Grade my essay!!!!!!!

<p>Hi,
On the ACT practice test it tells me to score my own essay, which I can't really do. So score it (honestly) and give me feedback. Be brutally honest!</p>

<p>Prompt: In your opinion, should teenagers be required to maintain a "C" average in school before receiving a driver's license?</p>

<pre><code> I think that teenagers shouldn't be required to maintain a "C" average before receiving a driver's license because grades are unrelated to driving abilities.
For all teenagers, getting a driver's license is a long process. Completion of the process indicates that teenagers are ready to drive on their own. All teenagers are required to pass a permit test, which tests knowledge of driving rules and regulations. Additionally teenagers must pass a 1-2 wek long driver's education course. Memorizing driving rules and passing a course aren't enough; teenagers are also required to take driving lessons and pass a driving test.
Completing all of these steps indicates that a driver is ready to take the next step--driving without a parent or driving instructor in the passenger's seat. This is analogous to a student who completed his homework and passed his final exam in a math course--this student can move on to the next level. Moving on to the next level is determined by the individual's mastery of all aspects of the current level. Passing a driving test is considered mastery, and passing the math final is considered mastery. Whether or not a student could tell you about glycolysis, the Cold War, or mathematical models is irrelevant. What matters is that the driver has command of driving knowledge and skills and the ability to follow the rules.
Some argue that students who maintain less than a "C" average are less responsible. Maybe they're less responsible about completing their homework or studying for upcoming tests and quizzes. However, that doesn't indicate that such students are irresponsible in other areas of their lives. While they may be irresponsible in respect to their schoolwork, they still can demonstrate a high level of responsibility by babysitting their 5 siblings or working 6-hour shifts at Dunkin Donuts every day. Thus it cannot be concluded that irresponsible students are incapable of driving responsibly by following the rules of the road.
A relationship between grades and driving abilities doesn't exist because they test completely different things--ability to follow road rules versus strong study skills. Grades certainly correlate to areas in a student's life outside the classroom. Statistics show that students who have completed more years of instruction in a given subject perform better on the ACT than students who didn't take as many classes. Statistics for the SAT show that students with an A+ average score approximately 200 points higher than students getting D's ad F's. None of this comes as a surprise; the SAT and ACT test areas such as reading, writing, and math--3 subjects taught in schools. Not taught in schools is how to parallel park or make a 3-point turn, which explains why there is no documented correlation between grades and driving skills. When driving above the speed limit, an A+ student has the same probability of getting into an accident as a D or F student.
Legislators should not consider making a law that students who don't maintain a "C" average can't get a driver's license, until the day that significant statistical evidence is gathered about a correlation between grades and driving skills. I believe that such statistical evidence will never be established, allowing students of all GPAs to hit the roads.
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<p>I love how 21 people viewed this thread yet no one would grade my essay. As I mentioned above…if you read my essay and find that it deserves a 1, go ahead and say so. Be brutally honest.</p>

<p>This is pretty good- however, watch your conjunctions. Make sure that can’t is cannot and shouldn’t is should not, etc. You also had a spelling error or two, no big deal. Numbers should be spelled out. Overall, pretty easy to read and flowed relatively well. THe very end got a bit confusing, around the SAT section.</p>

<p>thanks so much for your feedback – i really appreciate all of it!
for the people who look at this thread if you could give me a number out of 6, it’d really help me so that i can try to make improvements accordingly. thanks!</p>

<p>I’d give this an 11/12. (can’t choose between 5 or 6)
It is pretty good and you have a lot of content. Just use more vocabulary. Other than that, I’m surprised that you did all of this in 30 minutes.</p>

<p>You want the fail-proof grading system? Take out 2 pieces of paper that are wide ruled. If you can write around 3 pages in 30 min. you get at least a 10. simple as that.</p>

<p>Write like you did in grade school and you can get a 10 at least…</p>

<p>Thanks for the feedback so far! Haha I hear that length is VERY important…but unfortunately my essay didn’t fill all the pages! (There was still another page left)</p>

<p>^ then yeah u get a 10. An 11-12 is like 3 and a fourth at least pages.</p>

<p>Oh, ok! Well, if it was a bit longer, I’d give it a 6/11. But because of the length, its a 5/10. Just spruce it up a bit, add some explanatory sentences, and write bigger! :)</p>

<p>Thanks so much for the feedback guys! I still have 2 practice tests left in the book so hopefully by the end of the third one I will get where I need to be for the essay :)</p>

<p>^ i.e. you will scribble over 3 pages of incoherent BS and get an 11. lol if it gets the results why not.</p>

<p>haha that’s how I see it :)</p>

<p>I’d try a catchier first sentence. I think the graders really go for those…like use a quote, or open with questions, or a description of a scenario.</p>

<p>id try a better intro. im torn between 4 or 5. so ill give you a 9 overall</p>

<p>I’d definitely give that a 5 or a 6. In fact, I did that essay recently from the REAL book.</p>

<p>don’t use contractions</p>