Hello, I am not entirely sure if this goes here but I will post anyway. I am currently a junior in college. This is my second semester at the current school that I am at, after I transfered from my previous school. Last February, during my first semester at my new school, my father who I had a very close relationship with ended up suddenly having a stroke and dying. I missed two weeks of school and then went back and managed to finish the semester with grades that weren’t too off the mark that I was aiming for. My professors understood my situation and were very lenient. I thought that for the most part I had managed to cope with everything. Looking back now, I realize that I was not coping well or dealing with the plethora of emotions I was feeling about the death of my father but rather, I was just ignoring them and throwing myself into my school work and social life in an attempt to not have free time to think about my dad. This semester has been particularly stressful and I now feel as though many of the emotions that I ignored have been bubbling up and really negatively affecting my academic ability. I have been unable to focus on any of my classwork and have just stayed in my room for days at a time. I have not spoken to any of my professors about this as I feel like they won’t believe me because it’s been a semester and a summer since it happened and maybe I shouldn’t still be grieving anymore. I don’t entirely know what to do, or if it is too late to talk to my professors or a dean anymore and am looking for some advice. Could it possibly be in my best interests to take a gap semester and try and process and deal with everything in a healthy way closer to home? Thanks for listening to me vent and thank you for any advice you may give.
I’m a professor and lost my own parent about ten years ago. It is NOT too late to speak with your dean, advisor, or professors. Many of us have delayed grief; this is very normal. Can you make an appointment with your advisor? Or another faculty member you feel comfortable with? They can guide you through the options.
I am so sorry for your loss. Try to set up an appointment with a mental health counselor at school . There may be resources they csn connect you with. fwiw, I think profs would understand that you are still dealing with this. Anyone who has lost a parent knows that the grieving period is long.
Whether you should take time off or stay at school is a more complicated question if you can get the resources you need in both places and can focus enough to do your school work. A counselor could help you figure this out.
Please try to get help though. It can really make a difference in this tough time.