Hello all. Kindly grade the SAT essay given below and provide specific and candid feedback as to how I can enhance the essay. I simply ask that you refer to specific elements of the essay so that I can improve upon them.
Prompt: Are people every truly original?
Originality is an illusion. One can never be truly original, as the works of many before us serve as the impetus for one’s innovation. An ideal example of this is Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who was awoken to the use of noncooperation and non-adherence to fight social injustice by Mahatma Gandhi. Similarly, Joseph Stalin’s philosophies stemmed from many philosophies already prevalent in society. Finally, the Renaissance is widely considered to have been instigated by the dissemination of Greek texts across Europe.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s formative influences were largely restricted to Mahatma Gandhi. When racist tendencies raged in America, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. rescued African-Americans- who were oppressed against- by employing non-violence and Christian doctrines as agents for social change. However, these philosophies were not devised by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.; instead, they were largely influenced by Gandhian ideologies. The principles of non-cooperation and nonviolence that were involved in combating segregation in America can be traced back to Mahatma Gandhi, who harnessed them during India’s struggle for independence. By understanding how Mahatma Gandhi had freed India from the British, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was able to achieve success in fighting racism in America as well.
Likewise, Joseph Stalin- the infamous, yet preeminent, leader of the Soviet Union- derived many of his philosophies from Marxism. During Joseph Stalin’s rule, socialism largely governed Soviet society, as well as its governance. However, although popularly believed to have been founded by Joseph Stalin, the idea of socialism can be traced back to Karl Marx. Many of the philosophies that were central to Soviet society during the reign of Stalin stemmed from Marx’s ideologies. They were merely popularized by Stalin, who harnessed them to gain the favor of his people and consolidate the Soviet empire. Joseph Stalin and his beliefs were, therefore, firmly rooted in the works of many who came before him, such as Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin.
Furthermore, the Renaissance- a socio-cultural movement that profoundly affected humanism in Europe- came to be because of the dissemination of Greek texts across Europe. Following the fall of Constantinople in 1492, a massive exodus of Greek scholars to Europe emerged. The manuscripts that they brought with them resulted in the propagation of awareness about humanism and the importance of advancement in the sciences and arts. Artists sought inspiration from these texts, and created several artworks that elevated the position of the artist in society. Many of these artists were, therefore, not truly original, but were influenced by various people who had preceded them.
No one can be truly original; one always finds inspiration from the past and present. As can be seen by the historical examples of Martin Luther King Jr., Joseph Stalin and the Renaissance, one’s achievements are merely the products of the achievements of many people who have come before.