<p>My son went back and forth deciding between two schools until THE night before. He finally made his decision. Just today, (May 5th) he said he wishes he had accepted the other school. AAARGH. </p>
<p>Have many of you experienced this with your sons or daughters? Frankly, he is lucky to have been choosing between two great schools anyway.</p>
<p>I envy the parents who say "she chose....and never looked back!"</p>
<p>“Son, you know I support you in the decisions you make. Don’t worry, I’m sure [the school you wished you’d committed to] will have sophomore openings this time next year. Why don’t you check into their transfer criteria?”</p>
<p>On the other hand, your son might be able to get his admission status reversed … if he’s creative enough. But at this point that’s HIS problem, not yours.</p>
<p>Here’s a similar thread: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1140371-so-much-buyers-remorse.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1140371-so-much-buyers-remorse.html</a>. In particular, check out post 19 - relevant to oh-so-many difficult decisions!</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>That’s me. Not my kids, but me.</p>
<p>We’ve been there. My D’s experience a few years back was torturous. She deposited at one school before the deadline, changed her mind, told them she was withdrawing (don’t remember if we got a refund) and then deposited at the other school. After she had done that, she thought she was right the first time, but fortunately didn’t act on it. Now, a few years into it, she is confident she made the right decision, but that took about a year…</p>
<p>S was deciding betweening a few last year, and we still don’t know if he made the right choice. Some people are just less decisive and keep questioning themselves. </p>
<p>My sympathy for what you’re going through. Honestly, it probably is a toss-up either way and he’ll be fine at either. Unless he has some entirely solid reason for changing his mind now, just move on. If he’s 100% certain he erred and has a good reason, you could try to undo it - its likely possible if you do it immediately. But he should probably move on and accept his school.</p>
<p>I’m thinking that if my son said that to me, I’d probably tell him to get on the phone to declined school and see if he could take back his no. And then have to see if he can get out of his yes. But he would have to do it. Perhaps he’d rethink and be happy, perhaps he’d find out he couldn’t, perhaps he could…but he’s going to have to make a lot of hard choices in the future. Just a thought…good luck!</p>
<p>I have heard of kids who have changed their minds and decided on another school even this late, but the window is closing very quickly. That said, buyer’s remorse is VERY common. He should go back through why he wanted one over the other. Since he waited til the very end to decide, he’s not as far into the acceptance phase as many of his friends who decided earlier may be at this stage. (I have a kid who decided at 8 pm on May 1st last year. I feel your pain!)</p>
<p>One big question would be whether the finances between one school vs. the other makes a difference for your family. Scholarships may have been given to another student already. Sounds like he has a lot of thinking and discussing to do this weekend.</p>
<p>Ha! My daughter’s roommate has you all beat!!</p>
<p>She decided on her school, went to orientation for two days, called her parents saying she had a made a horrible mistake. Then she talked them into letting her withdraw, pack up, talk her way into school #2, and move into school #2.</p>
<p>THEN!!!</p>
<p>She decided she HATED school #2 and LOVED school #1!!! </p>
<p>Guess what her parents did??!!</p>
<p>Helped her withdraw and move out of school # 2 and get back into school, then move into, # 1!!!</p>
<p>And these two schools were halfway across the country from each other!!</p>
<p>She has happily been at school #1 for two years now.</p>
<p>I guess the moral of the story is to make them stick it out!!</p>
<p>I think the preferred school would still take him. It’s flattering to be wanted. And I’m sure the chosen school (of course I know which school it is) would allow him to withdraw. No school really wants students that don’t want to be there.</p>
<p>I would help if necessary. I would make the arrangement but suggest the student wait 24 hours to finalize the arrangements in writing just to make sure.</p>
<p>If I can be of any help, don’t hesitate to ask.</p>
<p>SVMMOM: talk about enabling…that’s ridiculous…</p>
<p>It is very common amongst seniors in high school. Even I questioned if I made the right choice turning down 4 years w/ partials scholarships for a JC. You just have to believe you made the right choice and that everything will be fine.</p>
<p>I’m like cptofthehouse. My son was making these decisions last year and even though I thought he should at least consider another one of the schools that accepted him, he stuck with his choice. But me? I’m still here, wondering “What if he had gone …?”</p>
<p>Never had that luxury. D1 was lucky to get into the school she got into. Maybe it’ll be the case with D2.</p>
<p>Tell him to move on and enjoy his summer.</p>
<p>Your son was processing the choice so seriously that it’s hard to just turn those deliberations off once a decision has been made. There’s a momentum to intense deliberating.</p>
<p>He should just turn his attention to what’s going on in his life right now. He’s had to think about the future so much, he has a great college to go to in the Fall… now he can live in the present again and enjoy the rest of his senior year.</p>
<p>Easier said than done, but you can only remind him that with a set of great options he had to choose one. It’s totally understandable that his other great choice is still in his mind.</p>
<p>Once fall rolls around, though, he’ll be living in the moment at his new college and having all kinds of new great adventures there.</p>
<p>One thing I told my son after he finally decided where to attend was that I was very proud of the deliberation process he had gone through. These were his top two choices for a year and a half and he focused significant effort into getting into at least one of them. There was no bad choice, and he gave the decision the mature reflection it deserved.</p>
<p>Sounds like your S did the same thing. This is the biggest decision most of our kids have ever made to this point in their lives. Welcome to adulthood.</p>
<p>Good news everybody! He has flipped back…we are just going to move on. It is too bad he couldn’t just get his stuff and start the college whirlwind now so he wouldn’t have time to think! He is currently trapped in an AP test right now so that is good.</p>
<p>'rentof2: Thanks for that advice. I think I will have him read your wise post.</p>
<p>As long as Harvey Mudd doesn’t call him off of the waitlist (which is probably a slim to none chance anyway) we are all set!</p>
<p>shell</p>
<p>Friend’s son accepted U of Miami and declined Tufts (after thinking good and hard about it). Changed his mind sometime in early May–called Tufts and they said they would still accept him. Now he’s happily finishing his first year at Tufts. </p>
<p>I’d say that giving a kid one bite of the apple (one chance to change mind) is OK. Changing again…I’m not so understanding.</p>
<p>Considering that WLs mean that colleges can change their minds … and that hundreds of kids are sanctioned to “change their minds” by accepting a WL offer, maybe we shouldn’t be too hard on kids where new concerns affect their feelings at least through May.</p>
<p>And while I wouldn’t want to be the parents who go through the hassle of moving kids in and out if there is a sudden change of heart in the fall, I know it must be a hard situation to face. We’ve all heard stories both ways, of kids coming to love their schools and kids realizing they’ve made a major mistake. </p>
<p>I do think anything that makes the kid have to take charge of the change is a good idea (unless they’re in an emotional crisis, but that is a whole other subject). I have enormous respect for kids who put in the time and energy on transfer applications.</p>
<p>I kid you not. Harvey Mudd just called and offered him a spot on the waitlist. Just as things were settling down…</p>