It’s definitely harder to establish those relationships when you see other families so infrequently. Because we live a full day’s drive away from our kids’ BS, this year I have made it a point to reach out to my kids’ friends’ parents - if they are close and coming for a game or a visit, etc., this heads-up often means we can make plans for a drink or a meal with other parents. Has been a good way to make deeper connections than during the busy, over scheduled Parents’ Weekend craziness. Even to the point of beginning plans for our own Parents’ Weekend not related to school…we all have agreed that one of the harder pieces of BS life is not getting to know your kids’ friends and families like you would if they were under your roof.
IMO, I have a lot more in common with the parents we met at SAS than we do with parents at the local public school. Early on we were labeled the “No TV” family (which wasn’t and isn’t even the case) by public school peers.
I think it really depends on the school/kid/family. I would say that there are definitely SAS families we consider friends — and correspond with them outside of school via email, FB, etc. Not so much at Masters, though we are friendly enough with some families, especially those with kids on fencing team (because we see these folks more).
Greetings! Looong time lurker, first time poster. Sevendad - that was me 
SAS 2015 Graduation @#9
I need to thank all of you for the incredible depth of information you provide on a daily basis. I have learned so much on the Prep School Forum, beginning with the secondary school search for Setting4th S1 over four years ago - who is now a freshman in college. S2 just committed to his secondary school on Saturday.
Sevendad, would love to hear from you via private message!
The lack of parent connections has definitely been a down side of BS for me. I’m fairly outgoing and miss the chance to develop school-based friendships.
One thing that’s been a little strange too are the situations when friendlydaughter is visiting friends’ homes or her friends are coming here. I think I have higher expectations than a lot of parents when it comes to knowing wht the deal is going to be in terms of expectations, supervision, etc. It’s not that I expect others to set the same rules as we do and I totally abide by the “your house, your rules” notion - it just feels odd to me to have someone else’s teenager around for days, or have my kid at the house of someone I barely know (or don’t know at all), and not even have a conversation with the parents. Am I crazy?
@friendlymom I always made sure to have a conversation, either by phone or email prior to a visit at my own home or if child was going to their home, at least in the first couple years when they were younger. I’d often follow up afterward with either a thank you or letting them know how we enjoyed the visit with their child. I backed off in senior year as they readied for the transition to college life and also because I knew the majority of the families and kids well by then.
@friendlymom , much to DS’ embarrassment, I would contact parents of kids who visited us and vice versa for the first two years. Our school has a code of conduct for parents (which they may or may not sign) which addresses concerns such as alcohol, supervision, etc., and I’d usually just reach out to see how strongly other parents felt about complying with that, what the plans were, who was driving, food concerns (if it was a longer visit). In many ways, I;ve felt MORE worried when we’re hosting.
Like @doschicos , I’ve backed off as they’ve gotten older and as I’ve gotten to know the kids (all so nice!!) and their families better. With that said, there are some extended festivities planned around graduation this year, and I can assure you that there has been a lively exchange of e-mails to make sure that everyone is on the same page in terms of rules and expectations.
Read up on nightmare stories from Andover, Deerfield, and SPS (there are probably others) of big grad party busts over the past decade. SPS was back in 2010 and Andover and Deerfield were in the past few years.
We have hosted many kids at our home and never gotten a single call from a parent from the kids BS. Even Grad night a few years back 7 boys ended up sleeping over after a big grad party- that I drove them to and picked them up from ( but not one parent asked about transportation). They all were headed on a senior trip the next day - so we drove them to the airport the next morning.
I on the other hand, always reach out. Even when they were older- My kids hated it.
Andover was actually just last year.
We have gotten to know other parents and I actually hired a parent to work with me on a big work project.
The call to join the Parents’ Committee is what did it for us. We then had to call families and that prompted conversations.
We’ve also met fellow parents at sporting events. One mother is becoming a friend and she moved a birthday cake from the bakery to the restaurant which was nice.
We are lucky that the kids are 90 minutes away including the flight. Time on campus is the key. We are very happy with the decisions our children have made.
@stanford94 “Time on campus is the key.” How do you do that as a parent without sticking out like a sore thumb?
We show up for the kids’ events. DD was in the infirmary for a week and hating in. We came up.
DS wanted to visit some JBS kids in Boston. We drove him up.
I was working in Boston and came down on a weekday to see sporting event.
DD was in the play.
There are a number of legitimate reasons to be around. We just find them. And we conclude every visit with a trip to replenish the larder.