<p>Hi guys, I am relatively new to college confidential and am wondering if anyone would give me some feedback on a practice sat essay I took. Please be as blunt and critical as you can, "speak daggers" and please please give honest feedback. A hypothetical score from 1 to 6, just like the sat, would be great. Thanks! </p>
<p>"Time has a doomsday book, on whose pages he is continually recording illustrious names. But as often as a new name is written there, an old one disappears. Only a few stand in illuminated characters never to be effaced."
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
ASSIGNMENT:
Are there some heroes who will be remembered forever? Or are all heroes doomed to be forgotten one day? Plan your response, and then write an essay to explain your views on this issue. Be sure to support your position with specific points and examples. (You may use personal examples or examples from your reading, observations, or, knowledge of subjects such as history, literature, science.)</p>
<p>Essay-
Though history has a tendency to erase the grandeur of those who were “great” in the past, there are a select few heroes who will endure the test of time. Those who affect the very people of society and elicit a change that is continually felt and experienced in everyday life are the ones who can be counted among the few who history remembers. One such hero is Martin Luther King Jr.,who through his resounding impact on society will be remembered for the ages yet to come.</p>
<pre><code> An advocate for social reform, Martin Luther King Jr. pushed for the social and economical equality of all. His message was clear and simple; everyone has an innate right to participate and have a voice in the human community. Relying on this principle, Martin Luther King Jr. made his ever famous “I have a dream” speech and captured the hearts and souls of millions of people world wide and brought the notion of equality to the forefront of the American peoples’ minds.
Though Martin Luther King would be killed for his views, his message of hope and participation matured and far out lived him. Because of his sacrifice and never-ceasing effort to critically change the overall view of society, equality was made a closer and far more realistic goal than it had ever been before. In essence, Martin Luther King Jr. set in motion a series of events and reforms that we as a people still experience and acknowledge everyday, the notion of equality among our fellow human beings.
Martin Luther King Jr’s efforts remain with us today because of the multitude of people they affect. Children to adults know him, but more importantly they know of his cause. It is in this example that we see how one withstands the test of time. For one to be remembered, one must have a cause that profoundly impacts not only those in his or her time period, but a cause that far outlives it’s source and is experienced by a myriad of people across the reaches of time.
It is the change that Martin Luther King Jr. started that he is most remembered for, and since we understand what he fought and died for, we can gain an unbiased and pure view of what and who he was. Ultimately what makes one unforgettable is the passion to elicit a change so great and resounding that it affects people generations after its source has died, and it it through these great causes that we are able to understand and forever remember who that great hero and source of change was.
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<p>The essay seems great but wasnt it better to mention three heroes instead of one.Anyway you still have the capability to get 12 using one example.</p>
<p>It would be improved by finding a common thread between MLK and at least one other hero who has actually stood the test of time. Since MLK has only been a hero for ~50 years, his example simply can’t make the case. So I think you would have to find another example that has stood the test of time already. Then draw a parallel to MLK that shows how they favorably compare (impact, notoriety, whatever) and show how MLK possesses similar attributes and therefore will also be remembered forever. </p>