I did the SAT practice Essay 1 today, and followed the test rules. So I only had 50 minutes, …
Could you please grade it?
I’m aiming for an 8 8 8 and I’ll be taking the SAT with essay on 4th May 2019.
Here’s the practice essay prompt: https://collegereadiness.collegeboard.org/pdf/sat-practice-test-1-essay.pdf
My essay:
Former US president Jimmy Carter manages to persuade rather than convince his audience that the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge should not be developed for industry. Moreover, instead of using facts to support his ideas, Carter uses intellect hence playing with the audience’s emotions.
In the introduction, Carter describes the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge as an utterly beautiful land with “truly great wilderness”. His use and choice of adjectives are quite subjective, not factual, which makes the text realistic and enjoyable to read. Although it is true that facts might have been well regarded, Jimmy Carter’s honest description of the Refuge makes him more human. In this way, the audience views him less as a “former US president” and more as being one of them. This makes the audience sympathetic. With sympathy, the audience is more eager to support Carter’s ideas.
Following the introduction is Jimmy Carter’s own experience with his wife at the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. He continues to flatter the land, still with his thought-out choice of words: “brilliant”, “great land”, “unforgettable”, “once-in-a-lifetime wildlife spectacle”, and “special birthplace”.
By this point, former US president Jimmy Carter expects to have charmed the audience by the beauty of the Refuge. Thus, this is the time for him to bring up his main idea that the Refuge should not be developed for industry. Carter manages to persuade his audience, again by his choice of words. He seems to have been “saddened” by only the thought of this “tragedy”. These words serve exactly to play with emotions. He then moves on to explain the consequences of the proposed developments. The tone of the text slightly changes as facts are introduced to support his reasoning and ideas. With facts, comes numbers, dates, and an intention to convince.
Carter then suggests some solutions that could benefit both the Refuge and the economy, for which he uses pure reasoning to support.
In the last paragraphs, Carter tries to flatter the Refuge some more, again with his choice of words: “wild and free”, “precious wilderness”, “grand triumph”, and “extraordinary land”. He suggests that leaving the “extraordinary land” as it is would be the “greatest gift” to future generations. To conclude, Carter uses an even balance of facts and reason to support his ideas, hence managing to persuade his audience.