<p>Hi
My son was accepted into 2 year highschool/college program. It is a program in which juniors go to college take college classes and after 2 years they graduate with a high school diploma and several college credits. He was under a lot of pressure for his AP exams last week when he signed and returned the letter of intent accepting to go. Since then he had been very upset and not quite sure about this decision.
My question is : Would there be any negative affect if he backs off from the decision? Would this reflect bad on his application two years later?<br>
It has been less than a week. The college program has a waiting list. </p>
<p>If you can give it more time before your have to decide whether to back off or not, I would give him some time. This is a horrible time of year to decide how you feel about much. A few years ago S was distraught that he accepted to a very competitive engineering program, he felt he made a huge mistake as he wanted to be in a less competitive environment. A month later, APs done, graduation, finals done, a bit of time for a breather and he was so glad he made the decision he did. </p>
<p>Your S will most likely really love the challenge the program will offer him but right now there is just too much stress for him to realize it. It sounds like a great program and one he may regret not doing.</p>
<p>Go for a walk together – literally. That way you are side by side (neither in a dominant position). You are also both using both halves of your body (facilitates using both halves of the brain). </p>
<p>Use interview questions. Not “how are you?” (answer: “fine”) but “Tell me what’s going on in your XX class” and “What would you like to do this weekend?” </p>
<p>Tell S that he is entering a new phase. Always before it was obvious what came next (what comes after fourth grade? Fifth grade!). Now he’s entering the phase where people go down different paths. What can be very hard (particularly for a high achiever) is there is no “right” path. Tell him there is merit to all his options and that you will support him in any of them. </p>
<p>He is right to pause and do some thinking. My two S both have done the rigorous IB program. They are proud of their work but, man, there is no question they paid a price for this choice. I would say that a bit too much was expected of them. </p>
<p>You are closing out his childhood. Now is a time when parents can get trailhead fever (college credits = less cost!). He may have galloped through some tough weeks and be wondering just how much of a rat race he wants to be in for the next two years. And if that puts him into a high pressure college app pool, followed by four or more years of high pressured college life . . . is this who he is?</p>
<p>Then again, a simpler path might end up being boring. He doesn’t need to spend the next two years of his life watching the paint age in classes that are not interesting. </p>
<p>So, he needs to pick through the details. Just how MUCH pressure/work is in the program? Just what ARE his options if he declines to join in? Help him figure out who he can talk with to figure out these details. </p>
<p>Some juniors who jump to college classes find that they miss their friends and that they are not really connected to the college community (because they are still in HS). So, no HS friends and no college friends and a truck load of work . . . </p>
<p>In soph year, my S began taking classes at a U. The math class was abut a 45 minute drive. I coordinated with another boy’s family. My son and this young man became close friends. By junior year, the local U was available and son took 4-5 classes there each semester. He saw his HS friends every weekend, as usual. Boredom would have been a bigger problem.</p>
<p>I would ask your son who else he knows that is going to this program. If it is local, I expect that other bright kids who he has shared AP classes with will be attending this dual degree program, too. He will also be able to see his HS friends. </p>
<p>How much time do you have to decide? Seems your son may be exhausted from APs and needs time to relax.</p>
<p>Rereading Olymom’s post, I realized that S faced going to IB program, or staying in local HS with APs. We spoke to teachers and other families with same decision. It was clear that his friends were split. We chose the local HS route, and it was the best for us. One of son’s friends left the IB program after a year and rejoined local HS. No long term negative consequences.</p>
<p>Your kid doesn’t have to make a final decision about this until the day classes start in the fall - or even possibly after the first day of class! Don’t worry about whether or not he’s blocking out someone who is on the waiting list. The truly important thing for your son is that he feels confident that he’s ready for this program if/when he actually begins classes. He has the whole summer to sort this out. Give him the time he needs.</p>
<p>Hi
Thanks to all for taking time to give your input.
