<p>Ok so this is my first ever SAT essay. I realize that there are a lot of "grade my essay" threads, i apologize i can't really afford those online SAT courses which include essay grading. </p>
<p>So here's the whatever its called:
No great man lives in vain. The history of the world is but the biography of great men. </p>
<p>Assignment:
Can the daily actions of average people have a significant impact on the course of history?</p>
<p>Here is my essay:
Every person alive or dead has made a significant impact in someone's life. The notion that no great man dies in vain is true. From reading the novel about a man who thought his life was a waste, to listening to an incredible singer explaining how her boyfriend's death led her to bigger things.</p>
<p>The novel “The five people you meet in Heaven” talks about Eddie, an average maintenance man who thought his life is a waste. Eddie met five people in heaven who explained how his life significantly affected those people’s lives. The fifth person Eddie meets is this little girl who belied his opinions about his life, explaining how Eddie being just a maintenance man saved hundreds of lives and kept children safe in an amusement park.</p>
<p>During a concert, I listened to a Broadway singer who cried about her boyfriend’s death. She grieved about his death for months, until she found something that made her feel good the way her loved one did. With her singing abilities she used it to raise money and help build homes for people in poverty, she realized doing this helped her get over her loved one’s death.</p>
<p>Eddie lived a life day by day just doing his job as a maintenance man, and discovered how his life kept hundreds of people alive as well as keep children safe. The death of a boyfriend led a Broadway singer to discover that providing food and shelter for the poor help get over the grief of her boyfriend’s death. Every life in this world has a purpose that can change everything. </p>
<p>advice on how to improve is appreciated :)</p>
You really can write a lot more in 25 minutes. Elaborate your introduction and state a ** thesis **. You must always establish a main idea in your introduction in the form of a thesis. Your examples were alright, but you did not link them to your main idea (which wasn’t stated). Follow up each example with something that sums it up and relates it to your essay. For example you could state that even though Eddie was an average person, he made a significant impact on the lives of many. Don’t let the reader guess what you’re trying to convey. </p>