Grade my SAT essay!!

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Assignment: “Is deception ever justified?”
Can we give grounds for deceitfulness? Or is deception morally wrong? These are contentious questions that have been debated at length. However, going around the truth is called for is certain circumstances. The examples of the Trojan horse (a trick used in the Trojan War) and Marc Antony’s Speech against the conspirators clearly illustrate circumstances where trickery proved to be the better course of action.</p>

<p>Helen was the most beautiful woman in Greece. She was daughter of Zeus, and had recently become wife or Menelaus. Paris, King of Troy, wanted to marry Helen, so he sent an army to Greece to kidnap Helen. Upon being successful, Helen now became Helen of Troy. Enraged by this, the Greeks decided to attack Troy in order to get Helen back. Once they reached the shore of Troy, they had no way of getting passed the large walls that had been erected. After staying on the shore unsuccessful for many days, one of the men suggested that they build a horse made of wood and hide in it. They would tell the people of Troy that they were leaving, and that the horse was a peace offering. The Greeks consequently burned down all their tents, boats and other belongings, leaving nothing but the horse. The people of Troy genuinely believed that they were gone, and brought the horse into Troy. Little did they know that the Greek army was hidden inside the horse. Once the Greek army was successfully inside the city of Troy, they attacked Troy, and took back Helen, marking the end of the Trojan War. </p>

<p>Mark Anthony was dear friend of Julius Caesar, the Roman general. Caesar was killed by 8 Roman senators (conspirators) who claimed that Caesar was an ambitious man. Angered by this, Mark Antony wanted to address the Romans before the funeral. Brutus, one of the conspirators allowed Antony to speak under the condition that he doesn’t defame the conspirators in his speech. Antony agreed, but planned his speech in such a way that the crowd of Romans turned against the conspirators. Never did Antony say that the conspirators were wrong in what they did. He used rhetorical questions, and sarcastic comments and Julius Caesar’s will to deceive the crowd. This prevented Rome from falling into the hands of the malicious conspirators.</p>

<p>History is replete with circumstances that go to show the deceitfulness can sometimes be justified. This may not mean telling a blunt lie, but twisting the truth, or sometimes leaving out bits and pieces of the truth for the greater good.</p>

2

<p>From the standpoint of mechanics and usage the writing is strong, so it can’t be a two.</p>

<p>However, you didn’t tell me much that I don’t already know so it can’t be a five.</p>

<p>Actually, this essay is really just a couple word blocks that summarize a couple stories. There’s so little reasoning here that I’d find it difficult to justify giving this anything higher than a three.</p>

3

<p>I think you didn’t do well in the third paragraph. You were simply telling the story and did not explain how it works to support your thesis. The fourth paragraph contains some explanation, but I don’t think it is enough. You have to explain a little bit, in one sentence or two, why the example you choose support your opinion. Simply writing something as in wikipedia does not really work for your essay. Hope you can work on that···
ps I‘ll give you 4…</p>