Grade my essay please!

<p>Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power?</p>

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<p>Money, fame, and power as motivators are solely the result of society. Human nature, as MLK says, bends to the side of goodness. This is not to say that money, fame, and power are evil, but they are indeed weaker motivators. After all, people want to live happy lives, and many times that requires rejecting the path to large sums of money, a spot on TV, or a respectable position of dominance. </p>

<p>After my father graduated from college, he was presented with the ever-so-common "fork in the road." His choices: accept a free ride to a top law school, or use the knowledge he gained in college to help the family antique business. Graduates of such a prestigious law school were bound to be recruited to top law firms, where they would be assured steady sums of money and a prominent title. However, my father hated the idea of studying law, let alone making a living from it. On the other hand, he loved working for my grandfather as an appraiser. He'd spent countless hours studying art and furniture. Despite the weaker salary potential, his conscience swayed him towards his passion.</p>

<p>Wesley Autrey was a tired construction worker when he decided to risk his life to save someone else. His two daughters held his hand in the dim light of the underground subway, when suddenly, a man had an epileptic seizure and fell helplessly onto the tracks of an oncoming subway. Wesley did not question whether he'd receive money, fame, or glory if he leapt for the man. In fact, he knew there was no such present on the other side of the track. Nevertheless, he felt it was his moral, conscious duty to aid the flailing man. He jumped onto him and restrained him as the car passed, thus saving his life in the name of goodness, not money, fame, or power. </p>

<p>In both examples, men are presented with choices that question character. Although the first example is clearer in its point about conscience over money, both represent the strength of the conscience, and how deeply ingrained its directions can be. In both such cases, the men, in the end, indirectly received all three gifts (money, power, and fame). Ergo, your conscience is not only a stronger motivator, but it can also lead to unexpected, less-important benefits.</p>

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<p>Completed in 25 minutes, so please take that into account and grade it like the SAT people would. </p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

<p>I would give it a 9. It had some nice examples, but three examples is always the best way to go. Also, the second example could have been elaborated on. Good usage of vocabulary and nice quote. Just work on development a tad more and you’ll be in the double digits for sure.</p>

<p>alrighty, thanks for the input! :D</p>

<p>bump please :p</p>

<p>I’d give it a 12. Great essay!</p>