Grade My Writing Essay Please

My prompt is, “Do you agree that persistence is the major factor in success and that talent, genius, and education play, at best, secondary roles?”
I would like any comments and scores from you guys and please give advices for me to write better essays to attain a higher score on SAT that I am going to take on this Saturday, Thank you.

 One of the famous yet hackneyed quotes that many people know is, "Genius is 1% talent and 99% hard working". People who succeed in their careers always worked hard to keep on track when they do certain jobs. There is nothing we can assert that a major factor in success is the persistence and that talent, genius, and education play secondary roles.

 In this current world, scientists put lots of effort to renovate an electric car to protect environments while using energy that has produced by harmless electricity. In early 1900s, an electric car was invented, but was dismissed because of the gasoline car that was faster and easier to re-charge the energy at gas station. However, in late 1900s, General Motors had renovated an electric car that had gained favors from the California Air Resources Board. They worked diligently to produce faster car while pertaining safety and convenient of the cars. An electric car produce by General Motors, EV1, was demonstrated throughout the world and was boomed during late 20th and early 21st centuries. However, EV1 factory had shut down because of the C.E.Os of gas stations and citizens of the United States. It was because of the lack of confidents that people had and money that gas station were making decreased. However, they worked persistently to reform those minds of people and started to put more efforts to give confidents to consumers of the cars and finally gained customers who would afford the electric cars. The electric car companies were able to promote cars and gain fame from those customers, not by the intelligence that they had, but by the persistency that they had to promote the electric cars.

 I am a Korean student who studies in the United States. I do not have any talents to speak or write well in English. However, I worked really hard to get an As on every English courses that I had since sixth grade and now I am what people called genius for the English class. I can write much better than the past and get more corrects on the grammar section that any other high school students in my high school class. If I lacked a persistency, but kept confident about my intelligence, I would not be able to succeed through high school courses. As the car company and I did, we should work diligently to have success and set talent, genius, and education set aside to the secondary.

Um, where’s your conclusion?

Synonyms, I didn’t quite have enough time to write conclusion, so I tried to bind it up with third paragraph