Guys paying, opening doors, carrying stuff...?

<p>dill, no I wouldn’t be offended, I’d just assume that she didn’t see me/felt like opening her own door.</p>

<p>i always argue with a guy who offers to pay for me until he lets me pay for myself. i feel like i should argue so he doesn’t think i’m taking advantage of him and men and women should be equal… but then i feel bad about it and wish a guy would pay so i could feel like he’s a gentleman. :(</p>

<p>"And this is why the divorce rate is so high. Marriages where couples take a more “traditional” route usually end up being more successful.</p>

<p>Anyway, sure some men like “independent” women. But most like to take care of thier woman. Men are supposed to take care of their significant others. It makes them feel good, and it makes the ladies feel appreciated.</p>

<p>Im sure you are fully capable of opening your own door, but honestly what does it hurt to have a man do it for you? It’s a nice gesture and makes him feel “manly”."</p>

<p>Do they really have lower divorce rates? The ones who advocate these gender roles (evangelical christians) have higher divorce rates than the rest of the population.</p>

<p>I also wonder why men are not allowed to say the vice versa. Yes some women like equal partners. But women should still be women. They should still cook, clean and give massages (while dating). After all it makes them feel feminine.</p>

<p>"It’s not insensitive, it is the truth. The more “independent” women get, the higher the divorce rate goes up. "</p>

<p>Maybe men who married women who are SAHM’s are afraid of losing their assets and custody of their children in a divorce.</p>

<p>“No one said women can’t do for themselves, but its ridiculous to emasculate a man. Let him be the man. Let him carry your heavy stuff, open your doors, take out the trash, and pay for your dinner. Or keep complaining about him doing things for you, and suffer the consequences when you actually need help.”</p>

<p>Do not insult a woman’s femininty.</p>

<p>Let her be the woman. Let her cook, do your laundry, clean the toilets, clean up after the dogs, and scratch your back.</p>

<p>"I don’t see why everyone is grouping opening doors, helping people carrying things, and paying for meals in the same group.</p>

<p>Opening doors and helping carry heavy objects are things a POLITE person does for EVERYONE (or at least friends), not just females.</p>

<p>Paying for someone is different. I’d be willing to bet most of those “nice” guys trying to buy affection from girls (whether they admit this is the purpose or not) probably don’t get as many girls as those cocky “jerk” types that do not pay for girls. Just throwing that out there."</p>

<p>Have you ever seen a woman help a man like that? Nope.</p>

<p>Men help women.
Men don’t help men.
Women don’t help men.
Women don’t help women.</p>

<p>Now before you say that its not right to break gender roles let’s look at what traditional gender roles are.</p>

<p>Man pays for dinner, pays for entertainment/activity.
Women cooks dinner, pays for entertainment/activity</p>

<p>[Miss</a> Manners: On Footing the Dating Bill - MSN Relationships - article](<a href=“http://lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=8319060]Miss”>http://lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=8319060)</p>

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<p>So let’s get this straight. </p>

<p>You like women to make all the decisions.
You like to pamper women.</p>

<p>Women do not like submissive men.</p>

<p>i honestly cannot believe this thread is 13 pages long. let me summarize: some people feel that gender roles are okay, others are horrified that the former group still practices such atrocities in this day and age.</p>

<p>do what you want. if common courtesy bothers you, then tell your significant other. if it doesn’t, then let them continue what they’re doing.</p>

<p>/thread</p>

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<p>It wouldn’t be wrong for a man to expect these things though. Women are allowed to have expectations. No reason men can’t either.</p>

<p>I agree with you - it always feels a bit antiquated. That said, I still open doors and offer to carry stuff (if they’re carrying a lot, obviously), for friends (male or female).</p>

<p>I thought opening doors (and offering a hand) for other people has translated into a politeness thing. For instance, when I was on a college tour, this small kid half my height and age opened the door and waited for everyone to pass through. I don’t think anyone would be saying he was doing that because everyone else was just weaker than him.</p>

<p>Either way if this bothers you, you should tell your date / other people beforehand, in passing, without sounding belligerent.</p>

<p>i can’t believe this thread is still active.</p>

<p>RELATED: a couple of nights ago i went out with a boy who insisted on paying for everything and honestly it made me feel awesome. he was also super polite and thanked our waitress for everything and held doors and KEPT HIS ELBOWS OFF THE TABLE THE WHOLE TIME WHAT so it’s not like only the money made me feel awesome. he was just like, the perfect storybook gentleman. and that was amazing. and i don’t care if that makes me a bad feminist.</p>