Grade my Essay?

<p>Hi guys! Please score my essay. My essay is kinda crappy in my opinion, but when I submitted it on the collegeboard online course, it gave me a score of 12. Usually on the real test I receive a score of 10 with these kind of writing and examples. However, I usually only incorporate 2 examples on the testing day. I heard somewhere that 3 solid examples with adequate analysis is enough to get someone a 12. Anyway, please look at my essay and share your thoughts :)</p>

<p>Prompt: Are people's lives a result of their actions?</p>

<p>For centuries, the lives of people around the world have been altered through their responses to adversities and unexpected events. With this in mind, I wholeheartedly believe that people's lives are the result of their responses to the circumstances they encounter. Franklin Delano Roosevelt's New Deal, Zulu War, and the Native American experience in colonial america exemplify the idea that people's lives are the result of the decision they make. </p>

<p>Franklin Delano Roosevelt responded to the Great Depression with the implementation of the New Deal. The New Deal was Franklin Roosevelt's domestic agenda to combat the Great Depression. The New Deal drastically improved the lives of the unemployed in a variety of ways. For example, the FDI enabled the unemployed to gain access to jobs that normally were limited to middle class and upper class. By helping the lower class and unemployed gain access to jobs such as artisans and bankers, Franklin Delano roosevelt effectively altered the lives of the unemployed for the better despite the occurrence of the Great Depression. Additionally, the Wagner Act further eased the lives of the unemployed by giving the unemployed laborers the right to bargain collectively. This implementation crafted by Franklin Roosevelt enabled laborers to cooperate more smoothly with their employers. Without a doubt, Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal effectively altered the lives of the unemployed.</p>

<p>The Native American experience in colonial america is another testimony to the idea that the lives of people around the world are altered through their responses to adversities. Throughout the 17th century, the Iroquois have been controlled by the english colonists. However, through the action of the commander Tutkanu, the Iroquois army was able to defeat George Cluster's colonial army at the Battle of Little Big Horn. This victory for the Iroquois would not have been possible if it wasn't for Tutkanu's strict army tactics on his native american troops. As a result of rigorous training, the Iroquois army no longer had to assimilate to the christian ideologies of the colonists. Moreover, the Iroquois was seen as a stronger group of people as opposed to a weak group of people before the implementation of rigorous army tactics on the Iroquois by Tutkanu.</p>

<p>The Zulu Wars is another exemplary of the ideology that the lives of people around the world are altered through their responses to adversities. For example, the commander Zolythington responded to the imperializing British forces by giving his soldiers an intensive workout to get rid of the British soldiers. Under Zolythington's command, his soldiers were not allowed to sleep without training more than 8 hours each day. Moreover, he implemented strict punishments on those who failed to do so. With this implementation of strict discipline, the Zulu army successfully defeated the British at the battle of Islandwana. This had the effect of allowing the Zulus to transcend over the British oppression and keep their own land. Furthermore, the Zulus suppressed the British's White Supremecy and gave the Zulu nation a much better military defense.</p>

<p>Overall, people's lives are a result of the responses they make to unfavorable circumstances. Franklin Delano Roosevelt's New Deal, the Native American experience in colonial america, and the Zulu Wars exemplify the idea that the lives of people around the world are altered through their responses to challenges. </p>

<p>ok the satonlinecourse by collegeboard doesn’t accurately grade the essays because I copied and pasted this essay onto an entirely different essay prompt and it received a 12 a well. </p>