Should I use this essay? Supposed to be different, Common App, Other Topic

College Essays
1

<p>I'm trying to show that I matured in a way, and that I'm a different person, a better person. However, I tried to show it in a way that was more unusual. I hope they remember me as the "Gorilla" kid.</p>

<p>I'm probably not going to use this one. It seems kind of try-hard to me. My other essay is more direct, using the "Who is you hero" prompt, and saying my father is my hero because he's not who I want to be.</p>

<p>Can anyone read this and tell me if it is good enough to warrant proofreading/rewriting? I kind of want to drop it right now, but I want to get other opinions first.</p>

<p>Can anyone give feedback?</p>

<p>I'm applying:</p>

<p>Dartmouth
Cornell
Penn
Stanford
Northwestern
Tufts
Brown
Emory
Cal
UCLA
UofC
Washington at St. Louis
GW
Vandy
etc.</p>

<p>So please don't do it if you're applying to these.</p>

2

<p>I won't be applying to any of those (I'm staying in Jersey). I'd love to read it. PM me :)</p>

3

<p>College freshman. =]</p>

4

<p>Anyone else? I'd like to hear from anyone who thinks they can lend a hand!</p>

5

<p>hey. my essay is kinda the same thing... about how i improved from a shy to confident kid. i'd be glad to read your essay! =)</p>

6

<p>pm it over not 09 so no worries</p>

7

<p>send it over ill read it</p>