<p>Ok if I meet/talk with a girl, I have a habit of being real nice and down to earth with them (I don't mean that I'm a jerk in other times, just that I'm more nicer and more transparent than usual). Is that not good for building a relationship that goes farther than just "being friends"? I once heard from a friend that girls don't like guys that are too accomodating or too nice, and that girls need to feel like they must do something themselves in order to get with a guy. In short, I got told that guys shouldn't be completely nice and have a jerk side to them. I'm assuming this is being mean in a flirty/playful way? and not actually being a real mean, jerk (although I know girls that like boyfriends who treat them like crap but doesn't seem to be the majority of girls). </p>
<p>Sorry for the barrage of questions, I just hope that I can get some outside advice/opinion on what women think about guys that are "too nice". thank you</p>
<p>There certainly isn’t anything wrong with being nice. I just think in most relationships, you don’t want to be so clingy. </p>
<p>Do nice things for girls, but don’t go over the top to the point where it’s kind of disgustingly annoying or the girl takes advantage of you – which does happen to guys that are “too nice” unfortunately. I think it is cruel to take advantage of someone =(</p>
<p>@Sky Pilot, horse hockey, women act like they all want “that one nice guy” and then when he’s right in front of them they go for the ***<strong><em>bag. And I don’t mean *</em></strong><strong>bag as in confident person, I mean *</strong><strong>bag as in an outright </strong>.</p>
<p>You gotta be a bit amicable but at the same time not act like you care too much. Don’t shower her with compliments and stuff… you’d think that would work but no. You have to find this balance where you give off the air of not caring <em>just</em> the right amount. For some reason that grabs them more than acting like you’re genuinely interested in what they’re talking about.</p>
<p>I know it doesn’t make sense, but we’re talking about the same people who answer “nothing” when asked what’s wrong, and then get all mad when you take that at face value.</p>
<p>I hate d-bags. I live in Jersey so I come across a lot of them where I go to school. But they are the ones dating the sloppy drunk girls at the frat parties, or the girl with body image problems and overall low self-esteem who desperately wants to be “loved”.</p>
<p>I definitely want a nice guy though, but not too nice where everything is “Here let me open the door for you” “Wait, don’t step in that puddle. Let me cover that puddle for you”, like at every moment. And compliments! Yes, don’t give girls too many compliments. That gets annoying. Once in a while is good, but not at every moment. </p>
<p>I could just be speaking for myself though. I don’t know how other girls feel =</p>
<p>I’d always choose the nice guy. I’d probably be friends with the ______ bag guy just because he’s entertaining =p; wouldn’t want to get too close to him though.</p>
<p>Besides, if he acts like he doesn’t care that much, then I just figure he’s not interested lol ;). Not gonna waste my time.</p>
<p>My boyfriend is the nicest guy without being a pushover. I poke fun at him and he does the same; it’s fine. I appreciate his consideration and kind nature immensely, and I wouldn’t change that for more of a “bad boy” persona any day.</p>
<p>::slaps forehead:: there is nothing wrong with holding doors, haha. Gah, I can’t explain myself well =</p>
<p>I love nice guys!!! But, if we are in a relationship, I don’t want him to feel like he HAS to do EVERYTHING nice to please me. I want to be in relationship where we respect each other equally and act like silly, goofy friends while in public – not clingy boyfriend and girlfriend all the time. </p>
<p>I can hold the door for him, he can hold the door for me. We can split the bill at dinner. He doesn’t have to buy me gifts for special occasions. Just being with him and hanging out with him will make my birthday, anniversary, Valentine’s day, etc. awesome. </p>
<p>Yeah, I’m still struggling to explain myself well. Ohhh boy. =</p>
<p>I hold the door for people, too. It’s just common courtesy, I think- if you go in first, it’s rude to let it hit the person right behind you in the face.</p>
<p>I’m a door holder as well, though I always seem to find myself in that awkward situation where the other person is waaaaaay behind but still close enough. I can never decide whether I should let the door go, or continue holding it, which usually makes the other person feel guilty and run to catch up… >_<</p>
<p>Girls like “projects”. They want the bad guy so they can work on them, and convert them into something of their own. They like challenges, and this is the perfect challenge for them. They see the bad guy has having a lot of confidence, and this is something that is often more attractive to them then looks. As much as they claim to want a nice guy, for reasons that only make sense to them, they want someone who isn’t a pushover and who will generally treat them bad or mediocre. Maybe it’s how society portrays “bad guys” that makes women so attracted to them, who knows. The best advice I can give is to read the girl you are interested in and figure her out before she figures you out. If this means being an *******, hey, whatever works best.</p>
<p>Well, I do kinda like the playful jerk but if it’s not you, if you don’t talk a lot **** with your friends and all that, then you’ll fail at the playful jerk. You might even come off as that awkward, annoying jerk who’s trying too hard. You know that guy.</p>
<p>Also their are girls who see the playful jerk as the big brother type friend. </p>
<p>If being a nice guy works for you then continue it. But be sure to differentiate between the “nice guy friend” and “nice cute guy who’s hitting on the girl”.</p>
<ol>
<li>like nice guys</li>
<li>like jerks</li>
<li>like ****** bags</li>
<li>like guys who are neither nice nor jerks</li>
<li>like guys who act like their friends/brother</li>
<li>like cocky and funny guys, but not arrogant</li>
<li>like ‘‘projects’’ that they can change</li>
</ol>
<p>I bet there’s going to be some others to come soon.</p>