Grade my essay? please

<p>Are widely held views often wrong, or are such views more likely to be correct?</p>

<p>Widely held views are usually incorrect due to false or weak justification. Several examples from history and literature clearly demonstrate that widely held views are most likely incorrect.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by the slave trade, which gained increasing popularity throughout the 18th and 19th century, but by the 21st century was viewed as immoral, showing that ubiquitous ideas are usually wrong. At the beginning of the 18th century only 15% of the plantations across America used slave labor; however, by the start of the 19th century over 95% of the plantations in America used slave labor. The justification for the slave trade was that the dark skin of the Africans was a sign of inferiority sent by God. The idea of slavery became so prevalent across the world that in 1778 over 123 countries were practicing some sort of slavery. The view that slavery was morally justified was expressed all throughout the world during the time of the slave trade. However, Lincoln abolished slavery and in a recent poll taken in 2003 99.2% of all responses said that slavery was immoral and unjust. Therefore, the immense popularity and then the downfall of slavery proves that prevalent notions in society will in retrospect most likely be deemed as incorrect.</p>

<p>In the novel Hamlet by Shakespeare, Hamlet sets of on a quest to denounce the widely held belief that his father’s death was a suicide. When King Hamlet was murdered by Claudius, a wide spread belief formed stating that the king had committed suicide. However, the ghost of the dead king told Hamlet that contrary to the widespread belief, he was actually murdered by Claudius. Hamlet then sets off on a mission in order to disprove the incorrect idea that his father had committed suicide which had marred the Hamlet name. In the end, Hamlet causes Claudius himself to admit to the murder and the entire country of Denmark realizes that the prevalent belief of the king’s suicide had been based of erroneous information. Hence, the quickly popularized belief that King Hamlet had committed suicide which nearly everyone in Denmark believed except Hamlet was debunked. This proves that one should check the basis and facts of a widely held view before joining in belief.</p>

<p>After a careful analysis of the slave trade and Hamlet, one can see that widely held views are indeed often erroneous. Without widely held views being often incorrect, society would be propelled by mass appeal, which would quickly lead to chaos.</p>

<p>Thanks in advance! And if you could could you please include how I could make it better? This is just my first try so any advice would be very much appreciated.</p>

<p>Pretty darn good for a first effort, but I’ve got a few comments. </p>

<h1>1 - Your first sentence…are widespread views USUALLY incorrect? Not really, right? Often is a better word. But, I read that sentence and was immediately turned off because you made a statement that just isn’t true. Actually, you make a lot of these kinds of sweeping statements in the essay…i.e. “prevalent notions in society will in retrospect most likely be deemed as incorrect.” Just be careful what you say.</h1>

<h1>2 - You don’t really have an introductory paragraph. Two sentences just doesn’t qualify as a paragraph, but I like that you’re very clear about your position.</h1>

<h1>3 - Your slavery example is excellent, but it reads like you’ve just taken a test on it, and are throwing in lots of data to show what you know. A lot of the information is interesting and likely true, but what does it have to do with the assignment? One example of the prevalence of the belief that slavery was acceptable is enough. Just be sure you stay on track.</h1>

<h1>4 - Your Hamlet example is also very good, and I’m with you till the last sentence of the paragraph. You’re saying that a widely held belief could be true and factual, when your position is that they aren’t true.</h1>

<h1>5 - Read your concluding sentence again. Is this at all true? You’re making a HUGE logical leap here, and you’ve just negated all the progress you’ve made with me in arguing your point. Again, be careful what you say.</h1>

<p>I’d probably give this a 4. You writing is very clear, and I don’t have trouble understanding your sentences, so that’s a strength. But you have a tendency to generalize and get a little off track, so those are weaknesses. Just stick to the assignment and develop your introduction and conclusion a bit more, and you’ll improve.</p>