Grade my SAT essay, please.

College Essays
1

Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities and the nation in general?

Responsibility is compared to the heavy bags – the less people carry, the easier their life is. That is why many citizens prefer the government to solve problems that affect the community. However, such passive behavior indicates a low level of sympathy among people. I think they should participate in resolving problems their community is facing.
Private colleges and universities offer a range of scholarships funded by their own budget. The heads of such institutions help students who cannot afford education by providing them with the financial support. Thus, such colleges teach more people and reduce the scarce of work force on labor market.
Another example comes from my life. Back at school my friends and I were activists at collecting different things (clothes, books, toys, etc) for poor families and orphans. It was our commitment to out community. Even if we did not collect much, we still managed to provide students in need with basic set of educational supplies.
To conclude, any person’s action made toward resolving a major community problem counts. Even if it means taking more responsibility, it ensures that the problem will definitely be solved.

p.s I’m not a native speaker :slight_smile:

2

Okay make sure you state the opposing point of view along with two other examples proving your thesis. For example:
Is Sally better than Mark?
Thesis: Sally is better than mark. (Make your thesis clear and simple)
TS#1: Sally volunteers at homeless shelters.
So what?
Those who volunteer at hospitals are good people
Prove it.
She volunteers 50 hours a week!

TS#2: Sally had better grades than Mark
So what?
Prove it.

TS#3: Mark burns people’s houses down for enjoyment. (Makes it way clearer who’s better right!)
So what?
Prove it.

Conclusion: Restate thesis (mix up words a bit). Then throw in a nice finishing sentence to make the graders smile if you have time but still pertain gin to the prompt.

For the structure of your essay make sure you have 3 body paragraphs and 1 thesis and 1 concluding paragraph. I know it sounds like a lot but the SAT is weird. The more you write, the better you do. Its messed up I know. Also simple is good. Mix up wording a bit but you don’t need to throw in great vocal or anything they don’t mark you down on that.

Hope that helped!

Source:
Im taking the SAT too next saturday