So my daughter’s situation is definitely tough to figure out. Maybe I am just scared for her. Here is the backstory (this might get long so buckle up!): my daughter will be a senior in HS in the fall. She is a very bright girl and is very drawn to the arts but her ADHD has definitely impacted her ability to do the things she needs to do in school to reach her potential (turn in assignments, stay organized, getting overwhelmed by things to the point of just avoiding doing anything). She is very, very passionate about working in sound design and audio post production as well as voice acting. She spends all of her free time doing these things - has even created a home recording studio to work in. She has struggled socially throughout her life (or to more accurately put it, she has no friends in high school and does not care). She simply does not fit in. She does have friends through her voice acting community and feels very connected to them but that is online. She has really struggled with getting through high school largely due to her ADHD issues with turning things in and organization. I feel like when she graduates, I should get a diploma as well for all the support we had to give her. Oh, and she is legally blind (but very functional).
Now we have to look to the future. She absolutely wants to go to college so she can learn sound design to hopefully work in the film/TV industry and of course, I would love her to go but I also worry we are going to be throwing money out the window. We have narrowed the colleges down to three schools that have programs that are very specific to her interests and that are very arts based. If she gets into the one she wants, it will be in Chicago (we are from NJ). She absolutely fell in love with it, and really liked another one in Boston but that is a reach school. In all ways it would seem like Chicago is a perfect fit EXCEPT for her ability to do the work in classes that aren’t as interesting to her (i.e. the standard required liberal arts classes). We have tried over the years to help her find the strategies that work for her but nothing seems to help too much.
So what I am asking here is…if you were in my shoes, what would you do? Let her give it a try with the understanding that if she can’t keep up, we change course. Or, encourage her to stay closer to home so we can be more of a support to her. I have lost a lot of sleep trying to figure out what is best so any input would be greatly appreciated.
We have a friend whose son is in a similar situation. He has learning challenges that has made him struggle in high school. But he has also excelled in things like debate and politics. They decided to have him go to a local community college and if he’s able to handle those classes then they are going to let him transfer to a 4 year university.
I would encourage you to help your daughter find a place where she will be successful…not one where you feel there is probability she will need to leave because she is not successful.
I think your daughter needs a middle ground. Do you expect to be there to support her organization all,the way through college and beyond? That is unrealistic.
What has been done to address her attentional issues, and organizational issues? Does she currently have a 504 accommodation plan or an IEP…and if not…why not?
Do the far away colleges have good disability support services?
Your child does not have to go to a four year college from the get go to work in technical theater.
Frankly, I don’t think your daughter has demonstrated that she has the independent learning skills to go far away to college on your dime. This could be not only an expensive lesson for her…but also for you.
I think you need to get to the source of her disorganization and attention issues…and deal with those issues first. But that’s my opinion.
I like @hopedaisy’s suggestion that she perhaps try community college first. Although if the classes weren’t of interest, she might not engage. Have you looked at Purchase College? It’s part of SUNY system - about 30 miles north of NYC. They have courses/majors in a lot of the things your daughter is interested in. And it would be a lot closer than Chicago. Perhaps worth a visit?
Thanks so much. She has had an IEP for years now. I can’t tell you how many times she has sat and cried with me because she doesn’t know why she can’t use the tools or be motivated enough to get the work done on time. I know she needs to be in a creative environment for her to thrive. I believe she can be successful in the field because I see her deep interest in it. When we visited Chicago when they were showing us the audio department, she said in my ear “these are my people”. I have considered community college but I really don’t think she will succeed if she isn’t doing work in audio/sound design right away.
I would suggest that you visit the school and make an appointment for your and your D to meet with the Office of Disability Services at that college. Let your D discuss her concerns with them. Get an understanding of exactly what type of supports they have for your D, how they can help her etc. If you can’t make another in person visit now, see if you can Skype, Facetime or something like that (although I would have a face to face meeting with them before sending D to the college). Maybe this information can help you make a decision.
if this is DePaul that you are talking about, they have a very good Center for Student Disabilities, from what I understand. Like most schools, there are all kinds of accommodations that can be given, from note-taking to having longer times to take tests, etc.
Does this career need a college degree? If there is a more tech school degree it might not have the gen ed requirements that she dislikes. Is it a field with an apprenticeship option?
I have known enough close friends whose kids “flared out” in various ways to line up on the side of @thumper1. Make absolutely sure she has the support she needs-- the downside of pushing to somewhere without that can be tragic.
In terms of organization, we have worked on different ways to track work to be done (planner, both online and written) and prioritizing, breaking tasks down into smaller tasks (this does seem to help with the overwhelmed feeling she gets), and ways to organizer her folders so things don’t get lost in them. For attention she is always seated in the front (also for the vision issues). Not much else as far as attention.
We considered DePaul but the college she is most interested in is Columbia College Chicago. I am going to be calling the disability offices next week and get a feel for what they offer.
FWIW, Columbia College shares a dorm building with DePaul (and Roosevelt College) students which is quite nice, called the UC (I think they have other dorms as well). It looks like that there’s a good chance that from a living standpoint, there are special accommodations that can be obtained if you apply before May 1 to CC. I’m guessing that whichever university she goes to, the Disabilities center can help with things like planning and prioritizing, and as previously mentioned, note-taking if necessary, and extra time on tests.
Columbia College is great. Has a nice artsy, funky feel. My daughter knows many that went and graduated there. Then got jobs ?.
For those that question a degree. Really hard to enter this world without a connection then getting trained… So getting a degree leads to contacts made plus you need the technical skills on many levels.
Is she able to do biofeedback of any type? Might be something to look into. I have seen it work on many with adhd. I live in Chicago and can give you references if you want to pm me. Good luck to your daughter.
My daughter is very similar. She is going to do community college with a lot of support. We thought that if she were to go away to school (which was the original plan) we would actually find someone “on the ground” to help her manage…like a stay at home parent or retiree looking for some supplemental income. We actually have a retiree in our current area who helps us out with daughter when my spouse and I travel. I also recently learned you can actually buy tuition insurance if things don’t work out…I don’t know much about it except that it exists.
Where are her on-line friends going? Are they planning on similar careers? Do they have suggestions? Any experiences?
You’re asking us—has she asked them?
Sometimes the motivation really does come from passion for some people. They’ll work 24/7 for a project and won’t bother to hand in a half page paper that would
take two minutes. They’re wired differently.
Setting priorities is a skill that really needs some practice. It’s a teachable skill and valuable —don’t give up on it. Keep the planner and write everything down. Plus a calendar with steps (the breaking down task part) Until it’s routine and then a habit. Have faith it will happen.
I don’t know if it’s possible but if she could clear some of those gen ed classes out of the way through CC or dual credit or another avenue on-line it will certainly make for an easier college experience.
I think I would try to get to the source if the attention issues. If it were me…I would want a very good neuropsychological exam. I would explain to the examiner that I was concerned about attention issue.
If the school has attention concerns, what did they recommend? Have you ever sought out medical treatment for this youngster? I know medication is controversial, but for some kids…and adults…it makes a huge difference. That and some executive functioning coaching…to help,with organization, etc.
From the outside looking in…it seems like there are some reserves that might help.
Remember this about college disability services…they will not chase your kid down to turn in assignments. They will not seek your kid out. It will be the responsibility of your kid to seek assistance and be a good self advocate for any accommodations she receives. There aren’t cars manages like in HS who chase kids down to get things done.
this is quite true, but with student permission, a parent can act as a conduit to request things. This may help move things along with certain types of requests.