandoned by the people in order to accommodate a new idea: the concept that this Houston based company was no so great after all. This paradigm shift, although difficult was definitely necessary for the people.</p>

<p>As time goes by, and we move further and further into the future, we will experience many occasions where we will be obliged to modify or to adapt our ideas in order for them to fit in an ever changing world.</p>

<p>I don’t know if you managed to do that in 25 minutes or not but in the actual environment of the sat, aim for 2 examples instead of 3. However, if you feel confident in your speed, and you think 25 minutes is really good time for a SOLID 5 paragraph essay, go ahead. Otherwise your essay is well thought out and answers the question. 10/12. Those missing 2 points were taken out because I feel like you could make your essay more profound in nature and structure. Also a few mechanics errors were present but those aren’t as important.</p>

<p>Hey thanks for your comments! Yeah I do 3 examples if I can think of 3 but most of the time I do just two. I’m a little confused as to what you mean by “more profound in nature and structure” would you mind elaborating a little bit? Oh and I posted up a new one that I just wrote, this time with only two examples, would you mind checking it out if you have time?
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/1505566-grade-my-essay-please.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/1505566-grade-my-essay-please.html&lt;/a&gt;
And Again thank you so much for the feedback!</p>

<p>I think you’d get 11/12.</p>

<p>All I mean is you should try to catch the readers eye. That’s what separates 10’s from 12’s and 8’s from 10’s. Make the reader want to read your essay. These guys go through thousands of these. I wouldn’t focus on this too much though. As you practice more and more and you write more and more, that profoundness in your essays builds up on its own.</p>