<p>The Boston Globe printed a story today with the title "Middlesex DA investigates reports of bullying at Groton School." Sorry, I don't know how to attach the article, perhaps someone else could do this for me?</p>
<p>[Middlesex</a> DA investigates reports of bullying at Groton School - The Boston Globe](<a href=“http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/10/28/middlesex_da_investigates_reports_of_bullying_at_groton_school/?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed7]Middlesex”>http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/10/28/middlesex_da_investigates_reports_of_bullying_at_groton_school/?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed7)</p>
<p>Wow. I’m speechless.</p>
<p>…and Choate blocked Facebook at the school because of some nasty threads that got leaked publicly. Apparently prep schools are not immune to the cyberbullying problem.</p>
<p>Uugghh, this does not make my day. I’ll be passing the article on to my boys. All we can do as parents and friends is to continue to teach our children well and keep those lines of communication open. Albeit too late, they are now learning in the most extreme way at Groton.</p>
<p>The article seems to hit on so many topics; bullying, online harassment, jabs about political correctness, homophobia. Groton has to contend with a collision of events, culminating in the suicide of a student. Awful on so many levels, for so many kids and their families. Kindness and tolerance need to be addressed on a very basic level. Not just at Groton.</p>
<p>This tale is awful on so many fronts. It is a nightmare for all involved. jg0339’s comment is dead on target: there is a horrible "collision of events " smashing together now at Groton. Many sad days will follow. May all the wounds heal, if possible.</p>
<p>Kids make really stupid decisions sometimes. It’s sad to see a child of 16 get a mark on their record, however, I think it’s wrong of the Head of School Commons to try to sweep it under the rug by coercing the family to withdraw their child rather than going through the disciplinary process. The disciplinary process is cathartic not just for the student in question but for the community so that others can know that the behavior in question will not be tolerated and, hopefully, not repeated. </p>
<p>Hate crimes are serious stuff. The timing of this would place it shortly after the Rutgers incident which makes it even worse. </p>
<p>I also cannot fathom sending my child to boarding school if they are on antidepressants.</p>
<p>I feel for the family and for the Groton school community but there are some issues here that seem to go beyond the surface. </p>
<p>jg0339 - You are spot on about the message of kindness and tolerance. It cannot be repeated enough.</p>
<p>Almost every boarding school allows a child to choose to withdraw when facing a DC where dismissal is practically 100% certain. It is certainly not “sweeping it under the rug” but rather allowing the student to separate from the community without including severely negative reports on their permanent record (they do have to explain to colleges why they withdrew in most cases). The tragedy at Groton is just that and I know the community is working diligently to heal wounds and protect the young people in their charge. I would also caution people from reading the Globe story as “the truth” as in all cases regarding litigation, the school cannot comment publicly because it has a legal obligation to keep information regarding children under the age of 18 confidential. Therefore, parents who are interested in suing have an open media platform to spread their message regardless of what may have actually occured. I’ve heard many of the details of this case from members of the Groton community and know Mr. Commons and the school are doing everything they can to honor Hunter’s memory and protect the children are still enrolled there from outside forces.</p>
<p>Groton is a great school. We can speculate all we want, but there’s no doubt in my mind that they’re taking every possible step toward doing the right thing in response to this tragedy. It could happen to any of these schools that we love. Lightening struck Groton this time, and struck that poor family whose son mistakenly concluded that there was no path forward.</p>
<p>Yes, hola3, you are correct about the warning re: media always stating truths. Thank you for the reminder.</p>
<p>tragic all around. wish something could have been done to help the boy who thought his only way out was to kill himself</p>
<p>Here is another story on this extremely tragic event: </p>
<pre><code> Boy, accused of bullying, - Nashoba Publishing Online
</code></pre>
<p>@toombs61: Keeping the caveats mentioned above in mind, that Nashoba piece paints an even worse picture, IMO.</p>
<p>Agreed. It is a most painful picture. As TParent astutedly remarked, lightning struck Groton, and it could have as easily hit just about any other BS. Because the topic of bullying and suicide is highly charged and has garnered a great deal of national attention and awareness recently, I fear, however, that this bolt of lightning has lit up the sky and has left a lot of damage behind. Absolutely heartbreaking, dreadful event.</p>
<p>In my opinion the schools should put more energy and funding into education around bullying. Maybe it should be part of orientation when kids arrive, try to catch it further upstream, then waiting for something to happen and making it an Honor Code violation.</p>
<p>That’s a good idea. I have sent emails through facebook to kids just to let them know that I have seen their comments. Just recently, someone who my d is not “friends” with posted a vulgar comment about a photo that my d and about ten others were tagged in. When I asked her who he was, she was shocked that the comment had come up on my page. Because my d is my friend, and she was in the photo, the comment showed up on my page. So, I sent him an email via FB letting him know how I was able to see his comment and that everyone who was friends with anyone else in the photo (like my d’s grandmother, etc) OR friends with anyone who also commented on the photo could see his comment. I told him that the good news was that he could always go back and delete the comment. He didn’t. I guess there’s a reason my d isn’t “friends” with him. </p>
<p>My d has a good rule of thumb regarding FB content: if you wouldn’t stand up at assembly and say it publicly, don’t post it on FB.</p>
<p>I don’t think teens are being hateful as much as they are being stupid. Without knowing exactly what the student at Groton posted, there is no way that any of us could comment on whether it was a “hate crime” or stupidity. But yeah, I am sometimes astounded by the insensitivity of teens on FB. I would like very much to believe that the kids who do ugly things don’t fully understand how ugly they really are.</p>
<p>This hits too close to home. I just received a friendly email reminder from Groton about my application status.
Last yr. I had to stand up to our class bully because he was constantly picking on a small nerdy kid. Since my grade is small most the kids joined the bully. I<code>m the same size as the bully so I took him on. It was hell and the school did nothing about it. At the end of the yr. the small nerdy kid told me he considered killing himself before I stepped in to help him. Schools need education on how to handle these problems.
BTW, It</code>s just my luck that the bully is also applying to the same schools as I.</p>
<p>neato, although i don’t use facebook myself, our kid was similarly “victimized” by a couple of his schoolmates last year on facebook. we “suggested” that either they remove the crap from facebook or we would be in touch with their parents about it. it was completely removed within an hour. don’t beat around the bush on such potentially harmful things as this!</p>
<p>p.s. neato… it really doesn’t matter whether they are being hateful or whether they are being stupid. what DOES matter is that their actions are hateful. what DOES matter is that their actions can be highly destructive of other kids. don’t persuade yourself to be passive about this stuff. when he didn’t delete it, that was a signal that further action was needed by you.</p>