Having doubts about daughter's choices

I’m just saying that the IEP ends at high school graduation. Colleges can object to following the IEP (just as many school districts aren’t good at following the IEPs and providing all the accommodations) and then what does the student do? There is no means to appeal if the accommodations aren’t followed. There is no way to update the IEP once the student leaves high school. The IEP is a contract between the school district and the student/family, and the college is not a party to it, had no part in creating it, and may not be willing to follow it. The IEP might be good enough for freshman year, but what if changes are needed for sophomore year?

Colleges aren’t required to follow a 504 Plan, but there are some legal rights that are available under the ADA that do extend beyond high school (just the plan is no longer active)

https://www.understood.org/en/school-learning/choosing-starting-school/leaving-high-school/are-there-ieps-and-504-plans-in-college

https://www.ldadvisory.com/college_no_iep_504/

What stuck out to me is your D said , “these are my people” and your prior comments about your D having no friends other than her on-line group. To me, that says take a chance for a year. But send her in with all the support you can to ensure she’s taking the best shot she can. In addition to other things, I’d give a call to the person @Hanna recommended.

Have you looked into RIT? I don’t know about their sound design program specifically, but they have a big focus on similar industries. And they have programs for autistic students and deaf students. I know that’s not specific to your daughter, but overall, it sounds like they take support very seriously and allocate the resources to do so.

Worth a look.

“My people” struck me too. Art school and the environment with creative people is a totally different vibe and focus than what occurs in most high schools.

https://www.recordingconnection.com/

How about this place? You could check it out and visit, they have locations in NJ too I think.

It is very common for artistic kids to feel like they are alone in a traditional school setting. They are the strange or weirdo kids.

I say this since I know this world well. My daughter went to a Private performing arts high school in Chicago. Almost every kid we met had a story of being picked on or left out or the “strange” one etc in their current high school or middle schools for loving and having passion for their craft and artistic sides. Many but not all are part of the LGBTQ communities. Which adds another deeper layer. At her school as they come together and rejoice who they are and make amazing art together. They feel wanted. (I am not implying this with your daughter).

Not to go to deep here but having her found her “peeps” is so key. When my daughter auditioned for this school she told me I “need” to go here not that she “wanted” to go there.

The experience was life changing for her.

Also with Adhd, once she “wants” to do something hyperfocus comes into play for many. This makes doing the work not a chore. As stated like at my daughter’s high school, classes at Columbia are geared towards the arts so even English class is interesting since it is not typical.

The reality is you (and she) really won’t know until she tries. All of the tools are important and great, but she has to be willing and able to use the tools and get the work done. It may be that the work will be interesting enough for her to succeed. Good luck!

“It is very common for artistic kids to feel like they are alone in a traditional school setting. They are the strange or weirdo kids.”

"Many but not all are part of the LGBTQ communities. Which adds another deeper layer. "

This is exactly where she is at. At 4 years old she asked to start learning the harp. She continues to play to this day. Since it wasn’t an instrument that could be included in the school setting, she has always performed and competed in harp outside of school so she didn’t even get to be with the more music minded kids in school. She is also asexual and feels very connected with the LGBTQ community.

Interestingly, after posting the original post I sat down with her to talk about community college and showed her a program with audio component. I think this shook her since she really wants to go away and she started doing things without my prompting. Not just her final assignments for this year but doing things at home that have required a lot of prompting from me. We’ll see if it lasts! We are planning a trip out there to meet with the disability services and she will be going away for a week to a recording technology summer college program so that might help get a better picture of how she will respond to being independent (she will have to complete a project by the end of the week to present).

Thanks again everybody.

“she will be going away for a week to a recording technology summer college program”

That’s great! You will all have a chance to see what life looks like when she’s at the wheel. This is such a delicate time when they truly need to be independent, but independence means we can’t know everything they’re doing and whether they’re sinking or swimming. Best wishes!

Up until now she has her own person Executive Function Person…you. You are the one who helps her plan out her homework and makesure she gets it done. You are the one who makes sure she gets up and goes to class. You probably support her…with making food, buying food she likes, maybe laundry, washing sheets, cleaning.

All of a sudden in college she will be on her own. No you to make sure gets up. No you to make sure she writes down the homework and gets in done. No teachers that want to make sure you pass. No one cleaning her room or clothes.

Plus, she is legally blind. I had a coworker who was brilliant and also legally blind…it was an extra burden on her for getting around and reading.

