Grade my essay please

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<p>I was hoping someone could grade this essay for me. I wrote it in 25 minutes and copied it exactly as I wrote it, including the grammatical and spelling errors. I also lied a little bit throughout the essay, just tell me what you think.</p>

<p>Does the demands of others tend to make people more productive than they would be without such pressure?</p>

<p>The natural way of work around the world revolves around demand and deadlines flowing through the chain of command. This notion, however ubiquitous, is false. People tend to work extremely better when they have their free time and work habits. It is evident through both literture and a couple of successful figures that onw needs freedom in work to create better results.</p>

<p>Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, founders of "Apple Inc." and the pioneers of personal computer revolution' are paragons of the power of work absent the demand of others. They created "Apple" without the pressure of anyone; working together on the first Apple computer in Jobs family garage, the came up with one of the most revolutionary items in human history. They took their time to complete their product in the most perfect way possible. This team shows how there is no need for higher authority demands to bring good results.</p>

<p>Holden Caulfield, the protagonist in the renown novel by J.D Salinger "The Catcher in the Rye"' is a second example of ther need of freedom for productivity. Through the book, Holden gets numerous advices and demands from people such as his history teacher and sister. All the of those figures fail to make him realize hid impetuous behaviour and rage. Only bu a long process of several events and choices he regrets, Holden realizes his opinion that everyone is a"phony" is too decisive. J.D salinger teaches the reader that self process is much more useful than pressuring process.</p>

<p>Finally, the last model of non demanding workplace is "Google". "Google" is a large corporation specializing in Internet service. That company employs the thought that work should be chalenginh, innovative and fun. "Google" does not put pressure on its workers and even supply them with boutiful attractions in the workplace such as ping-pong table and slides. This kind of attitude emenates innovation and brings great results. "Google" is today one of the most successful companies in the world and its way of work shows how people work better withouts demands and deadlines.</p>

<p>Through three example from successful comanies and literature, it is easily seen that the most productive people and places are those who do not put pressure on their employees.</p>

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<p>You dont have to put quotation marks around company names. Google is also sometimes used as a verb so you might want to add quotation marks then if you think there was ambiguity, but not when referring to the company. </p>

<p>The prompt asks about if people are more “productive”. Your response should address why productivity is or is not increased. I’d also mention that you smuggled in the idea of a chain of command higher authority which isnt there in the prompt. The prompt just asked about “others”, which could be teachers, parents, friends, investors or society in general. </p>

<p>I am not particularly swayed by the Apple example. They built an early computer, so did a lot of companies, is that the demonstration of productivity? Did they really not have pressure from investors, parts suppliers, distribution chain? From other companies who were releasing their own models into the market?</p>

<p>The Catcher in the Rye thing didnt resonate for me at all. Where is the productivity in here? </p>

<p>Your Google example has the most promise. It would be better if you were more specific in talking about the company though. Obviously some parts of it, like ad sales, are very competitive and pressure oriented. But there are parts where people are given very loose direction and allowed to follow their own research interests, resulting in some things like Google Glasses and the self driving car. If you mention those things you have tied productivity very specifically to independence. </p>

<p>Your structure is good, but overall the essay suffers from the examples not strongly addressing the prompt in a way that will convince the grader of your thesis.</p>

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<p>CB has been trying to create prompts that defy cookie-cutter responses.</p>

<p>This is just such a prompt.</p>

<p>I’d like to see you do this essay using zero pre-memorized “examples.” (I’m not saying that in a facetious way; I really believe you’d have written a better paper without them.)</p>

<p>In no way whatsoever does Catcher have anything to do with this prompt.</p>

<p>This prompt asks you to discuss how people function under certain conditions. Therefore, the Google example doesn’t help you either.</p>

<p>From the standpoint of mechanics and grammar, this is fine. Little errors in usage don’t count.</p>