<p>This is one of my essays. How could I improve it? It is what top colleges are looking for. I got the question from UPENN to which I am not applying b/c they dont have good finaid program, YET hopefully. </p>
<p>What essay is about? Or somethign like that
(a) Evaluate a significant occasion when you made a decision you now know was right and its impact on you. </p>
<p>How does the essay represent you (something like that)?</p>
<p>(b) I feel that this essay represents my character, growth, and potential. As I evaluated my life to answer the question, I came to discover the circumstances in which I know positive change occurred. I now understand that I can be empathetic and passionate, and still be a young black man who possessess a strength of will, the mind, and the heart. Through the experience, I have been able to understand characteristics that I have possessed all my life as well as how experiences can force you to come to terms with your situation and who you are. This essay represents an understanding of the consequences of actions. It further represents a transition in my life and view of the world in which I live. I think that in its entirety what this essay exemplifies most about me is the ability to take a situation, though difficult to go through, and come out of it with an understanding and a lesson that I can apply throughout the rest of my life, including my journey as a student at ..... (school name)</p>
<p>When my mother decided to leave my father, two days before my senior year, I was forced to make a difficult choice I now know was the best thing to do. Although I remember the day distinctly, the whole ordeal, in essence, was a small surprise, simply because my parents had separated several times before. Their relationship is one I have scrutinized my entire life and a struggle between them is as magnificent as a war between countries. My two younger sisters take no part in this fight; they appear to be as isolated as America in a European conflict. I, on the other hand, always find myself on duty as mediator; an unfavorable position for even the most powerful nation. </p>
<p>After having spent the past 2 1/2 years in Auburn, my mother decided the Twenty-three Years' War would be over. Upon Hearing her outline of Operation: Leave, I paced the room disassociated from the present. I reflected on the steady changes of residence to and from Philadelphia, constantly having to play catch-up with schoolwork and the obligations of being a big brother. As I regained my composure, I took a seat in the battered, brown recliner and speculated about the repercussions of disobeying my mother's orders. In general, her word was final. My choices were limited, and I found myself between a rock and a hard place. </p>
<p>Although my mom knew how I felt, my understanding of her hardships would not allow me to voice my decision to stay. Instead, I attempted to escape fate and fled to the library. Hopefully, I thought that when I returned to the house, she would either be there or on a bus to Pennsylvania. Trying to avoid her, I slid out of the recliner, crept out the house, dove from the front steps, and practically ran to what has been a refuge all my life, knowledge. My mother, however, was equipped with an army I was not prepared to face. </p>
<p>As I trekked past the "old projects," then the forest of bamboo guarded by chirping crickets, I was halted as my mother's friend, an ex-marine, pulled her vehicle in my path. She politely, yet commandingly said, Get in. Mentally transfixed, I watched myself get into the backseat of that blue, dodge minivan and sit next to my sisters. As soon as the seatbelt clicked, the interrogation began. She questioned me about my mother's life and the potentially violent reaction of my father, almost as if I didn't know. I knew about my mother's pain, my father selling food stamps for money, drinking and smoking marijuana; the abuse. It wasn't a movie to me; I lived it. Yes, it hurt my heart to hear, and I wouldn't try to stop her from leaving, but I had to stay. </p>
<p>The decision wasn't for my father, or to spite my mother, but to attain something after sacrificing so much to an existence of which I had no choice. For most of my life, I subsisted in Philadelphias ghetto, and I knew about "the projects" before BET and "The Diaries of Jay-Z." The truth was, that to stay in Auburn meant being surrounded by a neighborhood of depreciation, but also to surround myself, educationally with resources of success and the possible achievement of my life's aspirations. As the soldier continually spoke- every word a bombardment of my heart; I persistently argued my case. During my entire visit at the library, the flat sound of the van's engine repeatedly played in my mind. </p>
<p>The following days passed, until school began, with limited conversation between my mother and I. And, if left to me, my father will always be ignorant as to the details of that day. I stood fast in my decision, and after fighting within myself for months, I now know it was worth it. My feelings during that day allowed me to discover that the ability to make the right choices has a profound impact on survival. Today, when I look in my mother's eyes I know that, yes, my decisions affect me, but more importantly, they influence everyone's life I touch. I understand that the decision maker must bear the burden of his or her choices. Ultimately, I discovered that for the rest of my life, I must stand at attention with this truth in my heart, always armed and ready to decide.</p>