So she loves the voice acting/sound design stuff but perhaps not the rest of college. But college doesn’t work like that…they say “these are the types of courses you have to take” and if you don’t like it, this isn’t the place for you.

To me this does not sound like a recipe for success…unless there was a support program (that you may need to pay extra for) that would help her make sure she gets her work done. Colleges have many many resources to help students, but it is up to the student to use them.

Is there a way to have her start learning/performing organizational skills to prove she is ready for college? E.g. go to a community college for a year first?

Is there a way to get courses in voice acting/sound design that don’t require a 4 year college?

Is there a way to get support at a college for organization?

Is there a skills class through the government that she could attend?

Has she ever been diagnosed/considered medication?

Someone mentioned RIT…
They have motion pictures BS https://www.rit.edu/study/motion-picture-science-bs
But also they have a spectrum support program (yes, your DD is probably not on the autism spectrum but she still needs help with the organization) https://www.rit.edu/studentaffairs/ssp/

@amymariemom23. Wherever she goes then she really needs to be with her “peeps”. Chicago is a great theater /music town. I am sure the school is locked in for internships in her field. There are not many schools that have good programs for her field. Once she is around a community surrounded around the arts, I think you will see motivation that you never knew she had.

First look at the curriculum at Columbia and use that to compare to the other schools you are looking at. She can most likely explain some of the differences to you. Also audio etc is not like acting. It’s not a dime a dozen. If well trained the music /theater /recording tech kids tend to get jobs right out of college. Talk to each school about this. We know someone at Illinois Wesleyan that had a job before graduating in sound.

Have her read this article. This is the head of her high school and this is what he tells the graduating class. This will make sense to her and it’s overall just great advice.

https://www.chicagotribune.com/columns/heidi-stevens/ct-life-stevens-thursday-chicago-academy-for-arts-graduation-speech-0530-story.html?fbclid=IwAR1cuelshR0Iq6S015KsL1CsgVDUufZxG5bX5xobASA27Mnzt90rhGSzYDs

What about hiring an ADHD coach for her where she goes to school to help keep her accountable for the gen ed classes?

I let my daughter go far away and in retrospect it wasn’t a great idea. She struggled and didn’t make it and then has never really been able to finish. I only said yes because she was on the college equestrian team, and she loves that but her grades rendered her unable to stay on the team either. I wish I had her go to CC first, and try it out. She just didn’t have it in her to seek out the help she needed at school.

@toomanyteens that plan may not have had a different outcome. She may have resented being home at a CC and still not have been able to study and succeed. It would have been impossible for you to know ahead of time if the equestrian team position was enough to keep her focused on her studies.

@mom2and I know - I was totally between a rock and a hard place on it. I did let her try, but I find as a parent to a young adult with an LD as well as some mental health challenges I cannot win

Exactly. There is no right answer and the reality is we often have limited ability to influence and no control once they become adults.

@amymariemom23 - I’m late to this thread as I was out of town, so only looked at the first page where @thumper1 asked if I had any input.

If you can afford Columbia College Chicago, and she feels that she has found her people there, I say let her apply. During this last year of high school, continue to work with her on her organizational systems and strategies. By the end of senior year, she will have a much better handle on what she needs to do to get through her classes.

The only working sound tech/designer I know, finished his AA in theater tech at our local community college while pursuing gigs here in the DC Metro area. He joined the local union, and eventually landed an essentially permanent (albeit seasonal) job at Wolf Trap. He continues to do other work in our area and has no need to complete a bachelor’s degree. I don’t know anyone doing voice-over or post-production work, so I can’t speak directly to whether that needs a college education to enter the field.

Since your daughter has vision issues, she won’t be able to drive herself all over the place from one random gig to another like the young designers I know. Working locations, and transportation, are things she might want to start thinking about early in the college/career process.

There aren’t a lot of women doing sound tech/design. I think it’s terrific that she’s interested in that field!

Regarding being able to drive around, Uber/lyft make that a minor issue in metro areas I frequent.

My 2019 HS grad is ADHD inattentive with EF issues and anxiety.

Although in the end she chose a different school, Columbia College really hit all the criteria and we were happy with the conversations we had with the disabilities office.

Given all your daughter deals with, any movement forward is a leap of faith. But, for our family, Columbia Chicago provided the sweet spot between Full Sail and a traditional university like Drexel for audio Engineering.

My daughter changed direction in her career choice, which led to her not choosing Chicago, but it remained a top choice.