<p>“My point is the sorority contact can be the “foot in the door” not available to every young woman. That another woman didn’t have the opportunities you did”</p>
<p>Even though Sally305 and I were at the same school during the same time frame, we ran in different circles. She made networking contacts I didn’t make, and vice versa. Every single person is going to make different networking contacts than the next, based on personality and interests. There’s no way around that. </p>
<p>* We all aspire to be part of the wealthy, athletic, social crew; most of us are not qualified.*</p>
<p>As a matter of fact, I don’t aspire to be a part of that crew and never really have. I know plenty of others also without that aspiration. </p>
<p>I’m kind of waiting around to see if anyone is going to comment on that horrific girl scout story?</p>
<p>Harvard has sororities now, they just aren’t supported or sponsored by the school. They are called the ‘Cambridge’ chapter rather than the Harvard chapter. It is what the students want so the national sororities worked with a group and established them.</p>
<p>A friend’s daughter attends a school that is only 25% female. I encouraged her to join a sorority just for the support of the other female students. When I went to a nearby school, we’d party with the fraternity men from this school, and their own female students were very much ignored. In the years between, the percentage of females has grown from 10% to 25%, and the number of sororities from 0 to 3. I think it does increase the strength of the women on campus to be seen as equals to the men. They are more likely to hold student government office, to run a club or organization because they have a little backing. My friend’s daughter is very very shy. She did join and although she’s never going to be an outgoing leader, but is much better at participating than she ever was in high school. It is a good experience for her.</p>
<p>I have no desire to be part of a wealthy, athletic or social crew. I am undoubtedly unqualified so that settles the matter.</p>
<p>I attended college back in the “scholarship kid” days. I think many of us felt excluded due to SES status- I didn’t know where Greenwich or La Jolla were; the only people I knew who worked in “banking” were tellers and local branch employees. A guy down the street from my house owned a carpet store-- to me, that’s what a business person was. My parents were teachers and neighbors were librarians, accountants, etc.</p>
<p>Being excluded from something in college because I couldn’t afford to participate would not have bothered me for a minute. That was the name of the game; I was grateful to be there and grateful to both my parents, the generous tax-payers of the United States who were subsidizing my loans, the donors to the university, etc.</p>
<p>Being excluded from something because I wasn’t fashionable enough or had the right grooming- I dunno. It was the '70’s and the kids on my hall thought that regular showers were a social construct. Or maybe the men hoped that bad hygiene could do what a bad draft lottery number could not and keep them out of Viet Nam when they graduated.</p>
<p>Things change. But on balance- the exclusionary nature of sororities and these social activities don’t bother me. I don’t belong to a country club now- doesn’t bother me. I have other priorities (financial, calendar, social). The fact that they probably don’t want me as a member is the icing on the cake!!!</p>
<p>Carry on.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I’m sorry, but I think that story is horrible. I know that in my troop-leading days, we had no limit on the size of the troop (the local council had a minimum number per troop but no maximum. We leaders were also discouraged (maybe prohibited?) from turning anyone away any girl from joining any troop that she wanted to join.) I had troops as large as 32 and as small as 5.</p>
<p>I think this story (and the examples of the “rich troop” and the “poor troop”) have more to do with the specific people running/leading those troops and less to do with scouting in general. I do know that it sounds nothing like the troops in my experience from my own cluster and council. </p>
<p>I agree. That sounds awful and deliberately not-nice behavior. </p>
<p>I meant generally, not universally, of course. When I was in college Delts, mostly wealthy NYC area kids, would get 100 “first choice” picks by prospective pledges, some of whom had never done more than toured. Phi Tau (lacrosse team) and SAE (rich, non-NY reputation) had similar results. I had zero interest in them and joined a middle-of-the-pack fraternity that may have gotten 10 picks. It was pretty obvious to everyone I was not Delts material.</p>
<p>The girl scout troop worked out, as 2 girls didn’t want to join, and over the next few years others dropped out. It was but one example of kids being excluded, and my were all the time. I had to decide if the benefits of this school outweighed the negatives, and for 6 years they did, but then they didn’t. One of the troop leaders was very nice, the other rather a ■■■■■. I ran a troop once and it had 30 kids - none of them mine! (I was 21 at the time and was asked to do it at my church. Lots of criticism, very little help from the parents.)</p>
