I really hope that 1) you will insurance for counseling and psychiatry if needed, since you have insurance and 2) that you will consider medication
The rest of your plan sounds great but if you can “barely get out of bed” won’t work…
Coffee is an potent stimulant. One of my kids had type 1 diabetes and you should see what it does to her blood sugars.I was addicted to large amounts in my 30’s and gave it up and had an incredible improvement in my nervous system- just saying. But that might mean a lot more gum!
I’ve been following this and just want to chime in to let you know there are people out here rooting for you. You come across with a maturity beyond your years and are doing a lot better than I think I would do under the same circumstances.
I know you are concerned about the future, but the future is unknown. We can plan for it and hope all the stars line up, but try as we might, we can’t control it. You may have heard the expression “the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” There are times in life where the most important thing to concentrate on is “now” and the immediate future, or as I call it . . . putting out fires. Beyond that, we just have to keep the faith that the future will work out the way it’s supposed to. I’ve been through times like that. I’ve become so focused on worrying about “someday” that it’s caused a lot of anxiety before I catch myself and accept that I just need to take it one day or week at a time until all the fires around me are out.
Being a caregiver is incredibly stressful. I’m not sure if this has been mentioned, but in most areas, there are support groups specifically for caregivers that are free to attend and they can be incredibly helpful in making you realize there are others out there dealing with some of the exact same things you are, and that you are not alone.
Keep planning for the future, but don’t discount the importance of doing what you need to do for your more immediate health and happiness. And keep that cinnamon gum handy. Wishing you all the best.
Two things I’d like to highlight: 1. EXERCISE. It really does help. Second, if your depression is worse in winter it could be seasonal. Buying a special lamp can make a big difference.
Read through this for some ideas. http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,20526272,00.html I have a friend who swears by St. John’s wort, one of the suggestions in this list. (It does interact badly with some prescription drugs, so read the label.) It REALLY helps her .
Wishing you all the best.