<p>I just watched 2 videos featured on MSN where a public surprise was orchestrated for the graduate as she walked across stage after getting her diploma. In one case, the boyfriend was waiting in the wings and proposed to her on stage. In the other, the college President stopped the girl and announced that her active duty Marine brother, also waiting in the wings, had made it to the ceremony. Her parents had told her he wasn't going to be able to make it, but knew for a while he was coming and planned the surprise with the help of the university.</p>
<p>On one hand, these are touching moments that no doubt entertained the audience and broke up the monotony. On the other, I think they're a way to garner attention for one's loved one and make one graduate seem more special than all the others for reasons unrelated to their achievements, and that is inappropriate for a group commencement ceremony. It's already bad enough that some families carry on so much with their screaming that you can't hear the names of the other graduates being announced. </p>
<p>What if every family started making special requests? Let's see, we could show on video all the ill grandparents in the hospital or nursing home watching remotely. The possibilities are endless. </p>
<p>I agree. I don’t think a graduation ceremony is the time to do something not related to the event - the military one is a little more acceptable - but proposals - no way! Save that for the ball park.</p>
<p>I think if the brother had thought he would be unable to return in time but very last minute showed up (better yet, after completing some big operation that killed chief Al-Quaeda operatives), then yeah I could have seen it.</p>
<p>We all appreciate our servicemen and women, but this is not the ceremony to recognize them. Also, there may have been other Marines in the audience who also just returned, but this family placed him in the limelight. Returning more recently doesn’t automatically make him more special.</p>
<p>I agree with you - that’s not the time for proposals, reunions, etc. - it’s not a daytime talk show. </p>
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That was pointless - the parents shouldn’t have lied to their D for the purpose of doing a stage show in the wrong venue.</p>
<p>Doing things like this just shift a brighter spotlight on a select few individuals and away from the others for things unrelated to the graduation.</p>
<p>I agree op. Maybe at a high school, where the marine and his sister might be known to the community, yes, but otherwise they were making something that was really about 1 family a totally public event. </p>
<p>Both of these events seem to be in keeping with the current trend to live our lives in front of everyone else - twitter, facebook, youtube. Personally I’m hoping it’s a fad ;).</p>
<p>I agree with you, theGFG. The girl would have been equally delighted to have seen her Marine brother before the ceremony, or after the ceremony, quietly with her family - I don’t like those kinds of public spectacles either.</p>
<p>I agree. And I also agree that there’s something almost sadistic “Oh, look, they’re home, and they’ve been home but in hiding till we could surprise you” type of set-ups–I’ve heard of them with wives, kids, parents–all cases where the family member could have had the happy anticipation, plus additional time together, robbed of them, because we’re such a spectacle happy society.</p>
<p>ITA with everyone. A college graduation is not the place for this stuff. Everyone else does not want to be held hostage to your need for self-publicizing. (As far as the Marine is concerned, there may well have been other families in the audience whose service member was still over there, or who is NEVER coming home. Thanks so much for rubbing their nose in it at this milestone event.)</p>
<p>And people who scream and blow air horns or the like should be taken asked to leave.</p>
<p>Sit down, shut up, and clap nicely at the appropriate moments. Please. Your joy will not be less if you resist the temptation to foist it upon everyone else.</p>
<p>I completely agree. At a ceremony last year the person who was calling the names of the graduates also had a nephew graduating and made a production out of calling his name as the "_XXX High School Chess Champion followed by a long, awkward pause before the name of the next graduate was called…seriously…it really was out of place at graduation. What about the STAR student, the other students with exceptional achievements, the girl with leukemia, the boy who was bitten by a shark, the kids who lost their parents or siblings this year,…? The graduation ceremony is supposed to celebrate the successful graduation of each graduate and attendees should conduct themselves in a dignified and respectful manner for the sake of each graduate and his or her family and guests. No air horns, endless whooping and hollering, or cowbells are necessary.</p>
<p>A college graduation is not about any individual student. It is about each student, and the graduates as a collective bunch. Drawing attention to yourself (or to one particular student) is selfish.</p>
<p>The one I am sympathetic to is the brother who is a Marine, but why couldn’t the parents have planned a private surprise for the girl before or after the ceremony? There’s no reason to do it on the stage other than, as you already stated, to try to make the graduate seem more special than all the others. I also agree with Consolation in that you may be inadvertently dredging up horribly sad feelings in other graduates whose military family members could not be at the graduation, either because they’re afraid for their lives or because they are already passed.</p>
<p>I attended a college graduation recently and all the whooping, hollering, and fraternity/sorority calls bothered me. One family even brought an air horn, and someone made the awful decision to hand it to a small toddler who kept blowing it at the worst possible moments. My college graduation was held in a church and we were duly warned that none of that nonsense should happen. There was pretty much dead silence between each one of our names; the applause came afterwards. I would’ve been mortified rather than proud if my family engaged in this nonsense.</p>
<p>I think both are totally inappropriate. The proposal was downright rude to the other graduates, IMHO. Marine story was touching, but I don’t like the idea of using a graduation to single out one graduate in this way.</p>
<p>I would never initiate one, partake in one, nor do I agree with them. The graduation ceremony, as a whole, is for ALL the graduates and to turn it into a personal celebration takes away from everyone else and borders on rude. </p>
<p>With all due respect to the military, he could have surprised his sister privately after the ceremony and the audience would not have to feel uncomfortable watching an emotional reunion between brother and sister. </p>
<p>As for public “will you marry me?”?, I don’t quite understand why something as intimate and life altering as a marriage proposal needs to be publicized. </p>
<p>It seems some people thrive on being in the public eye, good or bad, and as a very private person, it makes me squirm…</p>
<p>If this happened at my sister’s graduation (if she ever graduates…), she would break down and cry in the middle. She lost her husband in the war. </p>
<p>Not appropriate. Not at all. You have to make it about all the graduates, not one or a handful. There’s a time and a place for these things, and this is not it. I’d be horrified if I was singled out and I think many students feel the same.</p>
<p>I agree. My kid’s graduation yesterday was very dignified - not even a beachball or airhorn to be found. It is a very formal affair, and even the bachelor’s degree grads wear hoods (very moving hooding ceremony the day before commencement). The only breach was a couple of dozen kids who decorated their caps, and 90% of those were acknowledging mothers’ day (as did the commencement speaker and president, in honor of Mary, in whose name the school is founded). </p>
<p>Oh - and one department decided to get cute. The ten interior design graduates all wore huge yellow flowers in their hair.</p>
<p>There was constant whooping,clapping,yelling at S2’s grad. last week. That happened in h.s. but thought it might not happen in college. I was wrong.</p>