<p>Other parents (including me) could have started troops, or kids could have joined another one, but THIS one was the one their friends were in, it met at school, it was convenient. Nationally, girl scouts is an inclusive organization, but the point is that any one troop can be exclusionary. Same with sororities. Someone may be asked to join Theta at Cal, but not at MIT. The house may be super popular at Nebraska but not that way at Texas. The national group is inclusive, the specific house at a specific school not so much. Just not enough room for everyone to be in every club.</p>
<p>“Same with sororities. Someone may be asked to join Theta at Cal, but not at MIT. The house may be super popular at Nebraska but not that way at Texas.”</p>
<p>My best friend from high school went off to SMU (a complete mismatch for her academically, but whatever). Now, she was every bit the sorority girl stereotype as one could imagine - very pretty, bubbly, great figure, social, fashionable, athletic, the whole picture. Apparently SMU rush is brutal and she didn’t make it in anywhere, despite keeping an open mind. She later transferred to William & Mary, went through rush as a junior, became a Theta (a house that tends to be strong most everywhere) and had a grand old time. The Thetas at SMU wouldn’t have touched her with a ten-foot pole. </p>
<p>SMU is probably the most brutal rush in the country. I’m a member of a sorority and you couldn’t pay me to rush at SMU. Recruitment and sororities really do differ from school to school. </p>
<p>Just got a text from D2 that she is going to be her sorority’s recruiting director for next year. This is the D who is not that into her sorority. The older one was a lot more into it, but didn’t get the position (both of them belong to the same sorority at the same school). Maybe I will get some insider scoop on how they do it.</p>
<p>Greek life has been very good for my kids at a very large U. They often had more things to do than they have time for. D1 is out of college now, but she continues to see her sorority sisters once a year. </p>
<p>@Pizzagirl - I just read one of your previous posts and realized that we are sorority sisters :).</p>
<p>Congrats to your D, oldfort. I was assistant rush director and it was a lot of fun. </p>
<p>And no, the behind-the-scenes recruitment is not full of catty comments about how that girl didn’t wear Jimmy Choos. @@ It’s pretty benign, really. It’s structured almost like how you structure discussing candidates for a job – neutral discussions of whether you clicked with them or not. Disrespectful comments were NOT tolerated at all.</p>
<p>I think it will give her a good view on how business may do recruiting, even if they may have different criteria. In the beginning of process, sorority (business) gets a lot of applicants, therefore applicants need to impress the sorority. Once the sorority narrows down who they want, then the table is turned where applicants would then be in the driver seat and sorority need to recruit at that point. It’s a dance.</p>
<p>I’m not a huge fan of exclusive social groups (which I think are very different from organizations that exclude on the basis of academics or other talent), but that NYT article was absurd. You know what else takes time away from your studies? Every extracurricular activity ever. You know what else presents a potential barrier for participation to the lower-SES kids? Attending college, expensive sports and going out to dinner or spring break trips with your friends. And that’s not accounting for the fact that, as others have said, not all sorority dues are exorbitant, and membership may actually reduce expenses in other ways. </p>
<p>The lateness fees were really the only part of the article’s description that struck me as worthy of complaint. </p>
<p>@apprenticeprof my chapters’ policies for a standard meeting (think Sunday chapter, etc.) were 1 unexcused absence and then you were fined $10-20. Missing rounds of recruitment for an unexcused reason, however, did warrant fines in excess of $100, because of the importance of that event</p>
<p>I don’t recall fines, but honestly … A fine for missing rush recruitment DOES seem appropriate. You can’t run an organization if everyone just feels free to show up whenever. </p>
<p>Fines are good training for real life. Dentists charge when you don’t show up for an appointment. So do personal trainers, daycare providers, etc. Kids should recognize that commitments are commitments and the world does not revolve around them. </p>
<p>D1 came up with point systems for her sorority. They assign point systems for each event - set up a party, clean up, attending a mixer, help with a charity event…If a girl doesn’t have enough points then she wouldn’t be able to attend some important formals. </p>
<p>I have not read the whole thread, skimping mostly. But to answer the question about cost, it was definitely cheaper to live in a sorority house vs dorm or apartment. I was not into sorority but I did see the cost was cheaper so I had no objections. But my daughter had really good experience with her sorority at USC and come back helping recruit every year. </p>