As Olymom suggested, we did the talk in very relaxed environment but he not come to clear conclusion. The other program in a residential program at the campus is about 1 hr drive from home. It has kids over a range of calibre but all focused in math and sciences. THe program produces 5-10 intel semifinalists every year. His present school has excellent teachers in math and science but does not push math and science research as much ( very good HS though). My S wants to be in medicine and not a Phd in pure sciences. </p>
<p>The two lines of thinking that he was caught up in are as follows:</p>
<p>a) Join the new program and focus on research and if all goes well come out with good research exp. but will this research be valued by colleges as sustitute for all round experience at HS.</p>
<p>b) Stay at HS and do all the APs(about 14-15 total possible with his schedule) and learn more versatile skills at HS. (Note: He doesn’t have stellar extra curriculars at HS. He was in football in freshman, lter he joined Debate. He wants to continue debate but feels it may be challenging. Also he is ranked 1/600 but we can’t count on it - it is a very competitive school). He wonders if his decision would put him at a disadvantage in terms of ECs etc.</p>
<p>I would really appreciate if you take little more timeto help us out. Thanks
rvadad</p>
<p>As this decision does not have to be made asap, why not take a vacation from the topic? While you all focus on other things, his subconscious mind will be working away at the issue. When it’s time to revisit it, perhaps he will have more clarity.</p>
<p>From my own opinion, I’d be a lot more interested in if my child were interested in research or an all round experience at HS than what colleges think. If you’ve read some threads here, you’ll see that having top scores, being ranked #1 and all of those things are important but there are a lot more kids who have them than there are spaces at the top colleges. All colleges are looking for energetic kids who have real passion. That research is not going to be an acceptable substitute for that if he winds up burned out.</p>
<p>Lastly, he’s young, he might might change his mind up to the last day (or even after!) My son did all the legwork to get high school done in three years and then changed his mind at the end of his Sophomore year. His reason for wanting to stay four years? The theater arts program, which he loved. I’m really glad we signed off on letting him do it in three years and really glad we signed off on letting him change his mind about it. It’s all part of growing at a good pace; not pushing too far, too fast.</p>
<p>After reading your second post, I’d perhaps weigh in along the “hey, you’re only a teen once, stay local” line. </p>
<p>Both my sons did Debate and Knowledge Bowl in HS. They loved it. I went along to one or two debate tournaments and quickly realized how superfluous I was (unless I was judging an event). The kids got themselves to the various buildings/classes on time, looked professional, analyzed their wins and losses and ate a lot of pizza, all in the company of bright, articulate, supportive peers. It was marvelous. </p>
<p>Yes, debate does get more challenging at the junior/senior level. But he can change events – he can do a prepared speech or “interp” or something other than the prep heavy Lincoln/Douglas or team debate events. </p>
<p>I would encourage him to connect with another HS group. He could try a theater class (almost always a zany, close group) or choir or one of the do-gooder groups like Peace Club. EC’s can also be obtained during the summer or in bits and pieces (one of my S helps the Food Bank at Thanksgiving and at the May mail carrier drive. So, just two times a year for that one). </p>
<p>Debate plus two other activities that he enjoys and believes in is respectable. </p>
<p>Now is a REALLY good time to make sure you tell him that the highly selective schools are a dice roll. He can be #1, with a perfect SAT and several EC’s and glowing letters of recommendation and STILL not get admitted. It happens. However, if he embraces learning, friendship and activities he values, there is NO way he doesn’t come out ahead. </p>
<p>You two might want to read through some of the “love thy safety” threads so you find a path for him that will work well – do that FIRST and then go ahead and shoot for the big name schools too. </p>
<p>We have two friends that are in medical school. Sounds like med school has changed a bit. The regional one here strongly prefers older students. They look for people who have been out of college and working for two or three years before applying to med school. That may be different in your neck of the woods, but it might be something to check out. What would S do with his bachelor’s degree if it came to be a 3 year break between college and med school?</p>
<p>Also, both our friends attended a respected LAC. There, at least, are two instances where pursuits other than hard science still led to med school. I know they both took science courses, but neither was a “pre med” major.</p>
<p>As a mother of a debater, I have to weigh in to second Olymom’s comments. There is more to high school than just the academics. If your HS has AP’ that he is interested in, and he has some extracurricular activities to explore, he will probably gain a wider range of skills by staying in HS. Depending on the team, there are a wide variety of “forensics” events. It can be challenging or low key, depending on the coach. S2 tried most of the events, but had his clear favorites, and excelled at a few. He picked up all kinds of skills - academic and life skills. And for him, the debate team was like an extended family. </p>
<p>I believe his commitment to debate helped him in college admissions. </p>
<p>Any chance he can explore the research avenue during his summers?</p>
<p>Thanks again for the advice. It means a lot coming from folks who have been there. This is our first time and last. He is our only child and we are not quite ready to let him go. Perhaps this showed through in our conversations - despite our best efforts. </p>
<p>About the timeline, we signed a letter of intent. There is orientation next month. We have to submit a letter of withdrawal to the current HS ( if we wish to go forward with initial decision). I believe we can delay the withdrawal till the time we reach a clear decision. In the mean time I need to talk to the other school and let them know of the situation. It would be fair for that other kid who’s on the waitlist if we decide sooner than later. I am planning on giving this a break till S finishes his APs next week. </p>
<p>As for the ECs at HS - should he decide to withdraw- would changing from one format of debate ( CX to LD) set him back? Also I like the idea of summer research. I need to explore that more. </p>
<p>Thanks to all. I really appreciate your input. CC is the best.
RVADAD</p>